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Thread: My hair looks and feels horrible. MUST get it into shape.

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    Unhappy My hair looks and feels horrible. MUST get it into shape.



    Please give me guidance and ! My hair type is listed in my avatar section. It is naturally quite dry.

    I desperately need suggestions please to get me on the right track. At the moment I CO and use a little Biolage Matrix Condish Balm as a leave-in mixed with a drop or two of avocado oil. The first clean day it looks shiny and feels alright-ish. It never feels soft like it used to when I started CO and the day or two after I wash it looks and feels horrid - dry, coarse, tangled... I used cassia last Saturday. There are splits EVERYWHERE. I never brush, only use a horn comb and my fingers. I do S&D missions for splits but there are so many of them now it's ridiculous.

    So, I know there are a few basic things I should try first -

    • clarify with suflate-free poo, maybe follow with a very dilute ACV rinse,
    • maybe do a heavy oiling before I clarify,
    • wear it up for a few weeks, see if that helps.
    If anyone has any ideas or suggestions that would be great. If anyone just has words of encouragement that would be wonderful too because I am feeling so disappointed with myself at the mo - I can't help but feel that I'm doing something wrong here. There's no way I'm at the stage where I'm contemplating cutting it but my hair is nothing to be proud of recently and that's a horrible feeling!

    Thank you in advance.

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    On the plus side, at least the biggest problem I have right now is hair and not something trivial, like, you know, a mortgage, divorce, family illness...

    Just reminding myself to keep it in perspective!

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    Member akka naeda's Avatar
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    I had a similar problem a few weeks ago - loads of splits. I was thinking of trimming off a whole lot off to get rid of the splits, but instead I washed it, remembered that when it was really nice I made a point of making it wet (wetter than misting but not so wet it drips) and then putting a light oiling over that two or three times a week, instead of just once a week. I have no new splits. Perhaps tiny ones, but these were great big things - 1/2" or more of split appearing overnight, and sometimes halfway up the hair. It'd depend on how often you need to wash your hair anyway, but for me the combination of wet hair and oil really helps.

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    Eternal APL Katze's Avatar
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    It kind of sounds like you could have buildup.

    When I tried CO, it was wonderful at first, and then started being like you describe. I tried baking soda, vinegar, everything...then a natural sulfate shampoo. WOW, my hair was suddenly shiny, smooth, and felt good.

    So I stayed with shampoo, and it works well for me. I wash every other wash -or so - WO, which keeps my hair moisturized, but which, I notice, doesn't get it really clean.

    Another thing I noticed is that you mention splits, dryness, etc. Could it be that your hair likes 'cones? I was totally against them, but the overall condition of my ends looks and feels much better with them. I don't use them every wash, either.

    hth!

    Katze
    Feb 2013, solid BSL again but shedding. Wondering if this is really terminal length. Hairtype 1b/2b, F/M, ii

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    Member Lamb's Avatar
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    I don't know if clarifying with a sulfate-free shampoo would help. If you want to clarify, perhaps use a sulfate-shampoo, one with sodium laureth sulfate?
    Other than that: could it be protein-overload? I don't know the ingredients in the things you use, but too much protein usually results in what you describe.
    I, too, struggle with hay-like hair. Actually, what helped me most was using nothing but water and a little diluted shampoo on the scalp. CO is all right, if I don't overdo it, but I cannot CO twice in a row without a huge shedding.

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    Admirer of Fairytale Ends seabear's Avatar
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    Katze and Lamb both brought up the points I wanted to make, buildup and protein. The only thing I haven't yet seen mentioned is to try a vinegar rinse. It always, ALWAYS helps my hair, gives it shine and softness and a fresh start.

    I sympathize, I have 2C/3A hair as well, and it's a troublesome type! I have tried all the LHC trends, CO, WO, no sulfates, no 'cones.... I keep coming back to the same routine.
    - I wash every 4 or 4 days, using shampoo every other wash (usually with a CWC technique, and my shampoo and condish have 'cones) and CO on the in between washes (using VO5 condish and LOTS of it, then my usually coney condish afterward);
    - vinegar rinse once a month or so; use a shea butter-based leave-in after a wash;
    - My own version of Kimberlily's defrizz spray daily, sometimes twice a day. It's water, aloe vera gel, jojoba oil, and lavender oil for scent, and my hair loves it. It makes my hair soft and supple, really helps keep down the frizz, and makes it smell wonderful.
    - I never use baking soda to clarify, it dries my hair out. I know lots of people swear by it, but my hair hates it.

