Wore My Snood To Work - I Work With A Bunch of Idiots

[Kelli Kat]

Okay, so today was the Christmas party at my office. I wore a red and black outfit and decided to wear my red snood and I put a black lace hairband over it. Honestly, if I could wear a french hood I would, but I digress. Anyway, I got several nice compliments on the snood. Then one of my co-workers comes by while I'm sitting down, touches it, ugh (a couple people actually felt the need to touch it) , and says that's really cute, I say its a snood and she says, "its a hair condom" I'm serious, she really said that. After she left, I said to one of girls at my table, that the other one's comment really pissed me off. So my friend says, "well, it is pretty unusual". Its a freaking hair net for god's sake, is a snood really that weird to wear. Grrrr.

And just saying, in my own humble opinion, the snood and hairband looked very cool together.

[Maktub]

Okay, so today was the Christmas party at my office. I wore a red and black outfit and decided to wear my red snood and I put a black lace hairband over it. Honestly, if I could wear a french hood I would, but I digress. Anyway, I got several nice compliments on the snood. Then one of my co-workers comes by while I'm sitting down, touches it, ugh (a couple people actually felt the need to touch it) , and says that's really cute, I say its a snood and she says, "its a hair condom" I'm serious, she really said that. After she left, I said to one of girls at my table, that the other one's comment really pissed me off. So my friend says, "well, it is pretty unusual". Its a freaking hair net for god's sake, is a snood really that weird to wear. Grrrr.

And just saying, in my own humble opinion, the snood and hairband looked very cool together.



Sorry you felt offended, but those comments actually seem very nice to me. The fact that snoods aren't common is true, but your coworker that called it a hair condom was probably just joking around, as she did say it was cute, didn't she ?

Sorry if I'm not seeing the situation properly, but all you said actually seemed flattering to me (received lots of positive comments about the snood) and I just don't see why you were offended or what makes anyone an idiot in that situation.

[Kelli Kat]

Yeah the compliments were nice. It was the condom comment that upset me. I don't know if she was joking or not, I would probably say not, since we don't actually know each other well enough to joke with each other that way, which is why I was upset about it.

As for my friend, if she had commented, "oh, that's really unusual", I would have been okay with it, but the way it was said was like since its unusual, its okay to compare it with a condom.

[spidermom]

I don't get the comparison between snood and condom; I must admit. That would never occur to me. But I truly don't think offense was intended, except in the case of referring to people as a bunch of idiots.

[minxe]

Are you really that surprised? Snoods aren't exactly a common sight.

Relax.

[spirals]

Calling it a condom is idiotic and illustrates where her mind resides.

[Micayla47]

sounds really cute. i'd like to see photos :)

[ScarlettAdelle]

It sounds like she spoke without thinking. She may or may not have realised how stupid she sounded and immediately thought something along the lines of "Step 1: locate foot. Step 2: locate mouth. Step 3: Insert foot into mouth. Operation complete. This conversation is officially 1000 times more awkward than it needs to be."

I hope it doesn't affect your ability to wear it if you actually like it. I would've never been able to look at it again without her stupid face popping into my head and hearing her voice ring in my ears and reliving the lovely experience, and would probably end up getting rid of it even though I really did like it (it's happened before, even when people are joking). I had someone make a particularly stupid comment about my hair in high school (a good 8 years ago, now) and I've still not worn it down curly since because every time I go to wear it down, I relive that and think "*sigh* nope... close, but... nope." and put it up. I hope you're not like that!!

Pictures, please! Hair toy pictures are always lovely!

[Isa Ferrara]

Sounds lovely, but relax. The idea of a condom shouldn't be something to get worked up over and ruin how you felt and negate the compliments...a condom is a condom, for safe sex. Not a big deal. I doubt she was saying that your hair was phallic looking. I rather think that people who don't have safe sex are the idiots...lol.

