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Thread: Miss Manners' views on long hair

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    Member Paliele's Avatar
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    Default Miss Manners' views on long hair

    So I've been reading Miss Manners' Guide to Rearing Perfect Children (because...um...I don't know why. I don't have kids, nor do I plan on any in the near future. I tend to devour any book I can get my hands on, relevant to my current life circumstances or not.) and I came across one entry asking the age-apropriateness of long hair. I found Miss Manner's answer very interesting, and thought I would share:

    "Fashion has retained the essence of the old-fashioned custom of a lady's putting up her hair on reaching maturity by frequently assuring women that shourt hair is more flattering and more appropriate than long to anyone over twenty-five. Actually, long hair put up achieves the same effect, only (in the opinion of such romantics as Miss Manners) better. As you will learn from looking at nineteenth-century fashion plates or paintings, the basic "bun" can be adapted to any type of hair or face, and a slightly slipshod look is considered part of the charm. It is as appropriate for daytime as for evening, when fancy combs or flowers may be added. Besides, when your husband begins to look forward to watching the ritual of your slowly taking down your hair at night, for his eyes alone, daytime fashions will seem less important to you both."

    Interesting, yes?

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    Default Re: Miss Manners' views on long hair

    Very! Hooray for Miss Manners I am a regular reader of her column in the Boston Sunday Globe Magazine and I find I rarely disagree with her. It's interesting that the "avatar" that accompanies her column is a pixie-cut. I wonder if she's growing it out in real life?
    Lady Marigold of the Far Plains in the Order of the Long Haired Knights

  3. #3

    Default Re: Miss Manners' views on long hair

    I don't know. It seems she is acknowledging the fact that long hair is unacceptable in society after the age of twenty-five, but you do not have to cut your hair to conform, you can wear it up and hide it all in a bun.

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    Floppy Buns RavennaNight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Miss Manners' views on long hair

    I'm not a fan of the idea that women over 25 must wear their hair up in a bun. The way she describes buns she is equating them with what is acceptable for "older" women. I personally don't like buns, as they are very severe for my face, and the aesthetic quality of a sock bun is the exception. Age is just a number. Requiring a woman of a certain age to wear a bun is as offensive as requiring a woman of a certain age to cut their hair off. And not all husbands love their women hiding their hair in buns all day. My husband shares my dislike of buns, and the only updo he likes is a ponytail. I think this article adds to the misconception that buns are "old lady styles." and I do not appreciate the age cutoff being lowered again, now to 25. First it was 40. Then 30. Now 25? Gimmie a break.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Miss Manners' views on long hair

    It is a very antiquated notion that woman with long hair should not be over a certain age. (or put it up if they are)
    Miss Manners lost me at the notion of "perfect children" LMAO!!!

    Is she still living in the fairy tale land of Little house on the Prairie?
    Hell, most people do not even have husbands anymore.
    IMO the chick needs to retire.
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    Default Re: Miss Manners' views on long hair

    the hair up after 25 was originally around 20 back in the 1800's and before.
    This is what i'm gunna guess what she is reffering to when she says to cut or wear your hair up after 25 but dont take my word for it.

    most all young ladies/girls wore their hair down or partually up to show that they were young i will use the term maidens due to the fact that i work at a renaissance festival.
    Once they became of age they were required to put their hair up otherwise it would deem them harlots or very naughty ladies.
    before Queen Elizabeth I took the throne it was required for sanitation reasons to have your hair covered but that was nixed after Bess took the throne.
    In teh victorian era it was a huge deal for a girl to beable to put all her hair up and normally got her 'comming of age' picture taken at this point. i have several family photographs that hint torwards this.
    this is just my guess though.
    All in all the basic 'manners' supposedly still applies.

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    Member apynip's Avatar
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    Default Re: Miss Manners' views on long hair

    Quote Originally Posted by Amraann View Post
    It is a very antiquated notion that woman with long hair should not be over a certain age. (or put it up if they are)
    Miss Manners lost me at the notion of "perfect children" LMAO!!!

    Is she still living in the fairy tale land of Little house on the Prairie?
    Hell, most people do not even have husbands anymore.
    IMO the chick needs to retire.
    I agree that its a very old tradition and there is a very overrated notion that one can have 'perfect' children although her books are only a guide to raise what i like to call the 'nuclear' family. (1950's referance.)

    Though i disagree that she lives in the ideals of little house on the prairie. Manners have always been important in life and i use them even as a 17 year old and respect them. She does have a some what severe ideal for them but its a guideline not a rule book.

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    Default Re: Miss Manners' views on long hair

    I got a totally different read on it. It seemed to me that she was saying it was not necessary to have short hair after a certain age, and that this fixation that you must have short hair once you are XX age or older was an outmoded ARTIFACT from the time when mature women wore their hair up as a matter of course, and I also thought she was praising the versatility of long hair, the fact that updos can be flattering to any face shape or hair type, and that there was a certain special pleasure in having the long hair as a "secret" to share between intimate partners. I didn't get the sense at all that she was bashing long hair or dictating how it must be worn.

    color me confused...
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    Oddly Enchanted BranwenWolf's Avatar
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    Default Re: Miss Manners' views on long hair

    I like that she supports the idea that buns aren't just for grandmas or women looking to be inconspicuous.
    I also think letting my hair down for a man is sexy.

    Very interesting article. I loved Miss Manners take on phones too- that they're annoying and rude.
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    Default Re: Miss Manners' views on long hair

    Quote Originally Posted by Fiferstone View Post
    I got a totally different read on it. It seemed to me that she was saying it was not necessary to have short hair after a certain age, and that this fixation that you must have short hair once you are XX age or older was an outmoded ARTIFACT from the time when mature women wore their hair up as a matter of course, and I also thought she was praising the versatility of long hair, the fact that updos can be flattering to any face shape or hair type, and that there was a certain special pleasure in having the long hair as a "secret" to share between intimate partners. I didn't get the sense at all that she was bashing long hair or dictating how it must be worn.

    color me confused...
    That's pretty much how I interpreted it, too. The idea that she was saying we have to wear it up in public didn't occur to me until the others said it.

    Now, I have to say it does seem a little like she is implying that putting the hair up is more appropriate after a certain age, but I still give Miss Manners a thumbsup. I like her, too.

    And I'll always wear my hair however I please. I don't give a rat's patootie what anyoneelse thinks of it. As long as DH and I are happy (well, mostly me ), it's all good. He tends not to like buns much. He likes braids and ponytails...which is what I prefer as well.

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