I'm so angry. I hate my hair.

**Kome** · December 6th, 2013, 07:09 PM

I'm so tired of getting in "manic" moods and doing something stupid to my hair. I hope someone else understands this. I always do something stupid with my hair when I'm in a "good" mood. This last time I bleached my whole head, but only for like 10 minutes, thinking it wouldn't do that much damage. Well... I had to cut off several inches. My hair was perfect. It was silky and happy and beautiful and now it's ugly and frizzy and poofy and always tangles... and SHORTER. I went from TBL to above Waist. I hate it! I hate my hair so much now. I have a shaved side, and then a shaved side growing out, and effed up bangs that I am trying to grow out. I just want it all one length and healthy. I don't usually regret doing things to my hair and can handle the strange things I do, but this last time I just effed everything up. SO unhappy. I feel like I should shave my whole head and just start over. I'm really upset, I know, but I dunno what else to do. I just henna'd again and I still feel like it looks like crap. The ends are so dry and thin and to fix it I'd have to cut off like another four inches and I just can't do it. I need some comfort. I want to cry.

**LauraLongLocks** · December 6th, 2013, 07:15 PM

I probably don't fully understand, but I'm sorry you are unhappy with what you did to your hair.

When I get that boredom with my hair that makes me want to cut, or do something damaging, I try to learn a new hairstyle. I've been thinking of doing a streak of some demi-permanent color in my bangs for a very long time, about 2.5 years. I haven't done it yet. I thought about cutting bangs for about 2 years before I did it. So, I guess I'm not quite as impulsive.

**windyballoons** · December 6th, 2013, 07:47 PM

Hey, that's hard to cope with. But take a deep breath!

I think if your hair is in really rough shape, then just let it be for a little while. Anything you do to it right now will just make it worse. You made changes when you were manic, and you regret them- don't make more changes now that you're upset! Deep condition your hair, wrap it up in a tshirt and stop looking at it!

Don't blame yourself for hair mistakes you made when you were manic. When you're manic, you're sick- it's not your fault! Be kind to yourself!

When you want to make changes to your hair, try imposing a waiting time limit on yourself. It sounds like you want it to be better now and you keep trying to find ways to make that happen. Well- it won't happen. I'm sorry, but your hair is messed up and the only way you can fix it is wait for the damage to grow out, just like waiting for a wound to heal. I'm not sure if you will be able to follow that rule when you're manic- you know your condition better than me. Is there someone who could help you?

In the meantime, if looking at your hair upsets you, can you afford to invest in a headcovering of some sort or a wig?

One more thought- is there other stuff going on in your life that you're taking out on your hair?

I know this must be really frustrating for you. But you will get through it. I hope you feel better soon.

**wrh452** · December 6th, 2013, 08:14 PM

I have the same exact problem. I know that with me, nothing helps except time. It has been about 4 months since my last manic freak out and I am on meds now and feeling better about it. Just try to baby it with oiling and wear it up so you don't have to look at it.

**Yozhik** · December 6th, 2013, 08:15 PM

First of all,

It'll all be all right - don't worry about doing anything else right now with it. I'd drink a nice hot beverage and sit down and just try to relax. Get a good night's sleep and then try to objectively think about what you want with your hair goals next.

It might also help your impulsiveness and regret cycle if you can figure out what kind of thinking/behavior makes you want to do drastic changes.

It'll all be all right - I know you are really upset right now, but this, too, shall pass!

**Kome** · December 6th, 2013, 08:17 PM

Originally Posted by windyballoons

Hey, that's hard to cope with. But take a deep breath!

I think if your hair is in really rough shape, then just let it be for a little while. Anything you do to it right now will just make it worse. You made changes when you were manic, and you regret them- don't make more changes now that you're upset! Deep condition your hair, wrap it up in a tshirt and stop looking at it!

Don't blame yourself for hair mistakes you made when you were manic. When you're manic, you're sick- it's not your fault! Be kind to yourself!

When you want to make changes to your hair, try imposing a waiting time limit on yourself. It sounds like you want it to be better now and you keep trying to find ways to make that happen. Well- it won't happen. I'm sorry, but your hair is messed up and the only way you can fix it is wait for the damage to grow out, just like waiting for a wound to heal. I'm not sure if you will be able to follow that rule when you're manic- you know your condition better than me. Is there someone who could help you?

In the meantime, if looking at your hair upsets you, can you afford to invest in a headcovering of some sort or a wig?

One more thought- is there other stuff going on in your life that you're taking out on your hair?

I know this must be really frustrating for you. But you will get through it. I hope you feel better soon.

All good thoughts. I try and keep it in a braid a lot. I just feel fed up with it right now. I probably do take things out on my hair a lot. I'm just tired of having to wear it up. I'm so tempted to cut more off because I hate how it feels on the bottom, but I know I'll regret it. Being patient is not something I'm very good at. And it's probably not as bad as I think it is. I'm just really obsessive about my hair. Bleh. Thanks for the ideas.

**Kome** · December 6th, 2013, 08:19 PM

Originally Posted by Yozhik

First of all,

It'll all be all right - don't worry about doing anything else right now with it. I'd drink a nice hot beverage and sit down and just try to relax. Get a good night's sleep and then try to objectively think about what you want with your hair goals next.

It might also help your impulsiveness and regret cycle if you can figure out what kind of thinking/behavior makes you want to do drastic changes.

It'll all be all right - I know you are really upset right now, but this, too, shall pass!

Thank you. I will try and just oil it and braid it again tonight. I trimmed a bit off last night because I just couldn't stand it. *sigh* I guess I'll just braid it every day for the next year? Heh. :P

**spidermom** · December 6th, 2013, 08:43 PM

Why not just go get a great new haircut? It can do so much for your morale.

**windyballoons** · December 6th, 2013, 10:12 PM

It's ok to be fed up, irritated, and frustrated with your hair sometimes- that's normal! I also get sick of wearing braids all the time, lol. I don't blame you. Patience is hard, especially in our culture of "now". So, hugs to you!

**HintOfMint** · December 7th, 2013, 12:23 AM

I completely understand manic moods and wanting to make big, extreme changes when you're happy as opposed to unhappy. With a handful of exceptions, I've toyed with cutting my hair pixie short when my confidence was at an all time high and I thought I could pull off anything. My friends had to talk me out of it (and good!). I've also toyed with rose gold highlights, ombre dye... etc., also when I was quite happy.

Fortunately, I have a cheap and lazy streak that prevents all of these ideas from coming into fruition. I'm sorry your manic spell didn't result in a good outcome.

It will grow out with time, and some TLC can go a long way.