[kaydana]

Doesn't sound like she meant anything bad by it, and you got nice comments on it, so I'd just be happy with that.

I thought it was just me who wishes I could get away with wearing a french hood!

[EtherealDoll]

The condom comment was weird, which makes me think she might have been a little drunk(it was a party after all).

But you're being much more mean by calling them a bunch of idiots. Snoods are very unusual and people don't have to like them. But nobody told you your snood was ugly, quite the opposite, your co-worker said it was cute.

[piffyanne]

You should teach more of your coworkers to practice hair safety when going to parties! ;)

I'm sorry, it was too ridiculous. Hair condom? :rollin: Well, it's an original way of putting it. :eyeroll:

I also want to see pictures, it sounds SUPER cute!! :blossom: :popcorn:

[Milui Elenath]

I always get lots of comments when I wear snoods. So much so that I feel uncomfortable wearing them now :( It's not always negative comments (and I take compliments fairly well) but they are excessive - plus mine are handmade and people always ask me where I got them to which I have to confess I made them which also elicits compliments - its just too many :oops:. I have also had the sense on the odd occasion that the other person is concerned I am covering my hair - which would be my business anyway! So I guess that snoods are unusual.

I have to say though that I would be offended if someone compared my hair accessory to a condom!

[bunnylake]

While calling anyone an idiot is mean, I think it's okay to vent here when you're frustrated or upset and I don't judge you for that. You have the right to feel however it is that you feel. Just don't let it consume you. You like your snood, so who cares what anyone else thinks? I would feel offended as well, in your situation. Maybe we are just very sensitive people. I don't actually think snoods are all that unusual at all... Anyway, you did get compliments too, so don't feel bad!

[Mayflower]

I actually think that's a very funny comment. Are you really mad about the word "condom"? She said it was cute and you got a lot of compliments, why not be happy with that and take a joke for what it is, even though it might not be your sense of humor.



It sounds like she spoke without thinking. She may or may not have realised how stupid she sounded and immediately thought something along the lines of "Step 1: locate foot. Step 2: locate mouth. Step 3: Insert foot into mouth. Operation complete. This conversation is officially 1000 times more awkward than it needs to be."

I hope it doesn't affect your ability to wear it if you actually like it. I would've never been able to look at it again without her stupid face popping into my head and hearing her voice ring in my ears and reliving the lovely experience, and would probably end up getting rid of it even though I really did like it (it's happened before, even when people are joking). I had someone make a particularly stupid comment about my hair in high school (a good 8 years ago, now) and I've still not worn it down curly since because every time I go to wear it down, I relive that and think "*sigh* nope... close, but... nope." and put it up. I hope you're not like that!!

Pictures, please! Hair toy pictures are always lovely!

And this behaviour does not sound healthy. Even though you might be frustrated, saying she has a stupid face is just way over the top and totally unnecessary :eek:. Gee what happened to tolerance people.

[MsBubbles]

I'm having a different reaction here: I find your thread title funny, and think that condom-comment girl was trying to say something for her own benefit, i.e. to get a laugh out of others to elevate her own status, regardless of hurting your feelings or embarrassing you. In a professional setting (even if it is a party), using that frame of reference to allude to how someone else looks is inappropriate, IMO. It's certainly not necessary to say it out loud, even if she is thinking it.

Sounds to me like she chose to go for the laugh at the expense of your feelings. But I wasn't there so I don't know for sure.

In either case, try to put it down to her own bad judgment and then let it go. It says more about her than it does about you.

[jacqueline101]

Anything different gets made fun of.

[Ayjay]

People really are silly. I think it sounds quite cute. Now I really want one :)

[MsBubbles]

Speaking of tolerance, I think the OP got her feelings hurt and this thread is part of her reaction to that, which IMO, seems like a normal human reaction. I have definitely called people a bunch of idiots in the past after getting my feelings hurt too. I can see now that their idiocy is/was all their own, but at the time I was just hurt.

