When strangers touch your hair...

**Melanie Marie** · April 28th, 2011, 04:01 AM

I'm the kind of person who does NOT like it when strangers touch my hair. Even if it's someone I've known for quite a while, if I don't trust/like them I won't want them touching it. Hair has a much deeper significance to me than aesthetic preference, and I'm sure this is the case with many others out there.

Therefore, I find it extremely ill-mannered and thoughtless when people touch my hair. Just recently a girl one or two grades below me (I'm in 12th grade) who I was barely acquainted with reached out and grabbed ther tail of my 5-strand braid, saying, "I love your hair! It's so pretty and long!" letting go before I could pull away. I felt so violated and uncomfortable, especially since the girl had a cold.

I didn't want to be mean to her because she clearly didn't mean any harm, but for me it's a matter of decency and common sense, and I wish I had told her not to touch my hair.

I've resolved that the next time anyone tries to touch my hair that I will tell them, as politely as I can, to not touch it. What do you do when people touch your hair uninvited? How do you respond, or do you mind at all?

**PeacenQuietGal** · April 28th, 2011, 04:31 AM

I don't think I would mind actually, although I see your point very clearly. I would rather respond with warmth even if it stretched my comfort zone a bit.

**Clarisse** · April 28th, 2011, 04:59 AM

I like it, but my hair is not really worth any touching anyway, so I rarely experience it. Of course it matters who did it, how they did it and in what situation. A male stranger touching my hair would be too weird for me. And I would get mad if someone damaged my hair. Unless it's a baby of course....
The only place I have experienced that my hair got touched and admired by strangers was in Italy. I believe that blond hair is quite a rarity there.

**Melanie Marie** · April 28th, 2011, 05:10 AM

Originally Posted by Clarisse

The only place I have experienced that my hair got touched and admired by strangers was in Italy. I believe that blond hair is quite a rarity there.

Where in Italy have you gone? I would imagine that there aren't too many blondes in the south, but I've never been below Rome. I adore Italy, btw.

**Angeletti** · April 28th, 2011, 06:51 AM

Luckily I haven't had anyone try to touch my hair yet, just my family which is fine. I'd probably swat someone's hand away if a stranger attempted it just because I have an issue with people I don't know getting in my personal space.

**natt i nord** · April 28th, 2011, 07:00 AM

Hm, I don't like that either, but until now it has never happened to me that a stranger wanted to touch my hair. It's mostly up when I go out anyway.

Only my friends like to touch my hair, but I'm okay with that because I know they know my hair has a meaning to me and are careful with that.

**Rebecca.1905** · April 28th, 2011, 07:04 AM

Nobody outside of my family has tried to touch my hair yet. I'm just getting to the point of getting comments on the length (yay!) so if it's going to happen, I'm probably going to reach that point soon.

My boys are weird about it tho. My 6-yr old always grabs it and tells me I need a haircut, and my weird-o 14 yr old puts it in his mouth. In. His. Mouth. Supposedly normal kid, but... he's gross. Pretty sure he only does it because it's nasty and it squicks me out.

So. At least nobody has put your hair in their mouth, right?

**Madora** · April 28th, 2011, 07:06 AM

You can be sure no strangers get anywhere near my hair..which is up and braided anyway.

years ago some guy approached me and wanted to touch my hair. I told him it was being treated for ringworm (which wasn't the case). you never saw any one move so quickly to back off. Some people are clueless!

**lapushka** · April 28th, 2011, 10:39 AM

Originally Posted by Melanie Marie

What do you do when people touch your hair uninvited? How do you respond, or do you mind at all?

For me it all *largely* depends on how they approach me, and in what way they touch me, or a part of me (my hair).

Clearly, in your case, the girl was trying to be nice to you, and that obviously also determined your response to her. I can see how her touching you(r hair) made you feel awkward and left you a bit unsure of how to go about telling her that being touched makes you uncomfortable. Perhaps next time you can tell her?

I find it hard to be unkind to people who are clearly just trying to be nice, but if they go too far in whatever way, be it by inappropriately touching me, or approaching me or be it by showing me inappropriate behavior (bullying, pestering), then OMG... step away from the sandstorm that's about to hit you full force.

**BrightEyes7** · April 28th, 2011, 10:55 AM

I don't think it would have really bothered me in that instance. She just touched the end of the braid?

There is this one client who comes in to the office I work at. I really like him and his wife, their really fun and nice people. I'd consider them 'friends' as far as clients go. Anyway, I normally wear my hair up and one day they came in and I had it down. He was going crazy about it. Said he loved long hair! I didn't think too much about it. Then every time he came in after that and my hair was up he'd always ask about it. Then recently he came in and my hair was down. He touched it. And not the ends. He came up and put his hand in the hair by the roots towards the nape of my neck... it was awkward to say the least. Then I learned he was a hippy and used to have really long curly hair. (He has short hair, but major male pattern baldness) So it was a little less strange. If he would have touched the ends of my hair I wouldn't have minded, it was that was just a bit... intimate!

I once also had a stranger behind me at the grocery store pick up the end of my braid. She was just admiring my braiding skills. It didn't bother me.

I guess I'm more of a touchy person than others, so when others touch me it doesn't really bother me.