I've definitely dealt with henna not staining properly on only some of my hair. For me it is dependent on the percentage of henna in the mix and how long I leave it on. I seem to get proper staining on my resistant sections with almost 100% henna left on at least 3 hours. Didn't stick well when I tried 2 hours once. These days I dye release at room temp for 8 hours. I also do a strong chelating and clarifying prior to henna. Some say you can use a bit of dawn dish soap to roughen up the cuticle.
As far as the smell goes, I can't promise you'll learn to absolutely love it, but I certainly did. I tried a chemical temporary dye recently just for fun and the smell was so horrible. When I hennaed my hair again the other night, I just layed in bed after washing it out and basked in the hay smell, haha. I felt like my body was saying "Yes! That's the stuff!" Can't say I felt that way when I first started hennaing. Boyfriend doesn't seem to notice the smell unless he gets close enough, so I doubt you smell strongly to others. I only notice it when my hair is wet for the first couple days after applying. Doing a full head, it's obviously way stronger than roots only.
Also, something I've learned recently is that the term "dry hair" is a bit of a misnomer for hair that is actually damaged, or perhaps just needs clarifying, chelating, conditioning, or all of the above. Apparently hair with more moisture, which literally just means more water, was rated by people as being the most "dry" feeling and looking. I can attest to that after spending a summer in the south of the US where the humidity was around 80%... It's funny that "dry" and "moisturized" became the defacto terminology, probably cemented into our shared consciousness by marketing. I think it's similar to how parabens and sulfates became demonized, and since demand creates supply, the popularity of sulfate- and paraben-free products seems to reinforce the misinformation... Anyways, all that to say that I'm curious what your hair routine is. Perhaps you have a lot of build up that is preventing henna from properly staining. Some people say it doesn't matter, and that may be true for them, but YMMV. In my case at least, all those variables matter greatly.
Edit: also I find it helpful to shampoo really really well after henna to get it off the scalp. When I get henna rinsing off after applying on the second shampoo a couple days later (I shampoo with sulfates every other day), it's usually just henna coming off the scalp. I know that to be true because I can scratch my scalp and see a reddish brown build up under my nails. It never washes out after that. Do you shampoo after doing henna? Some people condition only, but conditioner is really not meant to be anywhere near the scalp...
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