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Thread: My Mother's Rude Comment - how would you have handled it?

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    Default My Mother's Rude Comment - how would you have handled it?

    First, I've got to say that my mother hates long hair. She was in beauty school when I was a young girl and she chopped my hair off every chance she could. In fact, I did even have long hair until I moved away from home. To give you more background on me, 23 years ago I married a man who grew up in the LDS Church. No, I did not convert to become Mormon, but he does not go to church or practice the religion. Over the weekend, when I saw my mother (I wore my hair down that day), she said, "you cannot possibly like having hair that long - what is that a Mormon thing." I told her no that it wasn't a Mormon thing and I loved wearing my hair really long because it is different and I do not look like everyone else.

    Have you ever received rude comments like this from family members or others? How do you handle it? Yes, she said it with a smirky tone and hurt my feelings like normal.

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    Member aenflex's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Mother's Rude Comment - how would you have handled it?

    I wouldn't let it bother me that badly. Everyone has their own opinions. It wasn't exactly nice of her, I agree totally, but at the same time it's your hair and your choice. So opinions of others can be just that, opinions of others.
    We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves. - Dalai Lama

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    Member chelles2kids's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Mother's Rude Comment - how would you have handled it?

    "Mom...I love you *BUT* I am not here to decorate you're world!"
    Michelle in middle Tennessee!

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    Member Marjolein's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Mother's Rude Comment - how would you have handled it?

    Unfortunately the people closest to us can hurt us the most. My grandma absolutely hates red hair (and I'm a henna head). She seems to think that red headed women have loose moral standards, to put it decently. Thanks, gran!

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    Doomed to Repeat History Nae's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Mother's Rude Comment - how would you have handled it?

    OP, I thought that you handled it quite well. You told her it wasn't religious and that you enjoyed it that way. Good on ya!

    Do what I do, when you see a hair complainer coming just try to........
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    Member Coan-Teen's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Mother's Rude Comment - how would you have handled it?

    Ask her if she accidentally cut off the filter on what not to say when she last cut her hair. =P I can be very rude when people make rude comments and I see your point of view on this one. Alternatively you could try talking to her about how comments about your hair make you feel rejected because your hair is very important to you.
    ~Lady Menrva of the Cat-Kept Library in the Order of the Long Haired Knights~
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    warm weather enthusiast mrs_coffee's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Mother's Rude Comment - how would you have handled it?

    I think your answer was good. I would have answered the same way, "Nope, I just like it" and changed the subject. Lots of times people make comments like that because they want to get under your skin and provoke a reaction. If you seem unaffected it takes the fun out of it for them.

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    Brump! Siava's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Mother's Rude Comment - how would you have handled it?

    My mom is notorious for snarkiness when it comes to my hair. What's strange is, when I was a teenager I had hair to my waist. She gushed over it and griped when I started dying and playing with different haircuts. My hair was still past the shoulders, but she wouldn't shut up about it. Then, when I divorced at 28, I chopped it all off - almost shaved. She griped about that. When it started growing out it was super curly and she went back to gushing. When she realized I was letting it grow out to get long again, she flip flopped back to griping. She's finally shut up about it now because I told her off on more than one occassion to give it a rest already. I'm NOT cutting it and I DO like it. It's MY hair so stop already! She hasn't peeped a bit about my hair in a few months.

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    Default Re: My Mother's Rude Comment - how would you have handled it?

    Saiva - Do you actually think that it's possible that mothers can be jealous of their daughters? Sure sounds that way in your case.

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    Member virgo75's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Mother's Rude Comment - how would you have handled it?

    Kc, I think you handled your mother's comment very well.

    I love my mother and respect her, but she tends to be very negative and mostly has negative things to say. I've learned to pretty much just let it be when she says something negative because I know that's just how she is.

    The only time I put forth the energy to respond is if she says something negative in reference to my children. She hasn't said anything snarky about or to my children in years.

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