New, frazzled and confused

[kdsan]

Hi all - I've been doing a lot of research the past 2 weeks and my head is spinning.  I am more confused now than I was when I started.

Here's what I've learned:

• 2b/2c/possibly 3a combo wave/curl when worn naturally
• low porosity
• medium/highly dense hair
• medium but not quite coarse diameter

Other possible relevant info:

• I have a water softener.
• I don't usually apply products on my hair and I find my hair get's build up and oily (possibly attributed to porosity).
• My typical routine involves washing/drying, placing in bun or braids till dry, and then flat ironing (w/ a protectant, first) or wearing wavy.
• I don't want to do CG method cause I like wearing my hair straight regularly.
• I STILL don't know if i'm protein sensitive or my hair is just dry.
• I live in high-humidity Florida.
• Current shampoo/conditioner: tressemme for color treated hair.
• Trimmed the ends about a week ago.

So I tried something new yesterdayand it feels like a huge fail. Pre-conditioned with avocado oil and steamed and wrapped for 30 minutes (washed (hair felt nice and soft), did a ACV rinse (bad idea, hair suddenly felt dry and tangled easily), conditioned, detangled w/ wide tooth comb, pinned up while I showered, rinsed, used Hawaiian Silk Leave in and plopped w/ a t-shirt. My hair was full of curls but still looked dry on the ends and a bit frizzy. Today, it looked like a hot mess and was tangled. So i combed (i've heard this is a no-no for curls but I can't leave it tangled!!) reapplied Hawaiian silk, did two side braids and put sponge curlers at the end. The attached picture is the result. i've also attached a picture from last week where I braided my hair, moused (tressemme) and broke the cast.Notice waves closer to scalp and how it looks further down.

At the end of the day, what brought me to research all of this is that my hair feels dry (from the middle down), it tangles easily and I leave a ton of it on the shower floor, on the brush, or all over the house. If I wear it naturally there's NO WAY I can go a day without combing it... it looks awful and tangled. Based on the above, I'm still confused as to what products to use, in which order. One blog will talk about using products XYZ, but then blog 2 says, don't use XYZ if you have low porosity, or if you have protein overload. I don't want to spend a ton of money on products only to find out they're the wrong one for my hair. Help!

https://imgur.com/a/49swUKx

[lapushka]

Since you've straightened for so long some of the texture might have gotten heat damaged. By that I mean you might have white dots in your hair (weak; breaking points) but it also might change your texture to where you will need to grow it out until you can wear it wavy/curly in better condition.

Just some thoughts that came to mind while reading.

Anyway, pressed for time right now... I just want to wish you a warm welcome here!

[shelomit]

Howdy! Your hair actually sounds very similar to mine (apart from being more dense). I can also sympathize with your humidity woes, as I used to live in south Georgia ( ;

I, too, deal with hair that seems chronically under-moisturized. At least in my case, I find that doesn't mean that I completely have to stay away from protein-y products--my favorite masque is protein-heavy--I just have to make sure that I'm mostly focusing on moisturizing.

If you are interested in wearing your hair straight, I think it may be long enough to let it dry in a "wrapped" bun. (By that, I mean one where the length of hair isn't twisted tightly.) Many people recommend a disc bun for hair of about your length. If you put your hair into a wrapped bun while wet and after detangling, let it dry, and then take it down, it will leach out a lot of the curl. I've never used a flat iron, so I don't know how it compares--probably not that straight--but it is at least something in the way of a heat-free substitute.

ACV rinses are often recommended for folks with hard water, so that's probably an unnecessary step if you've got a water softener. I'm also curious why you refer to using the Hawaiian Silk leave-in and mousse when you also say your hair is prone to build-up.

Definitely the best way to avoid tangling, particularly if you spend time outside or do any kind of vigorous work, is simply to wear your hair up. If you like the way your hair looks while down, perhaps you might experiment with putting it up on days when you are staying home or not seeing many people? Developing a nice repertoire of ways to wear it up, braid it back, etc. also helps. The more detangling you have to do, the more hair you will wind up accidentally pulling out or breaking off.

