So I am sure some of your regulars have noticed I have not been around much. Grad school and a new project (will talk about it in my blog later) has kept my busy. While grad school has kept me busy and stressed me out, that is not why I need a hug.
My hair is so thin now.
I lost probably 1/4 to 1/3 the thickness of my ponytail thanks to my surgery. For almost 3 weeks straight I was combing (gently) out close to 100 hairs a day or more (I know 100 is average for a person, but my average was more like 20 or below.) Just a 30 minutes ago, I probably combed out between 50-75 hairs.
I have been babying my hair like crazy. I put moisture into it, I have upped my protein intake and pills for hair health (biotin, selenium, herbal pills, etc), oiled it and left it alone for a few days, kept it in my satin cap at night, I even gave up swimming for the time being so I would not have to use the harsh shampoos on it to get the chemicals out and it's still thinning.
"Look forward to the halos!" or "Think of all the baby hairs!" isn't really helping me to be comfortable with this. I am so frustrated part of me wants to just shave it all off, but I know that (1) wont solve anything and (2) will erase the year and a half I have been growing out my virgin hair. I was going to cut off the dyed part eventually when my virgin hair was longer (only about 8.5 inches at the moment, might cut off the dye when virgin hair is at about 42 [where I am now.. or was before this shed]) but it's not worth it to me right now.
Summer is coming and I know I will wear my hair up most of the time anyways because of the heat, but it's like a disgusting scar that you have on your body. You may be able to cover it with clothes, but you know its there. And, I will admit it, I do like to wear my hair down occasionally just for the "Oooh" factor I get from some people. (Low self-esteem, my hair actually boosts it for me.) I just really needed a place to cry to and no one in my life outside this computer would understand, except maybe my fiancé and mother, but they have heard me cry enough I don't want to be a burden.
The only positive I can think of right now is that I do have a lot of hair toys so no matter what I am wearing I will have a hair toy for it. Eight ficcares, countless hair sticks both store bought and home made, hair forks, a snood, bun covers, scarves, slides, barettes and hair screws. I feel guilty for being sad when I look at my options and how well my buns can still hide how thin my hair has become and that just adds to my misery.
Does anyone have any advice?
Here are some pictures of my hair's condition. They are both from about 10 minutes ago. You can really see my virgin hair now too.
.....
Also, on an unrelated side note, it's been 1 month since my birthday and my stupid new MP3 Player isn't here yet that we ordered!
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