It's not "old or antique lace"?

[lapushka]

It is a comment oft made on these forums. Treat your hair like "old lace" or "antique lace". But do we really?

I wonder.

This thread sprouted as part of a discussion we just very recently had on the "Raponsje" forum, our Belgian/Dutch hair forum.

Who here treats their hair like "hair", just hair and nothing more. Dead material that grows out the scalp and just happens to be there, just a lot of it.

Who here likes to enjoy their hair, and doesn't always adhere to all "the rules"?

I have to say I don't.

I weekly wash. I diffuse weekly. I wear my hair down to sleep. Yes, I do have a microfiber pillow case, but that is just because I happen to *love* the bedding (so easy in the wash). If I didn't love it so much, I bet I would still sleep on cotton. Oops, there, I said it.


So, do you follow the rules, or are you a rule breaker?

[Ylva]

I wear my hair down (in a braid) a lot like I always have. I'm careful enough with it but I don't go to any crazy measures. It's just common sense to me not to rub it with a towel etc but at the same time it's not super serious.

[lapushka]

I wear my hair down (in a braid) a lot like I always have. I'm careful enough with it but I don't go to any crazy measures. It's just common sense to me not to rub it with a towel etc but at the same time it's not super serious.

That is my attitude as well, Ylva!

[jane_marie]

I don't flat iron or use heat so that I don't hurt it but other than that I just try to live my best life. I sleep with it down, wear it down about 1/3 of the time in the day, and split the rest of the time between braids and buns.

I do want to grow my hair out longer but at this point in my life I only want to grow it to whatever length it can get to while not being an inconvenience. I want my hair to fit my lifestyle instead of me needing to transform my lifestyle to the needs of my hair.

[Deborah]

All the saying means is to handle your hair gently, not to rip roughly through it with a brush or comb, etc. It was never about 'rules.'

[cjk]

All the saying means is to handle your hair gently, not to rip roughly through it with a brush or comb, etc. It was never about 'rules.'

It's not so much the literal meaning, with which I agree by the way, but the implication.

So often we read about people who don't just treat their hair gently. They don't just baby it. They go almost off the deep end.

My answer to Lapushka is simple. Each of us should do what works. My own scalp and hair do not get oily, I could literally go a month without even a wash. Others are a greasy mess in a day. Some need aggressive exfoliation, others not so much.

There was an interesting video posted, about a "pro" washing hair while rather aggressively scrubbing the scalp.

[MusicalSpoons]

Well, lace can be surprisingly durable and resilient! Obviously antique lace should be handled more carefully because the fibres could have become more brittle with age, but lace was made to be worn and washed - and heck, if it were only worn once or twice after all that work put into making it, it would be a crying shame.

I treat my hair reasonably carefully because the ends are thin enough as it is so I don't want to lose any hair unnecessarily to breakage or damage over time. However, I'm sure I could be more careful and delicate with it if I had the energy and patience - I'm on the careful side of the handling spectrum, but not all the way at the super-careful end. The careful, protective parts of my routine are just that, though: routine. Beyond the initial effort of incorporating them into my routine, it's not really anything I have to go out of my way to do. The only thing that requires a bit of extra effort for me is careful detangling, and there is room for improvement there I have to admit.

In terms of styles, buns are far more practical for me than anything else. I would like to enjoy occasionally wearing a braid but it is SO damaging I can only bring myself to do that maybe once or twice a year. I think even wearing it in a ponytail might be less damaging than a braid! Other than that ... even my pickiness about shampoo was because of my scalp, not my hair.

[jane_marie]

All the saying means is to handle your hair gently, not to rip roughly through it with a brush or comb, etc. It was never about 'rules.'

The interesting thing about language is that humans place their own individual meaning to what is being said or written. So, while you might think it means one thing that's not universally true. There are a lot of people on here who use that phrase and do have a set of rules.

What's true for you isn't true for others. We are all blind apes groping the different parts of the bewildered elephant.

...oh, I think that's my new signature...

[AmaryllisRed]

I do want to grow my hair out longer but at this point in my life I only want to grow it to whatever length it can get to while not being an inconvenience. I want my hair to fit my lifestyle instead of me needing to transform my lifestyle to the needs of my hair.

Yep, all this. If having long hair weren't easy, I wouldn't have long hair.

I don't know how I would treat antique lace. Probably put it in a box and forget about it. Substitute "bun" for "box" and that's how I treat my hair. Protect it from harm, but otherwise leave it alone.

[Kat]

I don't. I've tried following the rules in the past... damp buns, sulfate-free, attempting to file seams off my combs. Realized none of it was making much of a difference, stopped killing myself over it.