(I will go ahead and call myself an armchair-psychology windbag now so nobody else needs to :lol:)

[furnival]

Hmm... You went to a party wearing something unusual upon your head then got upset when it was commented on? I don't think that makes the people you work with a bunch of idiots. I'm sure no offence was meant- she probably blurted out what she thought without thinking.
I agree that it sounds fantastic though and will add to the chorus of people wanting to see a picture! :)

[bunnylake]

Speaking of tolerance, I think the OP got her feelings hurt and this thread is part of her reaction to that, which IMO, seems like a normal human reaction. I have definitely called people a bunch of idiots in the past after getting my feelings hurt too. I can see now that their idiocy is/was all their own, but at the time I was just hurt.

(I will go ahead and call myself an armchair-psychology windbag now so nobody else needs to :lol:)

This! I actually feel like some of the comments on this thread are not very sympathetic or understanding. Even if you don't "get it" or your reaction to the situation would be different than the OP, it's not right to invalidate the feelings of the OP.

[patienceneeded]

I understand why you felt hurt, but I doubt she was trying to be mean to you. And I actually get the condom reference (condoms cover the male sexual organ for protection during sex. A snood covers the length of the hair for protection from the outside elements). Both objects are used to cover something that would otherwise be exposed. Her reference was perhaps inappropriate for the setting and her relationship to her, but not intentionally set out to hurt you.

[bunnylake]

Also, I wouldn't get upset over people making comments like "oh that's different" or "I've never seen anyone wearing something like that before", but if someone said to me "your hair accessory looks like something a man ejaculates into"... Uh, I would be offended too. I think that might be how the OP feels about it. That's totally understandable, IMO. I think the comment was really rude.

[Peggy E.]

Might this person been hoping to turn this party into one of "those" office Christmas parties?! :o(

Not sure the connotation, doesn't matter, really, but the comments were nicer than I was prepared for you to relay.

Don't worry about what other people say - YOU knew it was beautiful, classy and you were the belle of the ball. So who cares what anyone of those other idiots has to say?!

Peggy E.




I don't get the comparison between snood and condom; I must admit. That would never occur to me. But I truly don't think offense was intended, except in the case of referring to people as a bunch of idiots.

[MaryO]

I had to go make sure what a snood is because of the condom thing but I don't see it. Maybe the person who made the comment had a glass too many? ;-) Also can't picture the snood with a headband- would really like to see it!

[alyaziaaah]

Lol yeah maybe she had a glass too many! It's actually quite funny. What an idiot lol. Don't take life so serious dear, some people make stupid comments. I am sure your hair looked beautiful.

[kidari]

I think you were just getting a lot of attention because it's a bit unusual and I bet it looked really cute. Am I the only one who sees the relation between comparing the condom to the snood? Lol I think it's funny because a snood protects the hair against damage so it's like "protection" for the health of your hair? I don't know, but I think it's kind of funny. Anyhow it's like how in American nobody really dresses up so if you actually look put together, people pay a ton of attention to you.

[Sillage]

It sounds like a thoughtless comment. I doubt she was trying to be hurtful if she was touching it (lol boundaries please!) and saying that it's really cute.

[ArienEllariel]

Wow, that was rude. I'd be offended too. I hope her stupid comment didn't ruin the party for you. If it was me I might have just gone into the bathroom and cried...

[AutumnLocks]

People are just uneducated about lots of stuff.

[Sillage]

Found the perfect gif for this thread

http://i.imgur.com/2mBAC.gif

[verylittlecarro]

It's a shame you felt hurt. It doesn't sound like that was the intention.
It is actually a witty comment, IMHO. Because a snood is a hair condom really, come to think of it. I would have snorted if someone had said that to me. That is, if I owned a snood, which I don't.
However humour only works if the recipient is likely to deem it funny, and since you didn't it seems your comedian pal misjudged the situation. Please don't let it spoil your enjoyment of your hair accessory.

