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Thread: Would you make a change to your hair that your SO told you he wouldn't like?

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    Member jujube's Avatar
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    Default Would you make a change to your hair that your SO told you he wouldn't like?

    I'm thinking of starting to use henna to get red highlights, maybe sort of an auburn tint, don't know yet how it'll come out but definitely reddish. (Yes I know it's permanent, but anyways if I decide to grow out my natural color, my hair isn't that long, that's not the deal here.)

    I have naturally dark brown hair and eyes but very fair skin and I've always felt that my dark hair made me look even paler. I've been a redhead before, I loved it and got a lot of compliments. I'm looking for a change and I've been contemplating going red(der) again. I just asked my boyfriend on chat if he'd see me as a redhead, and he said NO, big no-no, I don't like redheads, only brunettes. I asked him what he'd do if I showed up with red hair, and he told me he wouldn't like it and would find me less attractive, and then logged off abruptly (a bit inconsiderate but he'll apologize later, I know him).

    Now I know my boyfriend won't like it, but I love this haircolor and it looks good on me, and I'm still tempted. Should I do it for my own sake, or will it disappoint him that I took the time to ask for his opinion and didn't consider it? Obviously it'd be upsetting for him that I didn't listen to him, but still, it's my hair, my choice, and he shouldn't think any less of me if I have a different hair color. I have a feeling that he'll be hurt because I didn't consider his opinion... So, to henna or not to henna? What would you do?

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    Member clichepithet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you make a change to your hair that your SO told you he wouldn't like?

    How do you prove you hadn't considered his opinion? By kowtowing to his wishes and doing what he wants with your body? If he's going to find you unattractive and undesirable based on something as mundane as hair color, he's not worth your time.

    Lady Legion of the Legendary Black Beast of Castle Aaughh;
    Order of the Long Hair'd K'nnnniggits


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    Member Felix_D's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you make a change to your hair that your SO told you he wouldn't like?

    My hubby doesn't like long hair at all. He thinks I'm small and cute and should have a sweet, bouncy haircut to match.

    And you know what? That does mean a lot to me. I like being beautiful in his eyes.

    I'm going to compensate with adorable accessories like sparkly headbands and silk bows. Can you do something similar? Trade it for something else he'd like?

    Also, guys don't like change. And he's probably afraid of all the attention you'd get. I know those are sweeping statements. YMMV.
    Pixie | Chin | Shoulder | APL | BSL

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    Member slythwolf's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you make a change to your hair that your SO told you he wouldn't like?

    My husband didn't want me to go red. I did it anyway because I wanted to. I also wear clothes he doesn't get and paint my nails colors he thinks are tacky. This is because it's my body. I know he's not going to actually pick a fight about any of this stuff but I also know that if he did I wouldn't stick around.

    BSL/Waist/Hip/Tailbone/Classic/Fingertip/Knee

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    Member Felix_D's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you make a change to your hair that your SO told you he wouldn't like?

    Quote Originally Posted by slythwolf View Post
    My husband didn't want me to go red. I did it anyway because I wanted to. I also wear clothes he doesn't get and paint my nails colors he thinks are tacky. This is because it's my body. I know he's not going to actually pick a fight about any of this stuff but I also know that if he did I wouldn't stick around.
    If you were my wife I'd sing lullabies to your hair every night. So beautiful!
    Pixie | Chin | Shoulder | APL | BSL

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    Member cuppycake's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by clichepithet View Post
    How do you prove you hadn't considered his opinion? By kowtowing to his wishes and doing what he wants with your body? If he's going to find you unattractive and undesirable based on something as mundane as hair color, he's not worth your time.
    i agree 100% My hubby likes certain hair colors more than others but every time I dye my hair he seems to love it no matter the color because he thinks I am attractive not my hair color. I know he doesn't like the orange henna look even though he hasn;t said anything to me. I just know him. But he cant get over how much he loves my hair now. Not just the color but how soft and shiny it is. He cant stop touching it and he loves brushing it. Supposedly blonds are his favorite but he never acted this way when I had blond hair. Maybe cuz it just didn't feel nice. I think guys like soft touchable hair more than a certain color. JMO.

    Quote Originally Posted by slythwolf View Post
    My husband didn't want me to go red. I did it anyway because I wanted to. I also wear clothes he doesn't get and paint my nails colors he thinks are tacky. This is because it's my body. I know he's not going to actually pick a fight about any of this stuff but I also know that if he did I wouldn't stick around.
    your hair is a beautiful color in your siggy pic!
    Last edited by Finoriel; December 18th, 2010 at 04:54 AM. Reason: merged posts to multiquote

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    Member Hana212's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you make a change to your hair that your SO told you he wouldn't like?

    I was brunette when I met DBF, and he always said he only liked brunettes... one day I decided that I missed being blonde and began the process of dying it back to blonde.
    He now loves me blonde and doesn't want me to ever change..
    Also - I put up with his changes.. movember = sleazy looking "I'm here to clean your pool" moustache followed up by shaving his head (which I didn't want him to do) but his life not mine.. you have to be understanding of each others wishes.
    I still love him

    One thing to think on - "if he doesn't like me with a different hair colour, what would happen if I was in a car accident and physically disfigured forever - he would probably leave"

    *not saying that about my DBF he's amazing - just a good thing to think about in any relationship...

    Sorry I'm rambling...

    Lady Coppelia of the White Way of Delight in the Order of the Long Haired Knights

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    Member jujube's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you make a change to your hair that your SO told you he wouldn't like?

    I've asked this question on other boards as well and ALL the answers I got told me that if I really want to do it, then I just do it. I think my decision is taken. If my boyfriend really makes a fuss out of it, I'll have to reconsider the seriousness of our relationship.

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    Member Felix_D's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you make a change to your hair that your SO told you he wouldn't like?

    Quote Originally Posted by jujube View Post
    I think my decision is taken.
    Please post a henna thread, from ordering through oxidation! I love seeing the henna pictures.
    Pixie | Chin | Shoulder | APL | BSL

  10. #10
    Member jujube's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you make a change to your hair that your SO told you he wouldn't like?

    Also, my boyfriend sported a mohawk ending in a RAT TAIL for a few months. I never told him I didn't like it, and at the time I don't even think I actually had an opinion about it, I just found him hot no matter what. Will definitely be doing my own thing, thanks for the support and making me think rationally.

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