extremely frustrated about my hair

[Cleopatra18]

Hey all, It has been very long since I posted. I just feel really bad about my hair. some of you may remember the drastic big chop I had back in february when my stylist cut off about 8 inches of hair after I asked for a trim. anyway, it left me with a little past BSL hair with a thick, full hemline. It was a drastic change but i was hoping atleast my hair would grow thick without the see through ends that i had before the cut. My hair has been growing fine and I did my best to maintain my ends in the same condition.
About 1.5 months ago I decided to straighten my hair at the salon and while my hair does look better, I was really frustrated to find that the ends are thining again. I don't know if this is taper but it doesn't look like it. My hair was supposed to be at its healthiest, completely damage free and that was the first time it was exposed to heat.
This is how it looked after it was straightened. Sadly the top is dark so it's a little difficult to see the ends but it's obvious on the sides.

but that's not the worst part. ever since i straightened my hair that day, i have been seeing alot of breakage. I do have some split ends but that's nothing new for my hair. I don't know why it's breaking like this. I have not changed anything in my routine which is pretty simple anyway. I do oil treatments 2x/week or so and wash it the next day. I am completely poo-free. I used to cowash then it didn't work during the summer because my hair was too greasy, so I switched to rhassoul clay washes about 4 months ago. I think it made my hair alot stronger and relatively reduced my shedding.
I just don't know what to do. I have been using moisturising deep conditioners but it's not getting better. I am so frustrated I can't believe I will end up where I was again. I have been on this forum for about two years and I am exactly where I originally started. How can I not do any progress in 2 years?? I always assumed that within two years I would have got the thick tailbone hair I always wanted but apparently not.
I am starting to believe that my hair will never get past waist. It grows perfectly fine untill it hits that point, after that it just crumbles and breaks and tangles and does everything it's not supposed to do.
I just feel like giving up. I have done so much for my hair and I am getting no results.

[FrozenBritannia]

Maybe you need to take a sanity break and try a few months of benign neglect, or do a hair up challenge? I think you might be at the length where i have heard mechanical damage gets a lot worse, from catching in things or rough chair backs and braid holders etc. do you sleep with your hair braided? Maybe try bunning it? Honestly i have no idea, havn't got that far with my own hair, but the only thing i know, is that if something isn't working, try something else. That and when it comes to hair, repitition is not always your friend.

[Kricket]

It might have to do with the weather too! I notice during the winter my hair gets a little dry and withery, so I'm more vigilant about the little stuff -- I don't get to spend a lot of time on my hair, but I'm more thorough about giving it a cold wash before I get out of the shower to seal the follicle better.

I don't know how most people do it, but I do a deep conditioner on dry hair. If you have oils and stuff available to you, you could mix your own or add stuff to a pre-made one. Dry hair absorbs the moisture from a deep conditioner better and I find it easier to coat my hair when it's not heavy and soaked with water. =) I get to do this only over summer and winter leave so I'll let that sit for as much time as I have. In the winter it's going to be harder for it to sink into your hair, so having a nice warm room will help. =)

Good luck and keep on chugging....

[Cleopatra18]

I already wear my hair up all the time. I will try using my heat cap more often now it's winter. I am pretty sure the weather has something to do with it because my hair just gets messed up with every change in season. I just hope it gets better soon.

[liloukc]

Is your hair breaking at about the same point on each strand? If so, you might think about whether there was a period of stress in your life at the time when that hair was being created. When our bodies are stressed, vitamins get shuffled off to support vital functions, and hair and skin won't be getting what they need for health!

A number of years ago I had a similar experience which I was relating to my hairdresser. She asked me what my life had been like about 2 years earlier (based on the part of my hair having trouble). Well, my father had died suddenly.

[spidermom]

I've got a similar issue. I want classic-length hair, but the one time my hair actually got that long, the ends were absolutely trashed. So my hair is back where it was 2 years ago, right about tailbone. Also, the ends have definitely thinned out in spite of trimming, although not enough that I have any right to complain. Some tapering is absolutely natural and to be expected.