[ScarlettAdelle]

And this behaviour does not sound healthy. Even though you might be frustrated, saying she has a stupid face is just way over the top and totally unnecessary :eek:. Gee what happened to tolerance people.

It really never occurred to me that anyone would think I was suggesting that her face is actually stupid or insinuating that there's anything wrong with her appearance.

[Mayflower]

It really never occurred to me that anyone would think I was actually suggesting that her face is actually stupid or insinuating that there's anything wrong with her appearance.

Well yeah obviously, since you never saw the woman.

[gthlvrmx]

Speaking of tolerance, I think the OP got her feelings hurt and this thread is part of her reaction to that, which IMO, seems like a normal human reaction. I have definitely called people a bunch of idiots in the past after getting my feelings hurt too. I can see now that their idiocy is/was all their own, but at the time I was just hurt.

(I will go ahead and call myself an armchair-psychology windbag now so nobody else needs to :lol:)

yeah this and also i agree with the other post that Msbubbles put on here

and im sorry some of the new peeps here on lhc said some insensitive things as well on your thread OP, id be offended too if someone said that to me. to me its offensive, the intention wasnt to wear a freaking condom on your head -_- and for that other person to basically "defend" the comment by saying "well it IS unsual" doesnt make it ok to me, thats just being dumb to me.
people really need to be a bit more open minded and kinder with new things that they don't usually see or experience. Rude people i swear.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Sometimes people just say silly things without thinking - sounds like one of those times. Don't let it worry you, she likely didn't mean any harm with her comment, even though it's pretty silly. And she may well have had a glass too many.

[Kaelee]

It's a shame you felt hurt. It doesn't sound like that was the intention.
It is actually a witty comment, IMHO. Because a snood is a hair condom really, come to think of it. I would have snorted if someone had said that to me. That is, if I owned a snood, which I don't.
However humour only works if the recipient is likely to deem it funny, and since you didn't it seems your comedian pal misjudged the situation. Please don't let it spoil your enjoyment of your hair accessory.

I agree with all of this. I don't see anything remotely offensive about the word "condom".

[ArienEllariel]

To me condom = sex/sex related and something pretty that I put on my head (like a snood) does not at all relate IMHO. Plus condoms are meant to be used and thrown away (and I think of something dirty in relation to the word), whereas if I take the time to put my hair up nicely, I don't like that to be seen as garbage. Does that make things a bit more clear to those who thought this was funny?

[AnqeIicDemise]

I'll be honest when I say that I kind of snickered at the comment... but then again I have the mentality and sense of humor belonging to a thirteen year old boy. I also don't find sex to be considered 'dirty' or taboo in any way. To me its a form of expression between two people and there's nothing nasty about *that*

HOWEVER, after my snickering and coughing fit, it did dawn on me that hey... yeah, the comment was rather rude. I mean, if my best friend called my snood a hair condom I would've laughed right along with her and even gone as far to say 'its what I do to protect the world of my perversion.'... but that wasn't a friend. That was a passing acquaintance at best and her comment uncalled for. I'm sorry OP. Some people just don't know how to stop and think before opening their mouths. Or maybe she did and said it on purpose because she's a jealous head because your hair is much more prettier than hers.

Personally, I find snoods rather pretty, especially netted ones. :D I made one myself that I don't wear because a) its pink and b) my hair's gotten too long for it. I seriously need to sit down and make another one. Ooooh.. now that my sewing machine is fixed I should make myself a velvet one!

[AnqeIicDemise]

To me condom = sex/sex related and something pretty that I put on my head (like a snood) does not at all relate IMHO. Plus condoms are meant to be used and thrown away (and I think of something dirty in relation to the word), whereas if I take the time to put my hair up nicely, I don't like that to be seen as garbage. Does that make things a bit more clear to those who thought this was funny?

