Need help and advice on miserable hair Pleeeease!!!

[starshade]

Hello everyone! So I've been a member here for a few years now, but got kind of busy with work and life, so never really became a regular. I continued with the whole hair growing journey in the meantime though.
My hair was initially damaged from some dying and heat tools, but I stopped with that, started using henna and taking care of it while figuring out what worked. I managed to get my hair back to being fairly healthy. For most of 2013 I trimmed away the damage, so didn't have any length gains, but didn't mind that. Thanks to all the amazing advice here, my hair was really starting to look good and had gained in thickness too.
But then around July- September last year, I had a really bad shed. My ponytail thickness went down from around 4" to less than 2.5", and the ends of my hair particularly started to look extremely thin. Since I didn't have much choice, I continued to trim sometimes taking off 2.5-3" at a time. So essentially my hair has remained between BSL and WL for over 2 years now. My hair does tend to shed easily if I'm not careful, as well as being quite fine and compressing a lot to look even thinner. Even after a year I've only gone back to around 3.25" thickness at the very top of my ponytail and the ends still look straggly and pathetic.

I basically got sick of being at the same length for what felt like forever and thought I would grow out to hip and then maintain, but seeing how it looks these days, I'm not sure I wouldn't be happier just doing a big trim and getting rid of most of those straggly ends. My hair looks miserable when left open, braids look terrible as the last 6" gets super-thin. An english braid is bad enough, but anything with french/dutch braids seems to look even worse. Any updos look sad as well, as there just isn't enough hair for them to look halfway good. Also I have a wide face and updos look terrible on me anyway. All in all it doesn't even 'feel' long despite being 28" now, because the lower half is so see-through.

So here's my 1st question... Looking at my pics below, does it make sense to chop off around 3-4" so my hemline immediately looks better or should I just keep plodding along the way I am now and maybe micro-trimming now and then. I'm guessing, it will take a minimum of another year, maybe much more, for my thickness to catch up to a decent length. The good news is that my hair grows a bit faster than average- 3/4- 1" a month.
My 2nd question is that my hair seems much finer and limper than before- could it be lack of protein? Would that help with getting some volume back? I have done the occasional gelatine treatment but not sure if it made much difference or how often I should be doing it

Thanks in advance! Looking forward to your replies.

before pic- taken around Jan 2012
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After pic- taken this month
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[lapushka]

Did you see a doctor when you went from 4 to 2 and a bit in circumference? Because that is alarming and sounds as though you might be lacking in some essential nutrients. I'd still get bloodwork done, if it were up to me.

I would microtrim. It doesn't look bad at all, just like fairytale ends a bit. No need to take a huge chunk of it off.

[starshade]

Thank you for your reply lapushka, unfortunately I didn't go to a doctor then. And I know the shed was caused due to a prolonged period of stress, insomnia and not eating properly at the time. It did get better after that, once I got back to a good diet and routine. I've only had slightly more shedding than usual again last month due to it being monsoon season here with high heat and humidity with lots of rainy days, so it's more like a seasonal thing. Right now though, the problem's under control, and my hair does seem to be regaining it's original thickness slowly.
I haven't yet decided whether to start micro-trimming as I've been feeling frustrated with the lack of progress and what looks like a regression instead of improvement in my hair journey. I know this is not something that can resolve itself overnight of course, but I'm just trying to figure the best option. While I love fairy tail ends on others, I don't like them as much on myself, or maybe it would look better if my hair was significantly longer.

[lapushka]

Honestly, it doesn't look bad. And I'm not just trying to make you feel better, I really feel that way. Your curls are gorgeous! Maybe trim a larger bit off than your growth every month?

[lilin]

It's really up to you and what makes you most comfortable. Your hair does look nice, and it doesn't necessarily need to be cut. But if it's making you so self-conscious, you have to weigh whether you'd be happier with more length, or with a thicker hemline.

If you keep it, the only thing I'd say is to baby those ends. My experience, when my hair was layered, is that the less dense ends were more prone to damage because they didn't have as many of their buddies protecting them. Splits can travel up the hair shaft, so do keep on eye on that.

[missmelaniem]

You need to do what makes you happy, but since youve pinpointed the reason for the shed I wouldnt go trim-happy. It seems like it would be best to just give it some time. If you want, maybe just trim whatever new growth you have every month till you regain your overall thickness?

If it were me thats what I would do.

[spidermom]

I don't think it looks bad either. What you do depends on what you want. If you need a change, go ahead and cut it back. If you still want long hair, keep up with small trims.

[Deborah]

Is your hair cut in layers? If so, maybe just trim off a couple of inches now and then and let the layers catch up.

[starshade]

Thanks everyone for your replies and kind words.
spidermom I think it's a case of being one's own harshest critic, as well as being used to seeing myself with more thickness. Also, I live in Bangalore (India) where literally every second girl I see has the whole South-Indian gene thing going on with super-thick long hair, and mine looks like a little rat's tail in comparison! But obviously, it doesn't make sense to compare with every random person I see on the street or otherwise. No one would ever be happy at that rate!

missmelaniem I think you're right, I'll probably regret having a huge chop, trimming off some or all the growth gradually may be a better route to go, and hopefully at the rate I grow it won't be that long before the thickness travels down a decent amount.

lilin I have noticed that as well, about the ends needing more protection. I'm a frequent oiler and don't leave my hair down much so hopefully that should be fine.

Deborah my hair is not cut in layers any more, but because of the huge shed I had last year the new hairs have only grown in to about 1/3- 1/2 the length, so the bottom half of my hair still looks thin.

I guess I just needed some perspective, and usually everyone here is pretty sensible and understands 'hair issues' the way friends in real life don't!

[Anje]

As someone whose hair isn't as thick as yours is now, I really don't think it looks bad. Your curls are well-clumped, which is going to open up space between them where your clothes show through. (I'm sure if you were to leave it without any leave-ins and brush out the curls once your hair was dry, your hair would be a LOT less see-through. And a fluffy cloud. ) Besides, if you had a bad shed only last year, I'd only expect the top couple inches to be thickened up yet, and probably much of it still doesn't reach a ponytail. These things take a lot of time to resolve, unfortunately. Personally, I'd still suggest that you get a doctor to check you out, maybe make sure that your iron levels and thyroid are OK, as those are two common culprits for big sheds.

Whether you trim is really up to you. If your hair is in the process of thickening up, the fairytaling could be really cool as it gets longer. I don't think it looks bad as it currently is.

I don't have a lot to suggest with the limpness, because my hair's quite different from yours in texture. Some of it is that the curl has gone out? I think the best thing to do would be to see how much it stretches when wet. If an individual hair stretches a LOT and doesn't rebound from a smaller stretch, protein's what you want. If it doesn't stretch much at all before breaking, maybe you need to do more moisturizing. (Think humectants. Oils are good for holding it in, but they don't moisturize in that way.)