Eep! I let someone bully my hair!

[Petite Simone]

I'm on vacation and we're about to go out to dinner. My mom REAAAALLY wanted to blowfry my hair. I tried to decline, but my feeble mumblings of "....heat styling....bad...eep" were met with scorn by my sister so I let mom do it to keep her happy. She was ripping through knots and i could hear my hair stretching and breaking. I was cringing the whole time. I was torn between being kind to my hair and letting mom have her fun. Have you ever sacrificed hair care to please someone you love? Even though you try to argue, they just shake it off with, "Oh pleaaaase?"

[Quixii]

I once let my friend straighten my hair. I didn't really want her to, and kept saying things like, "I don't really want straight hair.." and "But I'm worried about the damage." But she wouldn't let up so I let her. Sigh. It didn't even get very straight, so I'm annoyed that I probably still got damage from it without it getting much straighter than if I brush out my hair.

[akrasia]

When you were little, did she do your hair? I notice you're 18, it sounds as though your mom is trying to still show love and care by doing your hair for you.

You could resolve it in two ways, depending on the context. If she's really bullying, you could just say, "No, I do my own hair now, thanks," and refuse to engage further. Or if she's sort of wheedling and trying to baby you a little, you could *re-direct* her by saying, "No, my hair's fine, but what I *really* need from you Mom, is one of your great manicures! I can never do it as well as you!" (Or whatever might apply.)

[luxepiggy]

My ex loved the way I looked with curled hair, so ONCE a year, for his birthday, I would have it curled before we went out to dinner . . . by the time we got home from dinner, it was always halfway back to straight again . . . *sigh* . . . so much damage for such brief results!

[Fractalsofhair]

Yeah, my aunt likes to flat iron my hair( she hates curly/wavy hair. My hair is pretty straight, but to her it's wavy.), and I let her do it sometimes. My hair breaks a lot after, and now my excuse is that I use henna so I can't because it will change the color. My mum likes to comb my hair, and she's really bad at it, so normally I let her do it after a shower when I can detangle my own hair first.(my dad was the one who combed my hair most as a child, he used to have long hair, rather as my mother has mainly had shorter hair, so my dad knew how to detangle hair without it hurting)

[tinti]

No, because I have never had much damage from straightening, blowfrying etc. But one time I let my aunt herringbraid it, and she pulled so hard because my hair is so silky/smooth that it hurt terribly.

[Islandgrrl]

Last time I did that my hair was still 2 inches long all over. I figured, "What could it hurt?"

[spidermom]

My hair stylist likes to straighten my hair so that she can see the detail of her cut. Every once in awhile, I let her.

[ghost]

I might let someone heat-style my hair once in a while if I knew I could get home and do a deep conditioning treatment right away, but not if they were going to be ripping and breaking my hair.
Akrasia's tip for redirecting your mom and talking her into doing something else for you is a good one, or maybe you could show her how to do some of your favorite hairstyles so she can still play with your hair without making you fear for its safety.

[emsahib]

Yeah, my aunt likes to flat iron my hair( she hates curly/wavy hair. My hair is pretty straight, but to her it's wavy.), and I let her do it sometimes. My hair breaks a lot after, and now my excuse is that I use henna so I can't because it will change the color. My mum likes to comb my hair, and she's really bad at it, so normally I let her do it after a shower when I can detangle my own hair first.(my dad was the one who combed my hair most as a child, he used to have long hair, rather as my mother has mainly had shorter hair, so my dad knew how to detangle hair without it hurting)
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I'm really shocked at that your aunt straightens your hair becuase she'll hate it otherwise. It's your hair! Seems strange to me as well for someone to hate a hair type there's so many beautiful types of different kind of hair, its nice to have some variety.

Also Petite Simone it doesn't sound like your mum meant to treat your hair bad she probably doesnt realise how much care hair needs, I'm sure if you put your foot down next time no one will make you do anything to your hair you don't want to