And this too. I don't find the sexual connection dirty or taboo but the fact that condoms are one-time, disposable things... well, I'm not wearing a piece of garbage on my head so yeah. Its a little hurtful if the comment came from someone I don't particularly care about.

[ScarlettAdelle]

To me condom = sex/sex related and something pretty that I put on my head (like a snood) does not at all relate IMHO. Plus condoms are meant to be used and thrown away (and I think of something dirty in relation to the word), whereas if I take the time to put my hair up nicely, I don't like that to be seen as garbage. Does that make things a bit more clear to those who thought this was funny?
I agree with this, 1000 percent. It's like... if you were to spend all this time and effort curling your hair and getting it just perfect and someone were to walk up to you, take a look at your hair and immediately get this look like "Oh! Yes! that's where I've seen that wave pattern before!!" and promptly tell you about their uncle's curly chest-rug. You're left there like "Thanks... My hair looks like a man's chest fur. Lovely... Now I get to spend the rest of the evening around other people and wondering if they're thinking about wooly man bodies while looking at my hair. That's EXACTLY how I wanted to spend tonight. -__-;"

Then again, I'm blunt and tend to make it clear when someone's made a comment like that, so immediately following the condom comment, I would've most likely turned to her, raised my eyebrow and sarcastically and just a hint theatrically went "...Thanks..." *stare down* That response automatically says to the other person "Dude!! Inappropriate..." and usually causes them to blush and realise how their comment came across. I do this because now I'm uncomfortable and I refuse to suffer alone :P

[Kaelee]

To me condom = sex/sex related and something pretty that I put on my head (like a snood) does not at all relate IMHO. Plus condoms are meant to be used and thrown away (and I think of something dirty in relation to the word), whereas if I take the time to put my hair up nicely, I don't like that to be seen as garbage. Does that make things a bit more clear to those who thought this was funny?

Honestly? No, sorry. I understand that some people find it rude and I *get* why but I do not find anything remotely dirty about sex. I also don't associate condoms with garbage (until they've been USED at any rate. :eyebrows:).

That said, know your audience. My workmates KNOW I'm a pervert, so I would fully EXPECT that sort of comment if I wore a snood to work. Probably from several people, lol. And I'd be the first person to laugh if someone said that to me.

But not everyone has the same sense of humor and if you (general you) don't know how the person will respond...well don't make comments like that.

[MORE]

This makes me think about when I wore a single side-braid and a bandana to uni a month ago. E v e r y o n e would comment on it, no-one said it looked nice they just said: your're wearing a bandana! Um, yes I am.

One guy said "You are being Pocahontas today!". I don't know if he was being smart, but I decided to take it as a compliment anyway as I love Pocahontas. :D

[gizmocrystal]

Hey op i know exactly what you mean.

People say things as jokes but you know by their tone and body language that they are looking to have a laugh at your expense. Even if she thought it reminded her of a condom there was no need to blurt it out.

There are some people who would find that kind of thing funny, there are others(such as myself) who would think they are being bloody cheeky.

[JamieLeigh]

I find the lack of sensitivity to the OP's feelings more rude than the condom comment. Not finding it anything to be upset about yourself doesn't change the fact that the OP's feelings were hurt by the initial comment, and none of you were there so you have no idea what the person "obviously" meant.

[spidermom]

I find the lack of sensitivity to the OP's feelings more rude than the condom comment. Not finding it anything to be upset about yourself doesn't change the fact that the OP's feelings were hurt by the initial comment, and none of you were there so you have no idea what the person "obviously" meant.

True enough, but I've certainly been helped by someone pointing out to me in the past that the way I reacted to a certain remark was not the only way. Someone can only hurt you with your cooperation.

[2peasinapod]

I find the lack of sensitivity to the OP's feelings more rude than the condom comment. Not finding it anything to be upset about yourself doesn't change the fact that the OP's feelings were hurt by the initial comment, and none of you were there so you have no idea what the person "obviously" meant.

