What am I doing wrong?

[filiadeluna]

My hair is (chemical) color treated, and the ends are very dry. The length is somewhat dry, and the roots (as they grow out) are comparatively oily. *le sigh* Please don't judge on the chemical dye thing. I considered henna or henna + indigo for awhile, but didn't want the hassle of it. I have been dyeing my hair at home since I was a teenager, and while I used to go with shades of red, I started dyeing it dark brown/black several months ago.

I only touch up the roots every 4 months or so b/c my roots hardly show. I was just going to let it grow out to my natural color, and when I get to my desired length, chop off the dyed part. However, my scalp gets very oily (and sometimes dandruffy) and my ends are dry. So in order to avoid having to wash my hair daily, I have to keep dyeing it. *ugh* I also don't want to risk further damage by stripping the hair and dyeing it back completely to my natural color (which is only about 2 shades lighter than the dye).

So I generally only use shampoo on the scalp - 2-3x a week with the CWC method (Suave Clarifying shampoo 1 of those days, Burt's Bees More Moisture another, and Christophe Purely Natural the other), and add additional leave-in conditioner or jojoba oil to the ends afterwards to help detangle. I do S&D every few months. Not sure what I'm doing wrong.

I forgot to mention that the regular conditioner I usually use is Burt’s Bees More Moisture, and the leave-in is Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine. Not sure if those contain cones or not, but I can’t seem to find enough info on them online. I also use a V05 detangler on occasion. Do detanglers contain silicones or sulphates?

[spidermom]

You might need an all-over trim. It's so beneficial. Right off the top, I'd say don't use the clarifying shampoo unless you have buildup. It could be stimulating your oil production. Try diluting your shampoo in some warm water in a squirt bottle - like an empty shampoo or conditioner bottle. If you want to dye your hair, go ahead; no apologies necessary. But if you want to let your natural color grow out, it would seem better to me to wash a little more often than keep subjecting your scalp to dyes.

Also try different oils. My hair responds well to coconut oil and olive oil. I use them very lightly almost daily, with a heavier application when I know I'm going to wash within the next 12-24 hours.

[filiadeluna]

double post

[filiadeluna]

You might need an all-over trim. It's so beneficial. Right off the top, I'd say don't use the clarifying shampoo unless you have buildup. It could be stimulating your oil production. Try diluting your shampoo in some warm water in a squirt bottle - like an empty shampoo or conditioner bottle. If you want to dye your hair, go ahead; no apologies necessary. But if you want to let your natural color grow out, it would seem better to me to wash a little more often than keep subjecting your scalp to dyes.

Also try different oils. My hair responds well to coconut oil and olive oil. I use them very lightly almost daily, with a heavier application when I know I'm going to wash within the next 12-24 hours.

Thank you! I did the ponytail method of trimming about half an inch off a few days ago, but haven't noticed a big difference yet. Though I haven't actually even wetted my hair since Sunday b/c that's when I touched up my roots.

I've been wanting to try pure coconut oil, but the only stuff I could find was solid and sold at GNC as a supplement (and $10.99 a jar)- not necessarily intended for hair. I'm not even sure if it's pure coconut oil, but I seem to think it was.

[BlndeInDisguise]

I forgot to mention that the regular conditioner I usually use is Burt’s Bees More Moisture, and the leave-in is Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine. Not sure if those contain cones or not, but I can’t seem to find enough info on them online. I also use a V05 detangler on occasion. Do detanglers contain silicones or sulphates?

Offhand I know that the conditioner that you're using has protein in it. Maybe you're hair doesn't like protein and it's drying it out.

I'm pretty sure that quite a bit of Garnier Fructis products have cones (that's not saying your hair doesn't like cones, but it could be building up). I don't know if the one that you're using has cones or not, though.

[Iylivarae]

Most detanglers and other stuff that promises to make your hair "easier to comb" contain 'cones.

You should also try to treat your hair better - even if you continue dyeing (I also dyed for several years, which isn't a reason for apologizing... there is also a group for chemically dyed hair). E.g., you should think about how you comb your hair and using the blowdryer, etc.

[spidermom]

Coconut oil will always be solid below about 75-80 degrees. Just rub it among fingertips or palms to liquify it. It's good for both cooking and hair. A $10.99 jar would last you for years probably. A pint costs about $8.49 around here (or it might be 12 ounces). I only use about 1/8-1/4 teaspoon per application.

Since you recently trimmed 1/2 inch, you probably don't need to trim more unless your ends are splitting all over the place. When that happens, there is very little point in keeping them to "save the length" because they are likely breaking off about as fast as they grow. I recently cut off 3-4 inches of nasty, dry, split all over the place ends, and it seems that my hair is growing three times as fast as before. Of course it's hard to tell since my length changes with the degree of wave/curl on a daily basis.

