I really can't say what your hair can handle, but if you turn up the heat you WILL intensify the chemical reaction taking place on your head.
Your hair looks like an F in your avatar and is already processed multiple times so it is probably pretty fragile. The second hair dresser was probably right. The difference between fine hair and coarse hair is pretty much the number of layers the outer cuticle has. These look like shingles. When you process your hair, you are are applying a basic medium (in your case bleach), which opens up the cuticle. Sometimes the shingles will lay flat again but if you do this too much, they stay open. The result is that you hair will no longer retain the right moisture balance and it is going to snap very easily.
If the other lady is making your hair fall out (O.O), then either change the color you are trying to get or stop seeing her.
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