I agree. Just because it's a little different and they may not have seen one before doesn't give them the right to be immature about it. OP put some effort into her outfit, and someone just had to be annoying about it. Lots of people wear a unique outfit or accessory to a party, that doesn't mean they should expect people to say dumb things about it. It's not rude to call someone an idiot after they've said something dumb, especially if you don't say it to their face.

OP made it clear she got lots of compliments but was just annoyed at one person and came here for support. I'm honestly shocked at the "get over it" comments. Very long hair is uncommon and unusual; does that give people the right to comment and tell you to cut it? Next time someone makes a post about not having their hair goals supported in real life, should we just ignore the OPs feelings and critique their hair? Whatever happened to KNIT?

OP, I'm sorry that happened to you. That was a rude thing to say. Take comfort in the compliments you received and the fact that most people thought it looked nice. I, too, would like to see a picture. It sounds lovely! :)

[Celtic Morla]

Look at it this way..if all her condoms have so much air flowing thru them she'll be PG before long!!

People say silly things just realize she's a bit of a dip and move on.

Most people don't know how to react to things that re different or somethign they may have only seen in an old photo.

Count it up as a learning expereince and remember my first sentence as a come back...

[spidermom]

OP made it clear she got lots of compliments but was just annoyed at one person and came here for support. )

You don't think it was a bit of an over-reaction to be annoyed by ONE person, and announce she works with a BUNCH of idiots?

[Mishka_84]

OP, I gotta say, I would've been a little hurt by a comment like this too. I hope it doesn't ruin your enjoyment of your snood.

I actually don't have a problem with talking about sexual stuff *in the right environment*; work is definitely not the appropriate environment to bring that to. And comparing something very pretty and fun (like a snood) to something sexual (and honestly not very aesthetically pleasing, even when they come in colors) is not very thoughtful.

[Sillage]

True enough, but I've certainly been helped by someone pointing out to me in the past that the way I reacted to a certain remark was not the only way.


Me too. Good point SpiderMom!

[ravenreed]

It really bugged me that she said she got a lot of compliments and ONE negative one, yet labeled the whole bunch of them, nice folks included, as "a bunch of idiots." I understand she was vexed, but still. I think THAT is what is getting her the less sympathetic responses.



I agree. Just because it's a little different and they may not have seen one before doesn't give them the right to be immature about it. OP put some effort into her outfit, and someone just had to be annoying about it. Lots of people wear a unique outfit or accessory to a party, that doesn't mean they should expect people to say dumb things about it. It's not rude to call someone an idiot after they've said something dumb, especially if you don't say it to their face.

OP made it clear she got lots of compliments but was just annoyed at one person and came here for support. I'm honestly shocked at the "get over it" comments. Very long hair is uncommon and unusual; does that give people the right to comment and tell you to cut it? Next time someone makes a post about not having their hair goals supported in real life, should we just ignore the OPs feelings and critique their hair? Whatever happened to KNIT?

OP, I'm sorry that happened to you. That was a rude thing to say. Take comfort in the compliments you received and the fact that most people thought it looked nice. I, too, would like to see a picture. It sounds lovely! :)

[2peasinapod]

So you've never used hyperbole before? You've always been perfectly logical and articulate when you vent? Maybe "a bunch" wasn't the most accurate way to describe a couple of people (the person who made the remark and the person who said "well, it is unusual"), but it hardly justifies pages of insensitive replies.

If you make a "humorous" remark and the other person doesn't find it humorous or is annoyed by it, the thing to do is apologize, not defend it and say the other person is "too sensitive". Yes, there are people who get upset over frivolous things, but to most people "hair condom" isn't exactly a compliment. Instead of trying to see things from OPs perspective, we have a couple pages of people saying sex isn't dirty, I wouldn't personally be annoyed (so neither should you), and "you said a bunch, not one or two". I'm a lot more bugged by that than the OPs wording.

