Asking for SO: Is there anything that can be done about hair loss?

[jane_marie]

My SO is 36 and male. He has been really down about his hair for the last few months. He has always had a bit of a high hairline but over the last few months one spot has become quite bare. It's hard to tell if he is balding or suffering from something like traction alopecia as he is a fairly constant head scratcher and is not very kind/gentle to his fine 3C hair (he rubs it so hard with a towel!). One day a couple months back he came home from the gym and this section of hair hair was noticeably missing. He claims that due to his nervous scratching this has happened many times and always grows back but this time is seems like it isn't.

Last weekend he decided to get his head shaved to see how it all grows in. There is a bit of hair growing in the spot but the new hairs are much finer than the rest of the ones on his head they almost look more like vellus hair to me.

I have been giving him scalp massages with peppermint oil as per his request. I'm not sure it's helping but it does relax him which is positive.

Is there any advice anyone can give to help us out?

For the record, I think he looks incredible with his head shaved but I also want to try to help look how he prefers if I can.

[Suortuva]

Well, minoxidil...

[jane_marie]

Well, minoxidil...

Hmmm... maybe I'll bring that up. Although I could have swore I read at one point that if you start using it you have to continue or it will all fall back out.

[cjk]

First, if he really did get it shaved you have to remember that hair growth occurs in three phases. Only in the anagen phase is the follicle active. So, even if it's not growing at the moment it might be growing 6 weeks from now.

Second, there are a number of drug therapies. As well as clarifying shampoos and other treatments as well. Particularly for men. We might not admit it often, but we are very vain about our hair.

But also be aware of that all drugs have side effects. Most of them are trivial, the stuff is really quite safe. But, be careful and if you notice any of them talk to the doctor.

Actually, have you talked to a doctor? It may not be hair loss, though he is at one of the right ages for it. It could be nutrition. Hormonal. And so forth. Men and women may be different, but symptomatically we have a lot of overlap.

I remember mention of an iron deficiency resulting in hair thinning.

Third, if he does decide to keep his head shaved I actually run a group on Facebook called Bald Head & a Beard. It's a great look. And one I've rocked myself.

Can he grow a beard? Or any facial hair at all?

The human face needs lines to define it. Particularly the male face. The hairline is the most obvious. And eyebrows. Brow line. The jaw line. The beard line is another.

Even if it's only stubble, facial hair helps define the face, separate from the entire head.

I'm kind of a vocal advocate for facial hair. Not just here, but all over.

If I can be of any assistance, even just as a shoulder to lean on, let me know.

[0xalis]

My wife is having the same issue because she's transgender and is off her estrogen right now while we attempt to have a baby.
She still has very thick luxurious hair but she's noticed her hairline is higher than it was in high school and had a panic attack over it
We looked into those other hair loss prevention drugs, and they can also cause fertility problems much like the estrogen so there wouldn't be a point in trying that.
We've come to decide that a baby is more important than hair but we are also wondering if there's anything we can do in the meantime!

[jane_marie]

First, if he really did get it shaved you have to remember that hair growth occurs in three phases. Only in the anagen phase is the follicle active. So, even if it's not growing at the moment it might be growing 6 weeks from now.

Second, there are a number of drug therapies. As well as clarifying shampoos and other treatments as well. Particularly for men. We might not admit it often, but we are very vain about our hair.

But also be aware of that all drugs have side effects. Most of them are trivial, the stuff is really quite safe. But, be careful and if you notice any of them talk to the doctor.

Actually, have you talked to a doctor? It may not be hair loss, though he is at one of the right ages for it. It could be nutrition. Hormonal. And so forth. Men and women may be different, but symptomatically we have a lot of overlap.

I remember mention of an iron deficiency resulting in hair thinning.

Third, if he does decide to keep his head shaved I actually run a group on Facebook called Bald Head & a Beard. It's a great look. And one I've rocked myself.

Can he grow a beard? Or any facial hair at all?

The human face needs lines to define it. Particularly the male face. The hairline is the most obvious. And eyebrows. Brow line. The jaw line. The beard line is another.

Even if it's only stubble, facial hair helps define the face, separate from the entire head.

I'm kind of a vocal advocate for facial hair. Not just here, but all over.

If I can be of any assistance, even just as a shoulder to lean on, let me know.

Thanks for the reply.

I'll remind him that he needs to wait this thing out.

John (aka SO) does keep a ginger beard with very nice lines and has since I have met him. He also has very nice brows.

I think he might be feeling the loss extra badly because until recently he always kept his hair long enough for the spirals to be noticeable. I think he liked that they made him stand out and became a part of his identity.

I feel so bad for him. Like I said, I think he looks amazing with the beard and shaved look but I also thought he looked lovely with his ringlets too.

I just want him to feel good. You know?

[jane_marie]

My wife is having the same issue because she's transgender and is off her estrogen right now while we attempt to have a baby.
She still has very thick luxurious hair but she's noticed her hairline is higher than it was in high school and had a panic attack over it
We looked into those other hair loss prevention drugs, and they can also cause fertility problems much like the estrogen so there wouldn't be a point in trying that.
We've come to decide that a baby is more important than hair but we are also wondering if there's anything we can do in the meantime!

I'm sorry to here that. I hope some one can help you two out too.

Fertility wouldn't be an issue for John and I. So at least that's something... though I'm not sure he would want to commit to medication non-the-less.

[cjk]

John (aka SO) does keep a ginger beard with very nice lines and has since I have met him. He also has very nice brows.

...

I just want him to feel good. You know?

In that case, have him put in a membership request over at my group. Let me know it's him, include "cjk" or something. I'll make sure that he gets approved.

We can be very encouraging. Also somewhat slapstick and a few other things. As the weather gets warmer, though, I hope he isn't offended by bare chests.

Bald doesn't have to be forever. It doesn't even have to be because of hair loss, shaved bald-by-choice is just a hairstyle.

And it happens to be a really cool style.

[lapushka]

Have you considered (I know it's difficult times right now) visiting a dermatologist? They could confirm if it is indeed alopecia or if it's something out of whack with his hormones or something of that nature.

I would tell him to be gentle (pat pat pat) with a hair towel, and do try and minimize the mechanical manipulation. I know the massages may feel nice, but I don't think overstimulating the area would be a great thing (personal opinion).

I hope you get answers soon.

I hear great things about castor oil for edges, and baby hairs, so... could try and massage with that if you still want to do those.

[ynne]

Have you considered (I know it's difficult times right now) visiting a dermatologist? They could confirm if it is indeed alopecia or if it's something out of whack with his hormones or something of that nature.

I would tell him to be gentle (pat pat pat) with a hair towel, and do try and minimize the mechanical manipulation. I know the massages may feel nice, but I don't think overstimulating the area would be a great thing (personal opinion).

I hope you get answers soon.

I hear great things about castor oil for edges, and baby hairs, so... could try and massage with that if you still want to do those.

I've heard that about castor oil too, there are some youtube videos on that, I think I saw a lady in upper 3s or low 4s use it. Might be worth a try for the massages!

And seconding the suggestion to teach him a few ways to be more gentle with his hair, and perhaps look into other ways to keep his hands busy? It can be as simple as a pen to play with, a bracelet/watch to twirl, I don't know what would work for him personally. But since it's already an issue that causes him stress, minimizing the additional mechanical damage could at least help him feel like he's doing all he can, maybe? And to help keep the hair that is there.