Howdy--Looking to Maintain Long Hair

**shelomit** · November 19th, 2019, 10:56 AM

Greetings to everyone here!

I've had long hair since childhood, currently around mid-thigh. I keep one especially slow-growing lock at the side of my head trimmed to chin-length or so, but I don't think the bulk of my hair has been shorter than that tailbone-length in about eighteen years. Over the past few years, though, that dreaded Real Life has been pretty wild and I have not been at all diligent in caring for my hair. I'm looking for support as I work to improve/maintain my hair health at its current length.

My mother's hair is 1a, my dad's is 4b, and mine is "cantankerous"--lots and lots and lots of body, but very fine strands. The weight pulls a lot of the curl out and makes it (in my opinion) more manageable, but if I cut it shorter it bounces back to a 3b or c depending on humidity. Even in the desert, where I am now, I have to deal with a lot of frizz. In the past I haven't had a lot of luck with oil treatments, so I'd be eager for other suggestions for keeping frizz down (or different oil-based techniques).

I think that one of my biggest problems right now is that I keep my hair braided or in a bun almost all the time, and I notice a lot of breakage right at the nape where the hairstyle is placed. If I try to vary where I "hinge" the braid/bun, I have trouble with sore scalp and more occasionally with headaches.

My hair has also been hennaed for most of my life. (My family is North African--I'm happy to share about our henna traditions if anybody is interested!) Currently I'm generally applying henna about every four to six months. I used to have my mother do it whenever I visited my parents, but she is not very gentle and I always had a lot of lost hair in the week or so after application. I've been practicing self-applying and have successfully gentled down my method a little from what I'm used to.

I should also mention that I wear a headcovering for religious/cultural reasons when I am out and about. Sometimes I wear a headscarf completely covering my bun, at other times covering just the pate with a braid sticking out underneath, very occasionally hats. In combination with the frizziness, I've found that this produces some damage at the crown of the head. If there are any other headcoverers on here, I'd be excited to trade experiences/tips!

**shelomit** · November 19th, 2019, 12:03 PM

Adding some photos (hopefully)--

A couple of recent-ish photos showing about how much hair I have:

An older photo, from a time when I was having wayyy fewer problems with frizziness:

One of the handful of times I've had it ~styled~ (you can really see the frizz here):

And some of the ways I typically wear it with my headscarf:

**lapushka** · November 19th, 2019, 12:26 PM

Originally Posted by shelomit

My mother's hair is 1a, my dad's is 4b, and mine is "cantankerous"--lots and lots and lots of body, but very fine strands. The weight pulls a lot of the curl out and makes it (in my opinion) more manageable, but if I cut it shorter it bounces back to a 3b or c depending on humidity. Even in the desert, where I am now, I have to deal with a lot of frizz. In the past I haven't had a lot of luck with oil treatments, so I'd be eager for other suggestions for keeping frizz down (or different oil-based techniques).

Check out the link in my signature to rinse-out oil. I typically only apply about 15 drops to the very ends of my hair. But people with tighter textures (type 4) do oil rinse their scalp, but that's not for everyone, most of us on this board in fact.

**shelomit** · November 19th, 2019, 03:37 PM

Originally Posted by lapushka

Check out the link in my signature to rinse-out oil. I typically only apply about 15 drops to the very ends of my hair.

Thank you, lapushka! Today happens to be washing day, so I tried this (avocado oil). I'll be interested to see how it handles tomorrow/later in the week! I used to live in the desert Southwest and recently (~3 months ago) moved back there after a long time spent in the smuggy South. I was astonished that the frizziness was still so bad when the ambient humidity hovers around 20-30%! Definitely not my previous experience living in the desert.

**0xalis** · November 19th, 2019, 04:08 PM

Welcome! Beautiful hair! I hope you find lots of juicy info that helps you here

**shelomit** · November 19th, 2019, 04:09 PM

Originally Posted by 0xalis

Welcome! Beautiful hair! I hope you find lots of juicy info that helps you here

Thanks so much, 0xalis! I've been lurking for a couple weeks and already found a lot of useful advice.

**lapushka** · November 19th, 2019, 04:23 PM

Originally Posted by shelomit

Thank you, lapushka! Today happens to be washing day, so I tried this (avocado oil). I'll be interested to see how it handles tomorrow/later in the week! I used to live in the desert Southwest and recently (~3 months ago) moved back there after a long time spent in the smuggy South. I was astonished that the frizziness was still so bad when the ambient humidity hovers around 20-30%! Definitely not my previous experience living in the desert.

For me with just 15 drops on the last 6/8 inches of my hair, it stays moisturized throughout the week (I weekly wash). It works for me, but I'll be interested to see how you fare!

**shelomit** · November 19th, 2019, 04:32 PM

Originally Posted by lapushka

For me with just 15 drops on the last 6/8 inches of my hair, it stays moisturized throughout the week (I weekly wash).

Currently I'm also washing weekly (though in other climates I've had to do twice or even three times a week). I see that your understanding of "tips" was a bit more liberal than mine--I applied on maybe the bottom three inches or so. About half-dry now, will report back later!

**lapushka** · November 19th, 2019, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by shelomit

Currently I'm also washing weekly (though in other climates I've had to do twice or even three times a week). I see that your understanding of "tips" was a bit more liberal than mine--I applied on maybe the bottom three inches or so. About half-dry now, will report back later!

Oh that's great. Last 3 inches is great to start with, best always start a little conservatively!

**Dark40** · November 20th, 2019, 10:29 AM

Originally Posted by shelomit

Adding some photos (hopefully)--

A couple of recent-ish photos showing about how much hair I have:

An older photo, from a time when I was having wayyy fewer problems with frizziness:

One of the handful of times I've had it ~styled~ (you can really see the frizz here):

And some of the ways I typically wear it with my headscarf:

Welcome! Beautiful hair! I also love that hair color too! You know, mid-thigh length is my goal. I had said when I first joined here at the LHC that my long term goal was mid-thigh length but now I'm thinking about seeing how long it will grow. Who knows? It might be able to grow a lot longer. That's why I put in my profile, "Terminal Length." That can mean anywhere. But I always wanted mid-thigh length. Because, I always thought that it was nice and beautiful length to maintain the hair at, and it seems more manageable at that length.