[furnival]

True enough, but I've certainly been helped by someone pointing out to me in the past that the way I reacted to a certain remark was not the only way. Someone can only hurt you with your cooperation.
This. I don't think anyone has intended to hurt the OP's feelings in this thread. People have just been trying to point out that sometimes it's better to brush comments like these off instead of dwelling upon them and becoming worked up and upset.
We can't change the fact that there will always be kn0bheads who insult us, inadvertently or otherwise; we can only change the way we react to them.

[ravenreed]

Actually, my son has threatened to call the hyperbole police on me before... However, I try not to lump people together like that. We have no control over what people say about us or to us, but we have a choice over whether to focus on the positive things they say, or the negative. I would like to think that if I said something nice to someone at the same party as someone who said something negative, that I wouldn't be lumped in with the person who said something negative. I go out of my way to compliment people, especially on unusual things they are wearing. And for me 'unusual' isn't a negative, it's a positive.



So you've never used hyperbole before? You've always been perfectly logical and articulate when you vent? Maybe "a bunch" wasn't the most accurate way to describe a couple of people (the person who made the remark and the person who said "well, it is unusual"), but it hardly justifies pages of insensitive replies.

If you make a "humorous" remark and the other person doesn't find it humorous or is annoyed by it, the thing to do is apologize, not defend it and say the other person is "too sensitive". Yes, there are people who get upset over frivolous things, but to most people "hair condom" isn't exactly a compliment. Instead of trying to see things from OPs perspective, we have a couple pages of people saying sex isn't dirty, I wouldn't personally be annoyed (so neither should you), and "you said a bunch, not one or two". I'm a lot more bugged by that than the OPs wording.

[spidermom]

Hyperbole - me? No.

[2peasinapod]

Unusual wasn't the insult, it was the way her friend used it to justify the questionable "hair condom" remark. I've called people I've worked with "a bunch of idiots" before without trying to malign everyone at work. People I've worked with have used the phrase "a bunch of idiots", and I've never been insulted by it. I've realized that they're just angry and probably very stressed. If I've complimented someone and that person goes on to say that "a bunch of idiots" insulted them, I realize they're not talking about me. Most people are just venting their feelings and don't mean it personally. They usually don't mean literally every single person and I have to say I'm surprised to hear that response on a thread where a lot of posters are telling the OP not to take everything so seriously.

[ravenreed]

Eh, I take things somewhat seriously. I am a fairly serious person. However, the hair condom comment wouldn't have phased me. If I wear something unusual, I expect unusual comments. A hair snood, by today's standards, is unusual. The last time they were seriously popular was what, the 40's? They had a brief resurgence in the 80's, I think for about a week (there's some hyperbole for you). That wouldn't stop me from wearing it or being happy at the positive comments I got. I go out of my way to wear unusual things. It makes me happy, no matter what anyone else says or thinks about it.



Unusual wasn't the insult, it was the way her friend used it to justify the questionable "hair condom" remark. I've called people I've worked with "a bunch of idiots" before without trying to malign everyone at work. People I've worked with have used the phrase "a bunch of idiots", and I've never been insulted by it. I've realized that they're just angry and probably very stressed. If I've complimented someone and that person goes on to say that "a bunch of idiots" insulted them, I realize they're not talking about me. Most people are just venting their feelings and don't mean it personally. They usually don't mean literally every single person and I have to say I'm surprised to hear that response on a thread where a lot of posters are telling the OP not to take everything so seriously.

[2peasinapod]

The point of the thread wasn't whether it would bother you are not. The OP was bothered and looking for a bit of support. Not to be rude, but I don't see what's wrong with that. There are lots of threads talking or venting about things that wouldn't bother me. I don't see the point in replying to a thread just to say that.

[ravenreed]

Oh, I am sorry, I guess I didn't realize that no one was ever to say anything other than, 'How horrible, you poor you." Have you actually READ the other threads here at LHC?

