"Ridiculously long"

[Teazel]

Yesterday I returned home from 4 days at the other end of the country, attending my niece's wedding. And I'm still seething over comments about my hair made by one of my sisters.

We were having breakfast in a group - the bride and groom with my immediate family - and it was a hot, sunny morning so I was wearing a hat. And since I was wearing a hat my hair was in a plait down my back; you know how it is. And out of the blue my sister said, "Your hair is ridiculously long, Teazel." For a confused moment I wondered if that was meant in a positive or negative way - some people might call a sunset ridiculously beautiful, for example - but she followed up with, "I just want to cut it off."

Oh. Not meant in a positive way, then. Being somewhat gobsmacked, I just muttered something about staying away from her in that case, and let it go. Didn't want to start a fight! When I was alone with my mother I brought it up and said I thought my sister was incredibly rude, to which my mother said, Oh, she's just outspoken. No, that's not being outspoken, that's being rude.

Then I thought about the other times I had worn a plait that weekend, and wondered how many other people had been secretly laughing at the length of my hair. I wanted to cut it immediately. Then I thought about my sister's satisfaction if I did, and knew I could never have anything less than super-long hair ever again. Either prospect annoys me intensely.

I've thought of so many things I should have said. What happened to my standard reply to comments about the length of my hair: "Thank you!" Not that it would have stopped the second part of her remark. "I don't remember asking for your opinion" would have been a good one.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent to you, LHC. I'm feeling blue.

[mz_butterfly]

Teazel, I am sure that NOBODY was laughing at you. I think your sister was just being a snot and really, don't let her negativity enter into your thoughts.

She's probably feeling follicly challenged and decided to snark at you.

[Madora]

Teazel, don't you even THINK of cutting your magnificent hair! To hell with what others think..even if they are family! You have every right to enjoy your hair as you wish!

[gthlvrmx]

*hugs* Many people don't know what to say when it comes to hair and the only thing they can think of are negative things people say about hair, especially if it's a hair style that is not "normal". But it's still not a nice thing to say what your sister said. There's no need to cut your hair it's beautiful! A lot of people here admire your hair and I'm sure there are many people out there that are not on this website that appreciate your long hair!

[chelsea89ms]

Teazel, I am sure that NOBODY was laughing at you. I think your sister was just being a snot and really, don't let her negativity enter into your thoughts

I second this, if anything your hair was probably admired your hair is an inspiration and is incredibly beautiful!

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Gosh, I really hope you don't cut your wonderful hair, Teazel. It is incredibly hurtful when people make remarks like this, but that's part of being a longhair I guess. Sadly, I have two sisters who say things like this to me. I try to always have my hair up when they are around.

Hugs, Teazel and I hope we can make you feel better. Obviously your sister either doesn't appreciate the beauty of long hair, or she just plain doesn't like it. Or she is envious. Whatever her reasoning is, she had no right to be rude... No right at all.

We all love your hair here, that's for sure!

[hairpleasegrow]

Sounds like your sister is jealous. Who wouldn't be? Your hair is gorgeous.

[Teazel]

Actually, you might have something there, mz_butterfly. Certainly she is, as you say, a snot. But her hair is finer and more fragile than mine and our other sister's; beautiful it its own way (or it would be if she hadn't been relentlessly dyeing, cutting and styling it for the last 30-odd years), but it's possible she's frustrated with it. The alternative is that she was genuinely trying to help me, and... nah. That wasn't her motivation.

Thanks for your responses, Madora and gthlvrmx! *hugs back*

[Teazel]

Whatever her reasoning is, she had no right to be rude... No right at all.

That's what it comes down to. She's challenged in the etiquette department, for sure. I'm beginning to think that this is her problem, not mine.

And I will definitely be wearing my hair up around her in future. Note to self: look into updos to wear with hats!

[Flowerness]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that! Sometimes when people are close to us, they feel they have the right to say or do anything they want... like they get a pass on common kindness or something.

No matter what happens, it is YOUR hair. Do you like it? Does it feel like "you"? If you enjoy your hair as it is, then leave it alone. You have the right to make choices for yourself, and that includes manner of dress, makeup, and hair.

If this takes you a while to get rid of, maybe you could make a list: all of your favorite hair styles, and things to do with your hair. Make a master list of favorite hair things of all time. For example, deep condition, oil, bbb, favorite elaborate or comfortable hair styles, or even taking new hair photos. Then you could go ahead and check them off of your list over then next say 2 weeks.

You have beautiful hair, full of body, bounce, and shine. It is healthy and gorgeous and an admirable length. (Why else would they make all of the princess and mermaid and other beautiful women of stories have hair like that?)

Do whatever feels right to you, but don't do it because of meanness and spitefulness of others. Your hair is beautiful and it shines! Enjoy it!

(BTW: if I did have your hair length, and was making a master list of hair "to do's" I would totally have to try some movie hair. Princess Buttercup, Frozen, you name it! Just because we age doesn't mean we can't enjoy some good Princess movie hair!)

Lots of love to you! And enjoy your hair!