Can anybody relate to this? I have fear of going to get hair cut.

[Jools69]

So sorry that this happened to you. That is way too much hair to cut off for a trim. I think some hairdressers ‘think’ they know better than you and become ‘scissor happy’, or they make a mistake and try to cover it up. Perhaps you being a foreigner and thinking you wouldn’t be back, cut your hair for financial gain, like you suspected. I think having a trusted someone there with you is a good idea and should help with your fear.

My fear of going to hairdressers comes from being a child and not having a say with how to have my hair. Sitting in the hairdresser’s chair thinking I’m going to have a trim, but instead having my APL hair hacked into a pixie. Later as an adult, hairdressers would disagree with me on how much to take off. Although I did used to abused my hair in those days, it was when I stopped going as often to salon that my hair began to get longer. Now I think I’ve finally found a hairdresser that does listen to me. I found her through a colleague at work that told me that she actually takes off the amount you tell her.

[GoddesJourney]

I learned to cut my own over a decade ago and have been doing ever since (aside from the period of time when it was really short because I cut it all off to a short pixie). In my experience, it seemed most hair stylists I came across thought they knew better what I wanted than I did. They figured once the cut was over I would be so happy. Then they try to sell me on it afterward, like, "See? It looks so healthy now." Or "I cut off all the damage you had." "This definitely looks much better/youthful/modern blah blah blah...it was just way too long/boring." And some people are super thoughtless. My mom has made the exact same face and comment every time I've mentioned trimming my hair. She make like a mild *yuck* face and say, "It was getting way too long." Even if I cut a half inch! Sometimes I wonder if people just think you want them to say that what you had was bad and this is way better.

And I do believe that people in the US that were raised on inches and stubbornly refuse to ever learn another system of measurement still have no idea what an inch actually looks like. Ever since I was a little kid getting a haircut, I remember seeing the hairdressers holding up their combs with their fingers indicating how much they intend to cut and it was always about 4 to 6 inches regardless of what you say to them. My mom started cutting my hair at home and it was way better.

I also think that people have absolutely no idea how fast hair grows, especially if theirs is short. It seems the general belief is that however much they cut off it should be back within a few months. Because "it grows back so fast" and if it doesn't its must be because "your hair must grow really slow then and maybe you should take some hair vitamins". So they take cutting off a year or two's worth of hair like if you got a scrape that will heal in a couple of weeks. What's the big deal?! Yeah, not how that works.

In short, if your hair is important to you, either find someone that actually listens and never leave them or learn to do it yourself. Some people don't listen or take you seriously even if you are abundantly clear and very serious, whether you are telling how much you want cut off your hair, explaining them that you are allergic to whatever ingredients, getting into a serious relationship, etc.

[Feral_]

I am sorry this has happened to you. I think some scare-dressers don’t realise how much they can absolutely ruin you by cutting too much off! So much is miscommunication, I hope, rather than a deliberate wilful act. Your hair does look lovely from the pics by the way.

I’ve not had your experience but when I used to go to the hairdresser and I wanted a ‘V’ cut at the back, she seemed unable to understand what that was (I did show her pic!). Each time I went for a trim she’d say “it’s nearly there” and when she showed me the back of my head there was the slightest hint of a blunt ‘U’. It got to the point where I gave up as she just did her own thing

[spidermom]

I was watching a hair styling competition show and heard something pretty disturbing. The judge said that a hair stylist's job is NOT to do exactly what the customer asks, it's to give the customer something that looks a lot better than what is asked for. That's how one makes a name for him- or herself in the industry.

[squirrrel]

I was watching a hair styling competition show and heard something pretty disturbing. The judge said that a hair stylist's job is NOT to do exactly what the customer asks, it's to give the customer something that looks a lot better than what is asked for. That's how one makes a name for him- or herself in the industry.

‘A lot better’ in whose opinion? If that’s the case I believe I shall continue to steer clear. If I cannot trust them...

Actually, there is one place I know I would probably go for a straight cut. They always used to talk about enjoying the length of my hair when I was younger. I can do that myself, and since they cater to all styles it doesn’t occur to me to go if I would like someone else to ‘pamper’ it. So I’m still left at continuing to look after I here. Suits me...

[GrowlingCupcake]

I haven't had this happen to me in recent years but I did as a child, and it's scarred me. I don't get my hair cut professionally unless there's someone there watching* even the hairstylist I had been going to for years. I now trim my own hair or get someone I trust to.

*I've done so once (I think? I don't even remember this for sure) but it was fine as the hairstylist was respectful, and trimmed *less* than I originally thought I would need.

I was watching a hair styling competition show and heard something pretty disturbing. The judge said that a hair stylist's job is NOT to do exactly what the customer asks, it's to give the customer something that looks a lot better than what is asked for. That's how one makes a name for him- or herself in the industry.

That's awful.

[Chromis]

I cut my own. I've never had a hair stylist cut mine to what I asked for. All I want is a blunt trim, this is not a hard ask! Seriously? Not layers, not bangs, not a foot shorter, not thinning, just a boring trim.

Now I get just what I want and it is cheaper and no one yanks on my hair or fills it with some weird goop.

[lapushka]

I cut my own. I've never had a hair stylist cut mine to what I asked for. All I want is a blunt trim, this is not a hard ask! Seriously? Not layers, not bangs, not a foot shorter, not thinning, just a boring trim.

Now I get just what I want and it is cheaper and no one yanks on my hair or fills it with some weird goop.

Definitely a plus. Besides, I have "goop" of my own.

[CuteCrow]

She didn't cut them all at once. She put them all up and then cut them gradually. Thing is I told her I don't want any change in hair style...just to cut them straight and showed her how much. I just wanted it to be a little shorter because it was weighing me down. But I'm shocked at the result because I was so sure that I spoke very clearly.

I don't even know what to think. But I kind of feel like going to places where they sell wigs etc to see if I find a wig made out of my hair somewhere.
I'm thinking maybe here in Panama they do run some scams...maybe not in U.S. but here...and also they probably see I'm a foreigner and don't expect me to come back again anyway...

I don't know if it's of any consolation but if she didn't cut much hair at once but was more like snipping it shorter and shorter I highly doubt she did it to sell the hair. You need it to be a certain length and to have it cut in a "compact" way, it's close to impossible to gather random hairs on the floor just to sell it and make a wig.

I think as it's been said above, she probably was one of those hairdressers who either was jealous of your length or thought she knew better than you what you wanted. I completely get why you are mad. I'd be it too

[Hairkay]

I cut my own. I've never had a hair stylist cut mine to what I asked for. All I want is a blunt trim, this is not a hard ask! Seriously? Not layers, not bangs, not a foot shorter, not thinning, just a boring trim.

Now I get just what I want and it is cheaper and no one yanks on my hair or fills it with some weird goop.

I also do my own trims. I can't do the salon products or the heat from hair drying my skin resists too much. I however don't want a blunt cut or even trim. I like my natural taper and maintain that with my trims and s&d. For tight curlie coils that's mostly kept in plaits or twists having tapered ends is neater. I'd get too much unravelling with a blunt cut and I'd have to become reliant on rubber bands on hair ends which isn't good for my hair in the long run.