ETA: People try to help in different ways. Some people will offer sympathetic noises, some will offer suggestions, or another way of looking at the situation. Some, like me, will speak from personal experience. We are not responsible for trying to figure out the 'best way' to help because that will be different for everyone. We offer what we have to offer.


The point of the thread wasn't whether it would bother you are not. The OP was bothered and looking for a bit of support. Not to be rude, but I don't see what's wrong with that. There are lots of threads talking or venting about things that wouldn't bother me. I don't see the point in replying to a thread just to say that.

[MsBubbles]

I try not to lump people together like that. We have no control over what people say about us or to us, but we have a choice over whether to focus on the positive things they say, or the negative.

Yes, and we also have the choice of perpetuating the negativity, or not.

*runs for cover*

[ravenreed]

Perhaps some of think that offering another point of view is a kindness...


Yes, and we also have the choice of perpetuating the negativity, or practicing some kindness.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Wow this conversation is going on a very long time....

[verylittlecarro]

At the risk of offending the OP further, which I absolutely do not wish to do, I just wanted to point out a subtle but important distinction which, to me, makes the difference between a thoughtless and insulting comment and a witty, albeit risqué comment.
"That looks like a condom in your hair" = insulting. Because a snood doesn't look like a condom.
"It's a hair condom" = funny observation. Because a snood is to hair what a glove is to a hand, a sock is to a foot, a bra is to a boob etc...
Put into that context, I think it's a fair assumption that it might be received as a funny comment on nothing more than an unusual and rarely seen before hair sock/glove/bag thingy. I had to google 'snood' since joining LHC, since where I live a snood is like a circular knitted neck scarf. I've never seen a hair snood in real life.

Humour is very subjective, your friend misjudged you and your likely response. I would have associated the comment with functionality, you have associated the comment with negative associations such as disposability, and nasty aesthetics. I therefore understand your need to vent. And your colleague would do well to apologise since your feelings were hurt.

But I don't feel in all honesty that I can reinforce your feelings that your colleagues are a bunch of idiots. At least not from your OP.

I once, as a teenager, took mortal offence when my Granny told me I had bonny legs.
Granny: bonny = pretty
Me: bonny = fat

Is it possible that your colleague didn't mean imply anything negative?

[MsBubbles]

Perhaps some of think that offering another point of view is a kindness...

Good point! I guess that's on a sliding scale depending on how it's said. I am always learning on that one. I think I'm down to sticking my foot in my mouth once out of every 3 times, instead of every other time. :foot:

[RavennaNight]

The joke said may have been inappropriate, sure. But I find the best line of defense is to never take anything like that personally. No matter how personally it is meant, whether it was meant as a jab at you or misplaced good natured but awkward humor, I would just laugh about it. If the person intended it to be taken personally, then they failed at their jab. It's a karmic mind game. If it was an awkward joke, then at least it has been disarmed with a giggle.

[ravenreed]

I was thinking about your comment earlier. What I realized is that some of the most unkind things ever said to me were said nicely, and vice versa. I think sometimes people confuse kindness with niceness. I am usually kind, but often not nice, if that makes any sense. I will go out of my way to help someone, but I don't always say the most diplomatic thing. Sometimes I say something that I think is important to say, even if it isn't the nicest. Eh, anyway, I am sorry the OP got her feelings hurt anyway.


Good point! I guess that's on a sliding scale depending on how it's said. I am always learning on that one. I think I'm down to sticking my foot in my mouth once out of every 3 times, instead of every other time. :foot:

[Shermie Girl]

Are you really that surprised? Snoods aren't exactly a common sight.

Relax.

Common site or no, it doesn't give someone license to make tactless, tasteless remarks. When did it become okay to be rude? And when did it become okay to compound the hurt caused by a rude remark by essentially telling someone that they asked for it and to just "relax"? :rolleyes: