"You looked better when your hair was short"

[browneyedsusan]

I've gotten these opinions sometimes. I had a pixie for a lot of years, and that's what people were used to seeing. Plus, being older lady with hair down to her bottom doesn't exactly fit in with what's expected around here.

Too bad, so sad. As long as I'm not frightening small children with my appearance, what difference does it make? I LIKE IT. I'll wear my hair how I want. Others can wear their hair how THEY want.

[Aredhel]

My mom's said that to me many times but I pay her no mind. I've told her in response that I think she actually looks better with long hair.

[Sterlyn]

No words of wisdom exactly, just validation that you're not alone. After I cut my hair back to shoulder, my mother was raving about how much she loved it. I promptly informed her that I would be growing it back out again and she expressed her disdain for that "long hair look" or something to that affect.

I like my hair long and that's why I wear it that way, pretty much I try really hard to let everyone else's opinions of my choices roll right off my back. Doesn't always work but I try....

[_fred_]

I've been on the receiving end of that. Oddly enough, it's usually from the same people that have also said things like "Oh, why did you cut off all your lovely long hair?" and "I didn't like your colour how you had it before." And the gold standard: "Why don't you let your natural colour grow out?"

At least the people who say that are people I'm related to. It's easy to chalk it up to obliviousness.

[lapushka]

My Mom said this to me the other day when looking at my hair. I'm not upset but kind of just disappointed. Its like you work so hard to try and grow your hair, taking care of it, trying new methods, etc. and then people just say things like that. And the truth is she is right. I know I looked better with short hair. I looked younger and my face was framed better and I miss that. But I'm trying something new because its fun and exciting. And you know what I think I still look pretty good! (Plus on those days I miss my short I hair I just tuck it into my shirt or pin it up and presto you got short hair)


I just felt the need to share this. I know its kind of ranty . Have you ever experienced times like these? I'm sure many of you have.

You're at BSL, and maybe still going through some awkward stages growing, so maybe she was hinting on that? Awkward stages can be really tricky and "odd" to go through.

And it's not only about "how it looks", it is also about the maintenance. Short hair might be more difficult to care for, for all I know. It is for me.

[Chromis]

I have said this on many threads, but oftentimes, people just like to poke. That goes double for family! If it wasn't your hair, she would just be criticizing something else most likely.

[wispe]

I just recently posted about comments just like this getting me down about my hair. When that happens I gotta pep myself back up instead of dwelling on what others think. I think it's important to remember that you're under no obligation to present yourself in any way beyond what makes you, personally, comfortable and happy. So what if it's not as attractive or flattering in their opinion? You're more than a pretty sight for others to see, and your worth is not defined by how attractive you are to them. It's always a little hurtful when people remind me that I looked really good with my previous cut (shorter, more layered, bangs & always worn loose) in a way that implies I don't look as good now that I've changed it. They're right - that style is flattering on me, and easy to take care of, and I could easily go back to that if I wanted. But I don't want to, and I like my hair a lot at the length it is, and so far I've liked every length gain. I want to look good, yes - but I can look good with shorter hair and I can darn well look good with long hair, and the only person I need to please is myself.

It is also good (for me, at least) to remember that the people who make these comments are often not trying to be hurtful. What they see as an innocuous remark or friendly advice may hit harder, especially if we've got insecurities about those things already. Just keep on keepin' on and try not to take things too much to heart, if you can. I know I struggle to do this sometimes, but when I manage not to dwell on them I feel immensely better for it.

[pandabarrier]

My father used to say something similar, in another words. Whenever I got a bob haircut he would compliment and say that I looked younger, that I looked tired when I had longer hair (BSL). I never took his opinion negatively.

[pailin]

I have to agree with what Lapushka said about the awkward stages. While your hair is between shoulder and waist, there's a lot of those. But there will be a lot of styles to experiment with at different lengths, and you may well find that certain lengths suit you better than others. I think hip suits me now, and chin length really did too. But shoulder, APL, BSL- not so much. Too hard to wear down and look good, but updos were too tight.

[Reyn127]

My grandmother says things like that all the time, and not just to me but to anyone with hair longer than about armpit length. It is kind of discouraging to hear her say that, even if it's directed toward someone else. I just try to enjoy my hair regardless of what anyone else thinks. You could maybe cut in a few face framing layers if the way you look with long hair is really bothering you, but otherwise I would try to not let that get to you. In the meantime, keep playing around with sticking your hair in your neckline when you want a short hairstyle, getting an instant and reversible bob is always fun!