Anyway - here I go making another run at classic length. I'll cross my fingers for both of us!

(Oh, and P.S. - my hair can't tolerate ANY straightening without exploding with damage. I thought maybe I could do it once or twice a year, but nope. Maybe your hair is the same.)

[Cleopatra18]

I've got a similar issue. I want classic-length hair, but the one time my hair actually got that long, the ends were absolutely trashed. So my hair is back where it was 2 years ago, right about tailbone. Also, the ends have definitely thinned out in spite of trimming, although not enough that I have any right to complain. Some tapering is absolutely natural and to be expected.

Anyway - here I go making another run at classic length. I'll cross my fingers for both of us!

(Oh, and P.S. - my hair can't tolerate ANY straightening without exploding with damage. I thought maybe I could do it once or twice a year, but nope. Maybe your hair is the same.)

Oh spidermom, my hair is so the same. I read on other forums that it can be safe to flat iron once or twice amonth without doing damage to the hair (along with proper conditioning etc) but i know my hair will never accept that. although I do think it has more to do with the stylist than the heat itself. everytime i go to the dresser it's a mess whether it is the evil rat tail comb they're obssesed with, or the round brush used with the blow dryer (this thing has the worst bristles ever), or the thousand passes she does with the flatiron... I don't know. I have also read somewhere about "bubble hair" where basically the water inside the hair evaporates in a certain spot which lifts the cuticles and causes mid shaft splits. I think this defintly happens with me because I rarely get splits on the very ends I always get them mid shaft out of nowhere anyway, I wish you best of luck with your situation as well even though it looks so gorgeous already.

[Cleopatra18]

Is your hair breaking at about the same point on each strand? If so, you might think about whether there was a period of stress in your life at the time when that hair was being created. When our bodies are stressed, vitamins get shuffled off to support vital functions, and hair and skin won't be getting what they need for health!

A number of years ago I had a similar experience which I was relating to my hairdresser. She asked me what my life had been like about 2 years earlier (based on the part of my hair having trouble). Well, my father had died suddenly.

I don't really know. most of them are either about 2 inches or 5-6 inches in length..it sucks :S I have had alot of drama in my life so I wouldn't be surprised if it's part of the reason. lol I consider myself lucky to have any hair at all considering the amount of stress I go through

[Hollyfire3]

Oh spidermom, my hair is so the same. I read on other forums that it can be safe to flat iron once or twice amonth without doing damage to the hair (along with proper conditioning etc) but i know my hair will never accept that. although I do think it has more to do with the stylist than the heat itself. everytime i go to the dresser it's a mess whether it is the evil rat tail comb they're obssesed with, or the round brush used with the blow dryer (this thing has the worst bristles ever), or the thousand passes she does with the flatiron... I don't know. I have also read somewhere about "bubble hair" where basically the water inside the hair evaporates in a certain spot which lifts the cuticles and causes mid shaft splits. I think this defintly happens with me because I rarely get splits on the very ends I always get them mid shaft out of nowhere anyway, I wish you best of luck with your situation as well even though it looks so gorgeous already.

My hair sounds just like both of yours, i used to straighten daily, and my hair thinned out so much, i thought i had actual thin hair. Now that i have stopped straightening, it has become, fuller, curlier, and unmanageable thick. But, i also have to trim it often to keep the ends thick. I always figued that having thick hair now, i would be able to not trim for months but, it turns out my ends become piecy, look bad and taper far too much without trims 6-8 weeks. I know this sounds excessive but, it does help the ends stay thick as it grows. You have to be willing to sacrifice a tiny bit of length for a nice, thick hemline, be patient, use lots of moisture (if your hair IS breaking off, it might need moisture,) It will all work out.

[jacqueline101]

My ends are dry right and in bad of shape. I done a search and destroy of my split ends. My hair would break the splits would break when I would comb. I done a coconut oil treatment today. I'm hoping this helps with the problems. It seems to help its only been a few days the shed has stopped. I had a hair dresser take off 6 inches of growth and I asked for a trim. I had it done to me on three different times. I switched hair dressers and shops.