Why are you asking trans people to out themselves when they join the forum?

[EdG]

Almost so much so you could be called lugubrious and lachrymose.

I will crank the silliness up a notch.
Ed

[PraiseCheeses]

I think the fill-in-the-blank option would be great! However, I have to argue against the Cheese thing... I've read this forum off and on for years and never saw the term explained until this particular thread. When I saw it was a gender option, I was confused, and I'd like to think I'm at least moderately intelligent.

As far as the issue of getting offended on behalf of others... it's less getting offended and more about supporting something we are passionate about. If this thread were instead about requiring us to define ourselves by our race, and the only options were Black, White, and Other, there'd be people raising concerns as well. Sure, some people who fall under the "other" category would be just fine identifying as such, but others would not appreciate the terminology. Sure, they could answer falsely, or just pick something at random. But when you're passionate about social justice and equality for all no matter how they identify, you usually see that kind of marginalization as a symptom of a much bigger issue in society.
In general, I think people's identities should be defined by themselves rather than by others who only have outward appearances to go off of. It might seem small, but being able to define yourself on your online profiles in a way which is meaningful and true to you is a BIG thing when historically and even currently you are discriminated against for who you are. A person's gender really ought to have very little to do with how others interact with them, just like race, socio-economic status, age, physical ability, etc. We all want to be treated equally and fairly so we ought to support changes that make that possible for everyone.

This has been a really interesting discussion. I consider myself someone who cares a great deal for social justice in matters of gender identity and sexuality, so I've been following this thread. I agree wholeheartedly with your first sentence - we should determine and express our own identities. Personally, I have observed this forum to be very open and welcoming to those members with non-mainstream identities and preferences, and my heart was warmed by the varieties of options offered for selection. Members are allowed to fully express their identities in their profiles ("About Me") and in their posts, and the only time I can recall any member getting flak for their sexuality on the boards, the member making negative comments was banned as a result. (Of course, this doesn't mean it hasn't happened before or since. But the overwhelming majority of interactions I've seen have been very positive.)

I'm sorry if this is derailing the thread a bit, but I'm curious as to others' thoughts about this statement: "A person's gender really ought to have very little to do with how others interact with them, just like race, socio-economic status, age, physical ability, etc. We all want to be treated equally and fairly so we ought to support changes that make that possible for everyone." I'd LOVE to see English standardize a gender-neutral third person pronoun, but my instinct was to think, "But 'equal' and 'the same' is not always 'fair'!" A good way to interact with me might not be a good way to interact with someone else. Different genders, different races and cultures, different socioeconomic backgrounds have different experiences, different histories, and therefore different needs. Heck, every individual PERSON has different needs. The real problems are when people start asserting superiority or denying basic rights based on race, gender, etc.

I'll do my absolute best to treat every person as they want to be treated, but I'm not psychic and so unless the person tells me how they identify and what they prefer, chances are I'll refer to them as how they are presenting. I do get frustrated when I occasionally run into the individual who is deliberately presenting as overtly female who then gets angry and tells me that they are male after I refer to them with a feminine pronoun - just like any other issue, there'll be people who just want conflict. I've found that most people are understanding if their gender is unclear and I use the wrong pronoun. I know it's small potatoes compared to the issues faced by genderqueer folks, but I do get mistaken for male when I'm in full cycling rain gear and you can't see my body or my hair. I'm amused that people get embarrassed by the mistake - it's such an easy mistake to make! I'm less amused that drivers are much more dangerously aggressive when they think I'm male. (The point of that anecdote is in no way meant to be a complaint - more observations of "people react to different genders in different ways" and "it's really easy to correct someone who makes a logical mistake.")

I hope I haven't offended anyone with my opinions - as a cis-gendered straight female, I know there are things I can never hope to truly understand. EdG and truepeacenik can now continue their regularly scheduled silliness. :-p

[FrayedFire]

Not everyone has surgery to change their body. There's basically a big scale and transition period that transgender covers - identifying as another gender, trying to appear as another gender, taking hormones to take on characteristics of another gender, having surgery to be another gender, being legally and physically another gender, etc.

That and the surgeries aren't perfect. Bottom surgery gives you a neopenis or a neovagina, which look and function, and have to be cared for differently than birth-genetalia.

I think part of it may also be to denote the difference in experiences. A transwoman will have different experiences and struggles than a woman, which should be respected.

You can't please everyone.

[lapushka]

A famous news-journalist of the channel VTM (Vlaamse TV Maatschappij / Flemisch TV Company) has outed himself as transgender in Belgium (Flanders). Boudewijn van Spilbeeck, which is now Bo van Spilbeeck. Before and after:
https://nos.nl/data/image/2018/01/30/447606/xxl.jpg

I thought this was a moving story and he said he waited until the times were "right". Which is sad in a way.

[Chromis]

This thread was last posted to four years ago folks. Also, this is in site support, not the friendship forum.

I am going to close this thread since the issue has been discussed and the forum software has not yet changed to allow for more options than we currently have.

Please identify yourself as you wish to be identified and remember that cheese is always an option! We love cheese and we love you too.