Hi, this is my first time posting.

I came here in desperation after cutting my hair for about the 10th time this week. Let me explain... I think I have a condition called "hair-cut-o-mania".
I'm 19 years old, and I haven't had long hair since grade 2 (when I was about 7). In grade 6 it was semi long, but I've never had it past my shoulders since.

After high school finished a while ago I had a breakdown of some sort and decided to cut my hair. Then I decided to shave a strip of my hair off because I didn't like my haircut.
Then I went to my hairdresser so she could 'fix up' my mistake, but it was really obvious so I decided to let her "do something funky" with it. Only it was the most horrible, horrible, ridiculous haircut in the world.

She had shaved one chunk, grew out long another part, had another part extremely short, and the back of my hair was diagonal, and shaved all underneath. It was disgusting.
Anyway, it's 5 months later now, and I had to self-trim (too embarrassed to go to a hairdresser) to try and make it even, and I wasn't satisfied...

So every time I went into the bathroom I'd try to correct it... until the point where all my 'growing out' was useless, because I had gotten ridden of it. It's like I am addicted to cutting my hair and I won't simply let it grow partly because I'm so impatient and partly because my hair grows so slow, I just get frustrated and take it out on myself.

I have desired long, beautiful hair for 3 years. I actually get depressed thinking about it. I know I don't have a real (technical) question, but I was just wondering if any of you know a way to distract myself, or have any suggestions...? My hair is still currently uneven, and I'm wondering what length to grow it out to in order to get a trim to even it out.

I would really appreciate any advice, any words of wisdom (or personal experience)... I'm really going crazy and don't know how to leave my hair alone.
Thanks so much, Emma.

P.S Would it help if I posted a picture? Maybe you can tell me how I should get it cut in a way that it will grow out well into long hair- if that makes sense. Or perhaps you could link me to a picture of short hair that is a good style for growing out...?