Being demoralised by slower growth

**Claireabelle123** · August 14th, 2018, 12:27 AM

A couple of months ago one of my friends got her hair cut. She doesn't actively care for it and straightens it everyday but it's always been longer than mine. So when she got it cut to shoulder length (mine was a few inches longer) I was like "yes finally, my hair will be longest" I know it sounds silly but it was great motivation knowing for once someone would consider mine longish compared to hers. Plus it would allow to sort of judge my growth seeing her.

I met her the other day... It's already longer!! She'd just washed it and hadn't straightened it yet.

Just wondering how other people stay motivated when people who don't look after their hair manage to overtake you in the hair growth. Or how not to become frustrated when your hair growth is a lot slower than others. I know everyone's hair growth is different but then you're taking supplements and actively DC and oiling your hair I just find it a bit demotivating. Does anyone else feel similar?

**LittleHealthy** · August 14th, 2018, 12:35 AM

YES. My best friend has straight, blonde hair like mine. Only thing is her hair is thick. Mine is fine. Hers has always been super long, she dyes it, curls it, chops it etc and it always resumes a long length within a year and always looks healthy. She doesn’t give haircare a thought! Lucky girl! I just use her as inspiration to better care for my own.

**Lady Stardust** · August 14th, 2018, 02:40 AM

I’d go crazy if I compared my hair to others. Mine doesn’t grow very fast and it’s not very thick, so I do my best to accept those limitations and set myself realistic goals. I’ve recently reached the first goal I set myself - collarbone length with a blunt fringe, as I love rockabilly events and styles. I love the over the top retro styles but I don’t have enough thickness at the sides to do them. Now that I’ve found a style that works for me, I enjoyed seeing all the lovely victory rolls I saw people wearing at a recent event, but I wasn’t envious, I was just pleased that my hair looked the part and was easy to do and didn’t require heat styling or hairspray.

Judging myself by someone else’s standards would just make me miserable. I do understand how you feel though. I remember when my brother’s hair overtook mine in length when we were teens, I was so annoyed! His is also thicker than mine with a lovely wave pattern so I just realised that I couldn’t compete with that and started to concentrate on what I had, rather than what I didn’t. There was a fair amount of grumbling and muttering before I got to that stage though

It’s fun to see what other people can do with their hair. My friends with fast growing hair can be quite reckless when trying out new styles because it won’t take long to grow out. There is a downside though - their styles go out of shape faster, roots need touching up all the time, and I hate to think how much maintenance a fringe would be!

**lapushka** · August 14th, 2018, 08:20 AM

If that's your mindset, honey, what will this forum do to you with all the ladies on here who have longer hair than you?

It is what it is, some people's hair grows slower than average. Average is 1/2 inch a month.

Happy growing (don't beat yourself up about it so much).

**Claireabelle123** · August 14th, 2018, 08:32 AM

Here everyone is in the same boat, we all want long hair sure, but hair health matters too.

I suppose there's a difference when it's someone you know and you see in reality compared to people and pictures you see on a screen. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing everyone's lovely hair on here, but it's with the understanding I don't know their hair journey, whereas when it's someone close to you and you see them not taking care of their hair but it growing like a machine it feels a little different

I dunno if I explained it right haha

**Messyhair** · August 14th, 2018, 08:44 AM

I have a friend whose hair grows an inch a month, and I'm fighting with 1/4" monthly. Sigh. It just inspires me to try out new things that could help boost my growth. Castor oil, Monistat, whatever!

**spidermom** · August 14th, 2018, 09:00 AM

I used to have feelings of envy about things like that but in my 60s I'm "meh". I don't know if I'd even notice.

**nycelle** · August 14th, 2018, 09:08 AM

Like @Lady Stardust, I'd go crazy if I compared myself to anyone else. Be it my hair, weight, career or whatever. My friends are my friends, and while once in a while their may be that twinge of jealousy (especially when it comes to bags and shoes), I don't generally let it get to me. They're my friends after all, and I try to stay positive and happy for them, and for my sanity.

***Wednesday*** · August 14th, 2018, 09:10 AM

I can’t speak for everyone here. Growing hair should not be a competition. That creates stress where it’s not even necessary. It is a hobby (for me) to be enjoyed for pleasure. Here, we all support one another, even when one decides to cut their half all off. We all check in to see everyone’s growth, see how everyone is doing and encourage. You should have fun. I have slow growing hair (1/4 maybe some months 1/2), but it’s growing.

Be patient is the only advise I can give. Wear it up and don’t keep looking at the length.

**OhSuzi** · August 14th, 2018, 09:41 AM

I secretly compete in my head against someone for longest hair - but not very seriously.
Hers does seem to grow much quicker, but she also bleaches and straightens and heat styles it a lot - so it might be a bit stretched and less good condition - thoughts that I only think to myself if having a bit of an insecure demotivated moment - but generally just accept her hair is hers, mine is mine and at the end of the day mine is the only hair to be bothered about.
Plus she'll get an exciting hair cut every now and again - which I actively encourage because I miss having hair cuts and they always look really nice on her - plus slowly slowly as I don't get mine cut it will eventually get permenantly longer than than most peoples!
...unless it reaches terminal....