    Lastly, if you have many, many split ends, like too many to handle with S&D, you might want to consider a tiny trim so you get a fresh start with tidy ends. Those splits will tangle your hair like mad, and possibly cause even more. Good luck!

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    Member aisling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pariate View Post


    Please give me guidance and ! My hair type is listed in my avatar section. It is naturally quite dry.

    I desperately need suggestions please to get me on the right track. At the moment I CO and use a little Biolage Matrix Condish Balm as a leave-in mixed with a drop or two of avocado oil. The first clean day it looks shiny and feels alright-ish. It never feels soft like it used to when I started CO and the day or two after I wash it looks and feels horrid - dry, coarse, tangled... I used cassia last Saturday. There are splits EVERYWHERE. I never brush, only use a horn comb and my fingers. I do S&D missions for splits but there are so many of them now it's ridiculous.

    So, I know there are a few basic things I should try first -

    • clarify with suflate-free poo, maybe follow with a very dilute ACV rinse,
    • maybe do a heavy oiling before I clarify,
    • wear it up for a few weeks, see if that helps.

    If anyone has any ideas or suggestions that would be great. If anyone just has words of encouragement that would be wonderful too because I am feeling so disappointed with myself at the mo - I can't help but feel that I'm doing something wrong here. There's no way I'm at the stage where I'm contemplating cutting it but my hair is nothing to be proud of recently and that's a horrible feeling!

    Thank you in advance.
    Clarify with a sulphate free shampoo? Is that even possible? If you're going to clarify, throw in the heavy stuff, good, cleansing sulphates and it might actually clarify your hair, if that's what you need.

    I wrote a long list in another thread just a few minutes ago, but as a CO:er I want to ask: do you use only that one conditioner when you CO? I always use two, first a light one that work as a cleansing agent, then a heavier to condition my ends. After rinsing out that, I put some coconut oil on my still wet ends, that works well.

  8. #8
    Member lora410's Avatar
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    it sounds alot like my hair when it had big time buildup (where talking yrs worth) I clarified, heavily oiled, and then co'd it out and that helped tons. I use natural oil as a leave in. Right now I use a poo bar, acv rinse, and light oiling. Poo bars have been the best thing that has happened to my hair!
    Last edited by lora410; April 11th, 2008 at 06:12 AM. Reason: Typos
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  9. #9

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    I agree with everyone who diagnoses build up. I had a lot of build up that I didn't even realize I had until I started experimenting with CV bars. They were working nice for my husband, son and daughter so I knew that my problem wasn't merely with my water. So I started clarifying and moisturizing.
    One thing I've found that is really helping to soften my hair (but I think clarifying comes first) is using cassia. I have to really concentrate on moisturizing my hair after a treatment but my hair seems to be getting softer and stronger and I can finally use the CV bars.
    We do have water that is a bit on the hard side and I wash my hair in the tub with a nice soak. Adding baking soda to my bath water is really helping my hair as well. I'm not sure if it's partly due to baking soda helping with clarifying or if it is due to the softening effect it has on the water - perhaps the effect is one in the same - but for whatever reason this has helped me too.
    I also agree that keeping the hair moist by misting and then adding a bit of coconut or EVOO is a good thing to try, it has been helpful to me.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by aisling View Post
    Clarify with a sulphate free shampoo? Is that even possible?
    I use MOP's clarifying shampoo. It's sulfate free. I'm not terribly knowledgable on ingredients, but I trust them. It's also cone free. Obviously there's some kind of detergent in there, just not a sulfate-based one.

    Thank you so much for all your suggestions. You've all been lovely I'm going to wash my hair now with the clarifying shampoo, then heavy oil and wash that out either with CO or with indian herbs (my delivery arrived this morning, yay!). I heard it's best to clarify before starting herb washing, so the timing is perfect.

    I'll post back with my results. I hope it's just build up. I found a spare spritzer bottle just now so I'll try that mist you've all recommended.

    Thank you again!

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