Why I decided to keep my long hair as I get older

[Altowoman]

I almost cut my waist-length hair recently, even though I like it long. I kept reading all these articles about what a giant fashion mistake it is for women to have long hair past a certain age. Some said 30, some said 35, but ALL were in agreement that it is an atrocity for a woman to wear her hair long after age 40.

I'm getting close to 40. All the other women I know my own age do not have long hair like this. I figured it was time to give it up. Grow up, like everyone else. Be realistic. Everything all the articles implied I was NOT if I "desperately clung" to my long hair.

Desperate. There's a word that keeps popping up. A woman past 40 who keeps her hair long is desperate. Desperately trying to hold on to youth. Desperately trying to look like a teenager. Desperately trying to be what she once was and can never be again.

But why should it be interpreted that way?

I started thinking about it, and I realized: throughout the ages, older women have always been revered for their long hair. I thought of the pioneer women with their simple braids . . . I thought of my own grandmother with her little bun, and how amazed I was when she took it down, to discover that Grandma has long hair! In natural societies, ages ago and even today, a old woman's long hair was a sign of honor. The crone with her long white hair was honored and respected for her wisdom. Her long hair was a sign of the wisdom and experience that come with age. To cut it off would have been the atrocity, not that she would keep it. How dare our society shame our women of that right? The right to keep their own hair -- the right to the evidence of their rightful place as wise-woman?

And that's how I became a rebel. If that's the way it is, I will keep my long hair. I will keep it as I turn 40, and beyond. Not only will I not heed the practice of cutting my hair as I grow old, but at this rate, when I die, I hope they have trouble fitting it all in my casket!

[SimplyViki]

I completely agree. I think sometimes the "big chop" is more an act of desperation than leaving it long. I don't really understand how they could view long hair as desperate... it takes time and patience for it to get there, not something as fleeting as a brief, frustrating moment of desperation.

[Radulfr]

Does a long-haired woman 40+ have to be labeled "desperate?" How did those writers get to be mind-readers anyway?

Can she not keep her hair long just because she likes it that way?

[wintersun99]

A sarcastic observation only

Western Society seems to require [most likely based on intense media influence] that women 35+ should cut their hair (at least shoulder length) but "older" women, let's say 60+ are admired for long and healthy hair, should they choose to have it... There is a 20 year period that mandates short hair on women?

I have a few "choice" words for this sentiment, but will keep them to myself. I will say that I look forward to becoming that Rebel, too.

[magpielaura]

Yey! Glad you realized how much you wanted it before the Chop. You saved yourself all the hassle of growing it back. I just don't get why anyone should think longhair is not appropiate as you age. I'm looking forward to haveing abnormally long, silver-grey hair when I'm an old lady!

[HairyCarrie]

Magpielaura: I too want long silver hair when I'm old. And I'm gonna beatcha!

[Elbereth]

I don't remember where I read this...could have been here...anyway, here is some food for thought

There was this theory that as a woman's long hair is a powerful fertility symbol, she is being encouraged to cut it off when she is beginning to reach the end of her fertile age. "Why be beautiful (to the point of possibly luring attention away from younger women) if you can no longer reproduce?" How stone age is that? Long, healthy hair communicates health and ability to take care of oneself. Many consider a woman's long hair to be a strong sign of her femininity- and therefore, something you just are not supposed to have once your reproductive ability declines.

It has also been suggested that a woman's long hair can be intimately connected to her emotional well being. This too makes sense: if you have a waist length or longer hair, it means that you have not had urges to cut it all away for quite some time. Which might indicate certain stability: after all, many women react to emotional stress or crisis via cutting their hair. And a sign of emotional stability...yes, that makes one more attractive in the minds of many men! Hair is a very delicate part of a woman and to have it strong and long...well, that is just SO unbecoming for a woman who is supposed to suck up that she is no longer as much of a woman as younger women...

In my religion, long hair is thought to contain special spiritual power. For me, this seems to be true. There is something inexplicably empowering about having long, flowing hair (says someone who was a sincere atheist when she started to grow her hair...) Older (married) women set themselves apart from young girls by wearing their hair mostly up and possibly covering it. This is partly why the image of a wise woman with her long gray hair is so powerful: she is -among other things- one who has unleashed the spiritual power of her hair. Even free men have sported long styles (compared to today's standard). The ancient lore tells that short cut signals slavery. To me, this seems to be true to this day: the fashion of short hair in men originated in Roman military where soldiers were told to cut their hair and shave their beard in order to minimize spreading lice. Again, in Europe, men often had longer hair than they do today until the great wars of Europe. Even today, young men often cut their hair as they graduate and enter the workforce. As women have been "liberated" they have, a little ironically, decided to share the sign of slavery with men. In our societies, individuality, beauty and independent thinking are not just desirable qualities but markedly youthful traits. As one ages, she is supposed to quietly give up her place in the spotlight and become just another person among the uninteresting masses of older people.

Needless to say, I never intend to grow too old for long hair and think that you have made a great choice!

[Grenwich]

Welcome to Long Hair. Rebellious, wrong, and ever so much fun.
I'm glad you didn't cut.

[magpielaura]

Magpielaura: I too want long silver hair when I'm old. And I'm gonna beatcha!

Ha! I already have a few...might not need to be particularily old so it might not be that long....the race is on!

[florenonite]

I've never understood the whole "women oughtn't go grey" phenomenon, either. Grey hair signifies wisdom that comes with age; why, then is it unprofessional for a woman to not dye her hair when it goes grey? It just seems a bit counterintuitive to me.

Someone also posted something here ages ago about how the only reason women over x age are told to cut their hair is so hairdressers make money. The theory runs that younger women are more confident in their appearance, and so won't cut their hair just because society tells them to. Older women (who aren't really old at all, but just entering middle age, which is called "middle" for a reason) are less secure, and are therefore more likely to cut their hair if society tells them to. Thus, they get cuts that need maintained every six to eight weeks, providing money for the hairdressers. I suppose that explains the no-grey-hair issue, too. They'll spend even more money at the salon if they're getting their greys coloured, too.

I'm not condemning anyone's personal decision to cut their hair or to dye their greys, just the idea that that it must be done. No one's around to decorate anyone else's world, therefore we should all wear our hair as we like, not as we're told to.