If this is of any use to you, my current routine is conditioner-only washes once per week, shampooing when my scalp feels like it needs it (= every few months, apparently). I was on a twice or thrice per week conditioner-only washing schedule for part of the winter and spring. That did seem to help build up some moisture in my usually dry hair, so perhaps you would like trying the same. I use Aussie Miracle Moisture as my main conditioner, sometimes switching off with various VO5 options, Herbal Essences, or Griffin Remedy. Suave Daily Clarifying for when I need a shampoo. A little cooking oil as a rinse-out (currently avocado oil). I often do a storebought mask or a SMT on wash day--just whatever is cheap or convenient and moisture-heavy. Detangle while wet. Unless I'm doing some fancy braiding, I find I rarely have to detangle my hair during the week. My hair is pretty much invariably up.

[kdsan]

Thank you for the welcome :-) And for the perspective on what may have happened.

[kdsan]

Shelomit.

To address some of your comments/questions...
* I'll need to look into the bun options you mentioned. Thanks!
* You're probably right about the ACV rinse. I had forgotten that the last time I used it, we didn't yet have the softener, so that explains why it felt so different this time.
* I used the Hawaiian Silk leave-in based on a blog that suggested it was great for moisturizing. When I realized I had undone the effects of the avocado oil/steam treatment I did by using the ACV rinse, I thought this was a good way to moisturize. My hair did OK with it the first day, but when I reapplied a bit the next day to revive my curls my hair did not like it. I later read that it may have been because it contains vegetable protein.
* I've pretty much been wearing my hair in a side braid since March. And only because I'm working from home. I prefer to wear my hair down for the office. But even when I wear it in a braid, I wake up with my hair a mess so the only part that looks nice is the part that's been in the braid. My ends are a mess, as is the crown of my head. Maybe I need to use something other than rubber bands for the ends? The only way they look halfway decent is if I braid and wrap the ends in foam rollers. (side note, to sleep, I can only do one side braid that starts at the nape of my neck or a braid on each side - otherwise, my head hurts)
* Please tell me more about the cooking oil "rinse-out". Also, what is SMT?

Thanks for the list of products!!

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Welcome to the forum

[Vacurlylady]

Welcome to the community! 🤗

[Garnetgem]

Hello welcome!

[CuteCrow]

Also, what is SMT?

Thanks for the list of products!!

SMT = Snowymoon's Moisture Treatment

I don't have much to add to what's already been said. So welcome to the forums!

[elise.autumn]

Howdy! Your hair actually sounds very similar to mine (apart from being more dense). I can also sympathize with your humidity woes, as I used to live in south Georgia ( ;

I, as well, have similar hair! And I currently live in Georgia. The humidity right now. Ahh.

In high school, a friend once said my hair looked like a sheep. That about sums up how I felt about my hair growing up - it was frizzy and in the way, and I usually didn't think much of it.

Then over time, my family discovered Curly Girl and I adopted a few washing techniques. Then I just let my hair be, with very little thought, and through benign neglect, and a bit of new Long Hair Community knowledge, now it is better than it ever has been.

Here is what I've learned so far, and recommendations I would suggest for you:

- Try letting your hair be its natural self (eg, no heat) for a long enough amount of time to see if it makes a difference (maybe pick a whole month and make a project out of it)
- Oil overnight before washing. (this has made my hair softer and less frizzy)
- Maybe try air drying without it braided or bunned (this may help it dry faster and be less hassle)
- Wear hair in protective styles (braided or bunned) the majority of the time, and when moving around, to avoid mechanical damage and tame frizz (you can even sleep with a braid or bun)

And finally... from someone who so easily falls into overthinking and obsession when researching something...

- Enjoy your hair

Your hair will probably never be your perfect ideal, and that is okay. Learning to accept and take care of your unique hair type is a journey, and thankfully, you've joined a great place to continue it!