how to handle hair advice

[burny]

A few times lately, someone has approached me and started a conversation about hair. Which some how leads to them giving me tips on what brand of combs, conditioner, etc. to use. I think my hair is evidence that I know how to take care if it and "have you tried using a brush instead of a comb" isn't rocket science. I always figured that at the least, when I acknowledge that I have done the things they are suggesting, that they would give it a rest, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

How can I avoid this without being rude/insulting? Honesty doesn't seem to work well.

[Corvana]

You could do what I always did about unsolicited parenting advice: Smile and nod, take what you want from it and then discard the rest.

[leayellena]

How can I avoid this without being rude/insulting? Honesty doesn't seem to work well.

I´d be crazy as$ insulting. I´d say somethin g mean about the short rag they hang on their head. lol
no, just don´t waste your time with idiots.
or you could actually explain some scinenc-y stuff they´d look at you like you´d been an alien.

[Kat]

Can you change the subject? And just keep talking over them until they give up? (Assuming it's not an option to say "oh look at the time!" or fake a phone call or something in order to walk away.) Or, you could always talk over them with detailed explanations of your hair care routines/goals (feel free to also mention others' routines and goals in order to compare/contrast) until they get glassy-eyed and stop/go away themselves.

Or, in keeping with the above, offer THEM hair care advice.

[Nini]

I'm sure they mean well, smile and say thanks for the suggestions.

[GalaMoon]

A lot of people don't know about the things we've learned on here, and when they do find out, it's such a revelation to them, that they feel the need to share it to everyone (I'm guilty of that). Most of the times, they mean well, you could tell them more hair care tips that you know. Of course, you do get the "know it all" people telling you stuff sometimes, but it's a waste of time to argue with them, just smile and thank them for the advice, tell them you will try it later.
If they try to sell you stuff, just say you're short on money at the moment, it never failed for me.
You can't go wrong with a little diplomacy, plus why waste your energy on negative things?

[Siv]

This doesn't bother me much tbh. I try to see it as an opportunity, and turn it around and start an in-depth discussion about hair care, because I don't know any people IRL who are really into it, and I like those kinds of conversations. Sometimes they realise where I'm coming from, sometimes they still try to promote their own type of hair care, but with a little bit of weedling I can usually make them see my point of view. I enjoy that type of discussion, but of course, not everyone does so this might not be the best advice for you if you just want them off your back

Anyway, an example: Most people I know IRL who are into haircare are also into colouring, heat styling, "non-sulphate" colour care expensive shampoos, and heat protectant etc. If they try to give me advice along those lines I try to explain that I do "REALLY long hair care" rather than "styling hair care" and explain the differences - and if they still try to promote sulphate free or whatever anyway, I explain all about why silicones work really well for me, and the pre-pooing I do to counteract the damaging effects of sulphates, for example.

If I don't have time for a hair care discussion, I usually smile, nod, and try to remind myself that most people only know about hair care promoted by big companies trying to make money, and these companies also promote trends like colouring, paddle brushes, etc. which create vicious circles where you e.g. need specific products to maintain your colour, or products to help your split ends when you paddle-brush the life out of your hair simply because it's so much easier - but more damaging - to do that than spend a bit of extra time combing. Also, a lot of brushes, products, etc. are gentle enough that your hair looks nice at BSL or shorter, but for longer hair they are way too damaging in the long run, and this seems really difficult for people to really understand unless they have at least some knowledge about "long hair care".

In conclusion, when I get unsolicited hair advice like "have you tried using a brush?" I remind myself that they don't know my hair and my goals, and they're probably just trying to give me advice based on what works for them, not realising that different hairs can be super different in their needs. Then, I try to decide whether I have time enough to start up a conversation about it!

[Kat]

I've luckily never had to deal with this much, but I think if I did, I might just be completely honest: "I've been growing my hair for pretty much half of my life now-- that's nearly 20 years-- do you suppose I've figured out by this time what works and doesn't work for my hair?" I mean, there will always be the people who don't agree-- they're the same ones that will try to tell you what you think, and dismiss when you tell them what you, the person actually inside your head, really think-- but maybe it would work on some people. (And if not, I'd fall back to my ideas above.)

[lapushka]

Just tell them "thank you for the suggestions" and then do exactly what you want. The fact that they're giving you advice is nice in itself, but if it is wrong advice, I wouldn't much listen. But I wouldn't confront them because that would lead to something entirely different. Just be cool about it.

That's what I would do.

I sometimes get into it with my aunt, who definitely thinks she knows better (because this and that is what she heard you should do). Sometimes she's right but other times... I just let her talk and smile. Because going in against her is... something else! LOL

[spidermom]

I usually let people talk and do my best to be a good listener. It's a rude world out there; I don't want to add to it.