STRESS has my hair FALLING OUT. How can I stop it?

[Nadine <3]

In November my boyfriend was arrested. I don't want to go into detail here but basically he was on parole and one of his rules was he wasn't supposed to be in a romantic relationship. Well, he did...with me. His PO found out and they arrested him. He was a HUGE part of my life. I suffer from anxiety, but when I was with him I felt normal, he made me feel like everything was going to be okay. Anyways, when he got arrested my life fell apart, and because we weren't supposed to be dating me, none of his family knew we where. He has since told them and well, his mom seems to hate me... Anyways, this whole situation has been VERY, VERY stressful...theres so many bits an pieces to this situation and I don't care to go into them, but I've been taking it...not well. I have trouble eating some days, I'm always anxious, depressed.. About a month ago my hair started falling out. I would comb before a shower and a hairball would come out, a hairball would fall out in the shower, then again when I brushed after my shower, and if I run my fingers through it, I get even more hair. My hair is thin...thinner than my thumb! So it freaked me out. I went to the doctor and had blood tests, and the doctor said physically I was fine, and it was probably just stress and nothing they could do about it. So how can I make it stop?? I'm still going through the stress and I can only foresee it getting worse depending on how his court date goes. I don't want to loose my hair over this, I was just starting to like my hair again and now this. Anything I can do to help it??

[lapushka]

It's not "just" stress if you're depressed and not eating right. Make sure you eat well first. Do it for your own sake, and let the rest sort itself out (nothing you can do there anyway).

[Nini]

You'll have to find a way to handle your stress. If it's depression maybe you should look into counselling if that's an option. It's important to eat well, and a little physical excertion will probably only do you well too.

[embee]

Your first responsibility is to take care of *you*. The court will do whatever the court wants to do, not under your control. It may seem selfish, yet try to focus on things you can control: your diet, exercise, reading material, web-surfing, sleep pattern, working, the words you are saying to yourself in your mind. Your being a wreck is not going to help him.

It is not easy. Please remember that you are stronger than you feel.

[Firefox7275]

Find a way to manage the anxiety (easier said than done I know full well). Things that worked for me when combined, and backed by published research

- very low dose beta blockers on prescription. Cornerstone because it allowed me to eat and sleep somewhat. Few side effects, non addictive.
- daily physical activity, ideally intense several times a week. Releases happy hormones and can be a simple distraction from repetitive thoughts.
- EAT whether you want to or not. I found I could stomach saucey pasta but not drier sandwiches. Ideally an anti stress diet: nutrient rich especially long chain omega-3s and magnesium.
- stress management techniques anything from breathing to yoga.

[Kaelee]

I'm really disturbed that the court would order someone to break off a standing romantic relationship as a condition of parole (if I remember rightly, this is a long term relationship, NOT a 'fling'.) I'm assuming we're not talking about domestic abuse here.

I suggest talking to your doctor, and seeking out counseling. Both of those things can help on their own, but sometimes it's beneficial to hit it from both sides, so to speak. Also, make sure you're eating well, even if you have to force yourself.

[heidi w.]

This sounds terrible. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. The only way the stress will stop is if you Calm Down and Carry On. Why would you have a romance with a guy who is on parole and specifically told NOT to romance. I can't believe they'd rule that unless somehow it was involved with his crime. I think you could apologize, perhaps. That's a starting point. Eat well, particularly protein. Also consider exercise as that is often a stress reliever.
heidi w.

[Kaelee]

This sounds terrible. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. The only way the stress will stop is if you Calm Down and Carry On. Why would you have a romance with a guy who is on parole and specifically told NOT to romance. I can't believe they'd rule that unless somehow it was involved with his crime. I think you could apologize, perhaps. That's a starting point. Eat well, particularly protein. Also consider exercise as that is often a stress reliever.
heidi w.

their relationship predates his arrest, from what I remember of other posts, by a long shot.

I know if I were told I (or DF) could not be in a romantic relationship...seeing as I'm engaged to be married...I would have an unholy $hit fit and be in jail for something much worse as a result.

[Silverbrumby]

After doing a little research I am more worried about you emotionally than the hair loss even though that's probably not helping.

You need to see if your health fund will cover the cost of counseling. I think you need an independent source of comfort and advice. I would recommend turning to your family but I think they would find this hard to understand.

Find help, an advice line. If you love this fellow enough to want to be an asset in his life then first learn to understand and take care of yourself. Life if odd and my niece has the father of her child in prison. It's been a hard five years for her but she's pulled her life together and has a wonderful daughter and new career.

Good luck and best wishes.

[TiaKitty]

I'm sorry, girl.... I know it's hard!

You're getting good advice, and I just want to second or third the advice to do yoga. You can find poses online if you don't find videos! I suggest sun salutations, just because that's the easiest and my favorite. I love downward facing dog...