[filiadeluna]

Offhand I know that the conditioner that you're using has protein in it. Maybe you're hair doesn't like protein and it's drying it out.

I'm pretty sure that quite a bit of Garnier Fructis products have cones (that's not saying your hair doesn't like cones, but it could be building up). I don't know if the one that you're using has cones or not, though.

Thanks so much for the info! I'll pass them off to some friends of mine who keep their hair short anyway so they don't care about that stuff. Why toss it if they want it? I don't like to be wasteful, you know?

Most detanglers and other stuff that promises to make your hair "easier to comb" contain 'cones.

You should also try to treat your hair better - even if you continue dyeing (I also dyed for several years, which isn't a reason for apologizing... there is also a group for chemically dyed hair). E.g., you should think about how you comb your hair and using the blowdryer, etc.

Thanks for the info on the detanglers! Another thing I'll have to toss... unfortunately. I don't know why I was so delusional hoping it would be OK.

However, I am proud to say that I almost NEVER blow dry my hair (okay maybe once a YEAR if I need it to look "perfect" for a special occasion - and I only do it on the cold setting). So that's not an issue. I also use a very wide-toothed comb 99% of the time, and use a no-snag paddle brush a couple times a week in an attempt to spread the oils from my scalp through the length. I am very, very careful when combing my hair and always start from the ends.

Coconut oil will always be solid below about 75-80 degrees. Just rub it among fingertips or palms to liquify it. It's good for both cooking and hair. A $10.99 jar would last you for years probably. A pint costs about $8.49 around here (or it might be 12 ounces). I only use about 1/8-1/4 teaspoon per application.

Since you recently trimmed 1/2 inch, you probably don't need to trim more unless your ends are splitting all over the place. When that happens, there is very little point in keeping them to "save the length" because they are likely breaking off about as fast as they grow. I recently cut off 3-4 inches of nasty, dry, split all over the place ends, and it seems that my hair is growing three times as fast as before. Of course it's hard to tell since my length changes with the degree of wave/curl on a daily basis.

I will definitely pick some coconut oil up this afternoon, then. I've been wanting it for awhile, but was worried it's not the right thing. I'll double-check the label, though, before buying it.

I do have some hairs splitting a little up higher, but that's only because my hair isn't all one length anyway. The last time I had a "real haircut" (two years ago) it was layered, and the time before that it was razored *eek*. At some point I think I will do a blunt cut, but I'm only about 6"-10" away from my ultimate goal (around hip length or slightly longer), so I think I'll wait until I'm past or closer to that point to do any major cutting.

Guess I'll be in search of some absolutely cone-free stuff tonight. I see that many of the Suave conditioners are cone-free, but what about their shampoos? I like that it's so cheap. I don't mind paying for semi-expensive stuff either b/c it lasts so long anyway. As long as it smells good and is healthy for my hair, I'm fine with it.

Lastly, I forgot to mention that my hair is pretty FINE, so I would prefer to have some sort of volumizing shampoo and/or conditioner that is also "safe".

[Nightshade]

I really agree with the advice you're gotten, good stuff.

Your hair is a lot like mine was before I switched to henna, and I did find that my damaged hair HATES straight oil. I think this in part because oil likes to grab onto protein and damaged hair tends to be protein deficient. What worked for better for me than oiling was Fox's shea butter cream which is

• 1 part cone-free conditioner
• 1 part shea butter
• 1/2 part oil of choice (I use coconut oil for this as it helps reduce protein loss).

Melt the shea and the cocconut in a warm glass bowl (don't microwave it, I put mine in a partially-filled sink of hot water), then blend in the conditioner, toss it in the freezer for a minute or two, blend, repeat until you have something that's the consistancy of frosting.

Use a pea-sized bit of that on your ends while your hair is still damp after a shower

And amen to diluting the shampoo. You may want to try a CWC with diluted shampoo.

Oh, and what about taking Colofix to your hair? That would pull the old dye out, and then you could just add the color back in with a toner/wash out dye. It'd lighten your hair up to your natural color without having to bleach it

[aisling]

Why do you feel the need to toss those detanglers? Just because of the cones? Cones aren't evil, they work great for some, bad for others and do nothing special but nothing bad either for some of us. What you do need to remember, especially when using cones, is that you might need to clarify your whole length every now and then.

About the greasy scalp, I'm going to say the same as spidermom, use less shampoo and dilute it. Washing your scalp every week with a clarifying shampoo shouldn't be necessary either. You might be cleansing your scalp too much and it reacts by producing more sebum.

Finally, about coconut oil, there's generally not any coconut oil labelled "for hair". The one used is the same you can cook with.