I can't recommend any specific conditioners but just wanted to add that Amodimethicone might also be an ingredient option - it's not water-soluble but it apparently doesn't build up on itself.
Are you allergic to cocamidopropyl betaine? I've read quote a few times that it washes out most cones, including dimethicone. D'oh, just reread your post and you said no coconut ingredients. Sorry!
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