upset

[goldenbrunette]

im feeling pretty depressed. i dont want to come across at all superficial; im really not. but i thought that my hair was the one part of me that was nice, my best feature if you like. to tell the truth im fat and ugly, but i thought that my hair was good. its not, its dry, at funny lengths a bland colour and very splayed ends. i feel rubbish. so unattractive. what is the point in me trying to have naturally beautiful hair? there is nothing natrually beautiful about me. i should go ahead and dye it and straighten, conform. what makes it feel worse is there is a big family event coming up this weekend, i have to go but feel so down and low in confidence. to make myself better i keep on eating excessive amounts of bad food.

[goldenbrunette]

and now i feel pretty bad about all that self pity

[ClareDee]

goldenbrunette, Sorry you're feeling so low. Don't worry about seeming superficial -- we all worry about appearances sometimes. I know in my case, those feelings can start out small (like "I wish I was a different shape") and end up spiralling downwards until I'm basically wishing I could be entirely different in every way.

I can't comment on your hair because I've never seen pictures of it, but if you have been caring for your hair, I feel sure that it must reflect that care somehow. On most days, at least

FWIW, you seem a very nice person. I know you left a lovely comment on my profile without having ever spoken to me before, and I can see by other people's comments on your profile that you have complimented them too. I do wish we could see your own hair -- and maybe see qualities in it that you are not seeing at the moment.

Beauty comes in many, many forms. You don't need to conform to anything. Keep that in mind

[bunnii]

I'm sorry you feel so down To Be Honest I kind of know how you feel, with my hair being the only thing i like about myself and when that went wrong I was in a right state. The only thing that helped me is to keep going. Best thing IMO would be to get a cup of tea and watch something great then do a deep condition or something your hair does react to well, maybe do some facial stuff too like a mask or something. feel better soon

[Dvips]

Well, if it makes you feel better, why don't you use a temp color wash (only colors lighter than your hair if you want to guarantee that it is temp) and/or a straightener before your family event?

Unless your hair is already quite damaged and/or very frail, if you pre-condition and deep condition afterwards, you should be able to do this once without really damaging your hair.

Just my opinion...

[Fillette]

goldenbrunette, I am so sorry you feel down. But it is okay, most of us go through moments like that...

If you need some time to mop around, go for it. Sometimes a good cry is necessary because all of the sudden negativity comes from deeper reasons than just your physical appearance. So go ahead, mop around for a few hours, cry or take a nap... THEN, when you are done letting it all out, do something good for yourself.

An hour at the spa or a massage (if you can afford it) can make you feel renewed. If you don't want to spend money, just do it at home. Give yourself a pedicure/manucure, light some candles and take a nice bath, call some girl friends over a have a spa party... anything that makes you feel better. The idea is to keep you from focusing on anything negative.

Remember that your are definitely worth it. I can assure you that you ARE beautiful. As for your hair, you know that taking good care of it is the right thing so please, refrain from damaging. Give yourself a deep conditioning treatment and see how soft and wonderful it looks. Don't worry everything will be back to normal soon!!!

Hugs.

[truepeacenik]

I get what you are saying, and I think I have nice hair, then I get serious hair envy here. But I like these people so I stay!

Sounds like you have a lot of stress surrounding the event, and that might be triggering emotional eating. (and why oh why do we crave fattening things then?)

I literally cannot keep food that is "bad" around the house.
I force myself to make sweets, rather than buy them. this helps. I still have 30 pounds I'd like to be rid of, but I'm doing what I can for now.

I joke that I should get a pedal power generator for the computer so I'd get exercise while online.
I did start using a hand wash device (a 5 gal bucket with lid and new/unused plunger), so I feel less lazy.

As for looks, I am "striking," a nice way to say not a beauty at all.
But so what? I'm here to decorate my OWN world.
What I am is intelligent, opinionated, talented, creative and loads of other, more important things.
I still have esteem issues, but I try to let go of the shell for the contents.

[DragonLady]

Remember Johnny Lingo and his 8 cow wife? Beauty starts with self-worth.

I second the suggestion to go do something for you. Get out of the house, visit a bookstore, have a manicure, wander through an art gallery...whatever picks you up. You'll feel better, and then you'll look better.

[carols_e]

Hi goldenbrunette its ok to be superficial we all are to some extent or we probably wouldn't be hanging out on this forum learning how to make our manes look better . Remember the better you feel on the inside the brighter your beauty shines on the outside. Also others see the beauty in you that you can't see. Just keep going in the healthy direction and feel good about every little acomplishment you make and love yourself no matter what because your just beautiful because your you!

[Kirin]

The way you are feeling about yourself is basically a self fulfilling prophecy.

Simple, to the point, but true.

The only way to change that is to change the way you think, and not care about others perceptions of you.