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Thread: How to gently persuade my BF to grow his hair?! (TMI???)

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    Member StormVixen's Avatar
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    Default How to gently persuade my BF to grow his hair?! (TMI???)

    (sorry wasn't sure if to post here or "friendship" or even if i should post at all! feel free to move or whatever)

    Ok, I know this is extreamly shallow of me but it's really starting to bother me...

    My BF has hair less than 1cm long all over... and I am so "in to" long haired men I just cant help myself looking at them!

    He thinks there is something really wrong with our relationship or with my health or mentality because he cant get me in the mood... I find myself fantasising about Jack Sparrow, Generic Hippies and Lord of the Rings men... lol...

    Maybe i should jus talk to him, but i think he might think that I'm trying to turn him into my ex (who had hair longer than me), I'm not trying to do that...

    Gah... I don't know... It's REALLY stressing me out... (we all know stress causes hair-loss and we dont want that!!!)

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    Member Lamb's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to gently persuade my BF to grow his hair?! (TMI???)

    I only know that expecting your partner to conform to your fantasies is unfair and shallow.
    How would you feel if he expected you to alter some part of your appearance so that you looked like his favourite fantasy-girl?

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    Onward and Upward GoddesJourney's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to gently persuade my BF to grow his hair?! (TMI???)

    Well, it could be that he's not your type. I'm quite attracted to my husband with a buzzed head or with hair. When I met him he had about four inches of shaggy hair that was completely unkempt. He later shaved it and that was a nice improvement. However, he does have naturally very beautiful hair and what I didn't know was that he secretly liked it. I convinced him to not cut his hair until summer. Inertia works in my favor because he's lazy about stuff like shaving and has nothing to buzz his hair with anyway. Also, it's much colder here than where he's from, so he needed a little hair to keep him warm. I compliment him daily on how beautiful his "flip length" hair is and how he's going to give me such beautiful children. He's come to love his hair, too. He's going to cut it soon, though, because it's getting in his eyes and the headband thing would apparently be "way too gay". Really. I actually think it looks kind of sexy, like celebrity working out that has too much money to care if someone thinks it "looks gay". He has to shave it for the Army in a few months anyway, so I'll take some pictures and he already promised to grow it again when he gets out, whenever that is.

    For cool tips on life, check out my blog, How to Be Awesome, For Free, a survival guide for surviving in style.

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    Member StormVixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to gently persuade my BF to grow his hair?! (TMI???)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lamb View Post
    I only know that expecting your partner to conform to your fantasies is unfair and shallow.
    How would you feel if he expected you to alter some part of your appearance so that you looked like his favourite fantasy-girl?
    Awww i know... i feel horrible about it! and creepy... he's so good to me... and I'm just shallow and horrible thinking about long hair...

    how to i get over it...? i dont know...

    I guess i've got some kind of long hair obsession... i'm not a weirdo perv tho! at least i hope i'm not... if i am, i'm sorry...

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    Member HintOfMint's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to gently persuade my BF to grow his hair?! (TMI???)

    Yes, I advise you to, in your words, "get over it." He makes the effort to try to turn you on, treats you well, and you slap him in the face with unfair comparisons to celebrities, fantasy characters, and (from his perspective) your ex boyfriend. Have some compassion for the poor fellow. I am a girl and I have had a (now ex)boyfriend compare me to other girls, and it hurt. BADLY. I apologize for being a bit harsh, but I believe this situation provides a very important lesson for any relationship.

    I understand that physical attraction is a big component to a healthy relationship, and I can see if a drastic change was made to one's appearance that it might alter one's attractiveness to their significant other. But you didn't mention any drastic change. For all we know, your boyfriend had a buzz cut from the day you met him. You knew who you got into a relationship with and that person came with short hair. Men and women are not fixer-uppers, they're people.

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    Member HintOfMint's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to gently persuade my BF to grow his hair?! (TMI???)

    As to how you can get over it, try focusing on what does turn you on about him. Does he have nice shoulders, is he a good kisser... etc? Fantasize about him as he is, with short hair.

    If you genuinely are not attracted to him, then it's not fair to him to continue a relationship.

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    Queen of Pentacles jera's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to gently persuade my BF to grow his hair?! (TMI???)

    I'd play with his hair ( what there is of it ), and tell him how gorgeous he'd look with longer hair. Betcha he grows it. If not he's probably not your type.
    It's not shallow to have preferences. Life is short. Why shouldn't you want to be sexually attracted to your own BF.


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    Member Lykaios's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to gently persuade my BF to grow his hair?! (TMI???)

    When I started dating my DBF five years ago, he had lovely, long coal dark locks. When he cut it off last July I was devastated. I really miss his hair, and I wish he would grow it back, but I still find him attractive. Its one thing to start out this way, but if your man had short hair from the beginning, why did you date him when you didn't like it?
    )°•.Lady Elenwë of the Shining Stars in the Order of the Long Haired Knights!.°(

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    Hiding in plain sight spidermom's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to gently persuade my BF to grow his hair?! (TMI???)

    I've kind of got the same issue. Love long hair; husband keeps his less than 1-inch short all over. I can close my eyes and think about any hair that I want to, though. (PS - it goes both ways. He doesn't like my dye. I do.)

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    Member StormVixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to gently persuade my BF to grow his hair?! (TMI???)

    Quote Originally Posted by HintOfMint View Post
    Yes, I advise you to, in your words, "get over it." He makes the effort to try to turn you on, treats you well, and you slap him in the face with unfair comparisons to celebrities, fantasy characters, and (from his perspective) your ex boyfriend. Have some compassion for the poor fellow. I am a girl and I have had a (now ex)boyfriend compare me to other girls, and it hurt. BADLY. I apologize for being a bit harsh, but I believe this situation provides a very important lesson for any relationship.

    I understand that physical attraction is a big component to a healthy relationship, and I can see if a drastic change was made to one's appearance that it might alter one's attractiveness to their significant other. But you didn't mention any drastic change. For all we know, your boyfriend had a buzz cut from the day you met him. You knew who you got into a relationship with and that person came with short hair. Men and women are not fixer-uppers, they're people.
    Don't worry bout being harsh, it's needed... I also know what its like to be compared and tried to be changed, its happened to me also...

    I do hate myself for what I'm feeling, and I've tried to stop what I'm feeling because I know its wrong especially because he is a really great BF.

    I haven't compared him to celebrities really... only think about them (not really a "them" I'm not so much into celebrities as I am to long hair) to "get me going" maybe I do have some kind of problem cos i dont get "into it" ever really...

    My BF is awesome, I'm with him for his personality firstly... but if I were to go for somone for looks alone my main priority would have to be long hair...

    Sorry my writing is so disjointed, I'm just trying to think what to write...

    I'm embarressed about this now, cos I'm thinking that I have some kind o physical or mental problem with "it"...

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