Post Breakup Hair

[HintOfMint]

I broke up with my SO. He forced my hand, really. So while I technically ended things, I'm still thinking of him, eating cheese (or nothing), and sobbing while watching Louie on Netflix. We were even going to watch the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight together, but that's not happening...
The normal thing to do after a breakup is a pixie cut or color change. That's not really my style, and I think some/many/most people on LHC feel the same.

So here I am, post-breakup, solidly without any romantic prospects on the horizon, and oddly enough, not interested in changing my situation. At the risk of feeling and acting like a cliche, I'm... ugh... going to take some time to focus on me. On top of reading, brushing up on my Spanish and various internal BS to fill that yawning abyss within me, I'm also going to do various soothing nonsense to my appearance. Including my hair.

First on my list is a haircut. My hair looks like a blunt mess with some floppy, mushroom-like, grown-out bangs on top. Long layers are in order so I can finally wear my hair down without feeling disappointed. Then I will sit with a nice cup of coffee and my scissors for a much needed S&D for anything the haircut missed. And then hopefully by the end of my third SMT with avocado I will be less of a sad sack of romantic disappointment, searing loneliness and cheese.

So... What do y'all do with your appearance/hair after a breakup, if anything? Does spa-like pampering make you feel better or is that just time?

[Bossa Nova]

I'm sorry

I think one should do what is necessary to get by as intact as possible. Self pampering and keeping up appearances is fine, especially added with adopting a "See, I obviously have a lot more fun withou you" attitude (look where that got Duchess Kate and she didn't even have to cut her hair) if one can muster it. Sometimes introspection and praying/asking the universe kindly for help and support is best and it won't hurt to have really soft, shiny long hair while doing it.

[Seventy7]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Lots of hugs and love from me. Here are some flowers for you.

In the old days, when I didn't care too much about growing, I have cut back to a short bob, dyed red or aubergine. Such a cliché, but it was good, back then.
Now I hope I don't get to that place anymore, so I wouldn't know what I'd do.

Spa-like pampering will not fix everything, I'm afraid. That will likely just take time. But in the meantime it can make you feel pretty and good about yourself. It also gives some nice time to not think about anything too much and not having to do much.

Enjoy pampering yourself. Feel good about yourself. You're worth that.
Enjoying little things and feeling good in your skin, does help with getting over it. Focus on the good things you have and the things you don't have might be of less importance.

I hope you're really happy with your haircut and updated, moisturised hair.

[gwenalyn]

Pampering is great I know you said a color change isn't your thing, but you could experiment with non-permanent veggie dyes (not red). Make sure you include social activities in the next few weeks! Maybe a Spanish discussion group, to go along with your Spanish studying?

[cat11]

mmmmmmm nothing. Maybe deep condition. Whats breakup got to do with hair anyway

[Quixii]

I didn't do anything with my hair post-breakup. It was long before him and I still wanted it long after him, so I didn't see a reason to do anything drastic. I think I did keep it in the same messy bun for the first couple days, though.
I didn't really do any of the stereotypical things, except eat some chocolate fro-yo and cry a lot. I didn't see any reason to change me just because he decided he didn't want it anymore. I still like(d) who I am.

[schnibbles]

Nothing wrong with feeling the way you are right now, we've all been there at one point or another.
Long layers sound like a great idea. I wish I had blended in my growing-out bangs when they were at their most ridiculous-looking. I just suffered through it and that was dumb. Wear your hair down for awhile, enjoy it and feel feminine (if you're into that)

There ain't nothin a good cheese can't cure...

[-Fern]

I would recommend holding off on any cutting... pampering, SMT's, S&D are all great ideas, though!! I think the only thing I did post-breakup was throw my straightening iron out. He never even said he liked my hair straight, but for some reason I had it in my head that he liked it that way, so I was probably doing all sorts of damage to my hair for nothing.

Oh, well. That chapter of your life is closed (whether for better or worse, or whatever). Now you have this awesome opportunity to start writing the next chapter! It can hurt like hell. And sometimes the blank pages are intimidating. But keep moving forward.

And cheese is absolutely the correct way to proceed right now.

[meteor]

Hugs to you, HintOfMint!

I didn't even know that "the normal thing to do after a breakup is a pixie cut or color change"? Sounds like a recipe for potential regret later, no?

Personally, I find it helpful that after any big loss, I don't want to do anything at all to my hair or even see it, so I keep it in the same simple bun all the time, I detangle just enough to avoid matting and wash just enough to look presentable in public... so benign neglect to the max... Until I feel much better and can consider other options rationally with no emotional stuff factoring in.

I think in general, I'd recommend staying away from any rash decisions (like new permanent dye jobs, new cuts, etc.), when under big stress or when recovering from a loss.
But doing hair masks, deep treatments and other forms of pampering / spa-like experience is probably a great thing to do at this time, as it's very grounding activity, slow, calming and is a great part of self-care.

Hugs to you! I hope you'll feel much better soon!

[lapushka]

Just don't do anything too too drastic, even though it might be tempting. Take a few days to calm down and don't act on impulse. Leave your hair alone, if possible, for a few weeks, and *think* about it!