Out of love with my hair

[RedRose]

Hi everyone,

I'm pretty new here, so here's my hair story/problem in brief. I've been dying (yes, eek! wish I'd never started) my hair for 5 years and now I want to stop. I want natural, healthy hair, even though I'm fairly sure I'm not going to *love* my natural colour. But my hair (naturally a dark blondeish, I have a LOT of hair and it's kinda patchy in colour....that was what started off the dying) was bright bright (blue)-red. So, I had it stripped (gently) and now what is left is mostly the colour of runny honey, with some very reddish parts around the front and the underneath. So my hair is patchy and stripey with the roots now starting to come through. It's a very 'warm' colour and I'm cool toned so it doesn't look great at all. It is also short (about shoulder lengthish). And frazzled and over processed and yuck. I have horrible, horrible hair. And it's really beginning to get me down, I just scrape it back every day and try to hide it, because it looks so hideous and frizzy.

So basically, I'd like some advice: I know growing my hair is going to just have to happen in its own time so there's nothing much I can do about that, but I'd really like to try and fade out as much of the remaining dye as possible to get it to a uniformish colour, hopefully as close to my natural as possible, and of course, get it in as good condition as I possibly can. I've been doing protein treatments and warm oil treatments, and to begin with (after the stripping) they seemed to help and make my hair feel better, but now it feels more like wire wool, kinda stiff and crunchy, than like hair. I think I have 2b/iii/m/c hair, oh and I never use heat, don't often use shampoo (and then it's diluted c-w-c), but i'm not sure if i use cones or not in my condish, atm it's a protein condish, and I use coconut oil on damp hair.

Thanks in advance

[Pegasus Marsters]

Perhaps you should go to a good salon to get the colour evened out? They know best what to do when it comes to dye

As for growing... give it time honey. My hair's about shoulder length and we have similar hairtypes and I abuse my hair way more than you do... your hair will be fantastic soon.

In the meantime, try deep treatments. They're always fun

[Kirin]

if your hair is feeling stiff, hard and like steel wool, it could very well be that you are overdoing the protein. No matter how good it is purported to be, some hair hates the stuff.

I would recommend first, before dealing with the color issues, to try and get your hair into a much better shape. If you must shampoo, find one without protein in it, its hard, but they are out there, and dillute it. Then condition, condition condition...... again with something without protein. Your hair sounds like its screaming for moisture.

I am not against chemical colors though I myself have ditched them after many years of use. The trick is to not fall into the trap of trying one thing right after another when results arent exactly what you want. Make sure to give your hair a break between processes, and give it extra love in the rest period.

If you haven't yet tried it I would also try oiling. I use carrot oil, many use coconut oil and other oils, jajoba, and many others. Oiling your ends lightly and using just a drop rubbed in her hands and smoothed through your hair after a shampoo can make a world of difference!

HTH and good luck with your hair journey.

[spidermom]

Based on reading lots of stories like yours, here is what I would recommend:
1) Continue wearing it pulled back. Try braiding ribbons into it or wrapping it in a scarf or wearing a ball-cap -- all great looks for summer. This totally hides dye damage and protects those fragile ends.
2) Use warm oil treatments in it.
3) Wash gently CWC style, with occasional full-strength shampoo for clarifying.
4) Get small, regular trims - like 1/4 or 1/2 inch every other month.

No more heat styling or dyeing or other chemical process.

Your hair will be terrific in 4-6 months; no lie.

[ChloeDharma]

I grew out chemical colour, luckily i grew out red chemical colour using henna which helped even it up at first but i did get a line as it grew down. I know henna is no use to you as you don't want the warm tones.
I hate to say it, but it can be really frustrating growing it out and seems to take forever.....but it does grow out quicker than we think really.
Other than the henna i did ALOT of heavy oilings and washed once or twice a week, making sure i did a DT every sunday and in time that helped the condition a huge amount.
I'd agree with switching from so much protein to more moisture treatments.....daily misting, SMT's etc. Also Pegs suggestion of getting your colour evened out by a colourist might help alot too, then you only really have condition to deal with as opposed to colour as well which just adds to the frustration.
I know it seems daunting at the moment, but hang in there and it will get better in time

[brok3nwings]

I agree with spidermom,
and i will again strongly advice you...
dont dye your hair again, even if you think your hair colour is not even or anything... it WILL make it worst, it will dye your virgin roots.
Yes, we all wish hair could grow faster but if you concentrate yourself into caring about it you will see results, you will see your hair grow. I think thats the best way of getting to your goal of healthy hair

[Islandgrrl]

Spidermom nailed it with her advice.

All I can add is to treat your hair very gently. Consider SMT (you'll find tons of info on the boards for this amazing moisture treatment). Be very, very patient.

You will find heaps of support here...so welcome!

[squiggyflop]

ok so with your coloring henna is out of the question.. hmm all i can say is that if you take some vitamins you might speed up your growth.. i recomend natrol.. its like 5-6 dollars for a months supply of hair skin and nails vitamins.. i took them to speed the growth of my hair back when i was more obsessed with growing out my dye damage..(i used to bleach white and dye with manic panic)i went from shoulder to bsl in 2 months and i trimmed 2 inches during that 2 months.. so it really kicked my hair into hyper speedy growing.. i originally was going to bob my hair when my non damaged hair reached chin but after henna treatments my hair wasnt as bad..
maybe you can go to a salon and have your hair dyed back to its natural color..

for now maybe you could try using baby shampoo (i know that some swear that it fades henna.. and if it can fade henna maybe it can fade anything)

too bad your not a brunett because then indigo could be your friend

[Elenna]

Growing out dyed and damaged hair is difficult, but IMHO you are trying to do too many things to your hair. Continual dyes and processing are not going to get you back to undamaged hair.

The only thing that I'd recommend are deep moisture treatments as the first C in CWC.

[Nevermore]

This isn't going to be a popular suggestion, but perhaps get it to a workable short length, if there is one for you, and chop. If your dye damage and uneven color bothers you that much, perhaps going short is the best option. I hated my hair short, but it did get rid of all the old bleach and left me with totally virgin hair.