Kinky 4s' thread

[FroandBeyond]

Beesweet- Thank you for your input. By your post I can tell you are a very caring and responsible mother. It really shows in your research and the understanding you have with your daughters.


Labchick- Thanks for checking in. How is the growing working for you?

Hey Bellydancer- I think I know what site you are from, I am member there too. I wish you well in your journey and you can always post here in this support thread for assistance. I'm not sure if you heard of nappturality, but, sometimes you can find people in your area that may hold gatherings/ meets. Then you will know someone with natural hair and have someone to relate or discuss things with.

[Naluin]

4a checking in! Currently natural. I think about relaxing from time to time, but I doubt I could be bothered to keep it up and relaxing has always been a painful process for me.

I'm glad this thread exists.

[FroandBeyond]

Beesweet: What you wrote was beautiful. I was wiping away tears from my face. It is all emotional. Society as a whole causes so many issues for women in general. I am not saying all of us fall for it, and thankfully some of us have great mentors, but that still does not stop us from questioning our appearances, weight, hair, material items, clothing,etc.

I was crying because I got to thinking about the children I will have someday. How am I going to help them feel good about what they have if I am having issues now coping with it? I dont want them to have to deal with feelings of 'not fitting in.' The world might be a different place then, but you never know. I also thought about being pregnant and not being able to put anything in my hair for nine months and how much easier it would be not to have to worry about any of that!

I'm sure you will be a great mom. I'm not a mother,but like I said, I work in the schools. We have to go throug trials to learn, understand and love ourselves. All of these lessons is to better the adults and children that we mentor and raise.

You can do it!!

[FroandBeyond]

4a checking in! Currently natural. I think about relaxing from time to time, but I doubt I could be bothered to keep it up and relaxing has always been a painful process for me.

I'm glad this thread exists.

Hey Naluin,

glad you could joins us! How long have you been natural?

[SHADOWSCODE46]

I'm not really a 4, but if anyone has thick hair in the 3C or even 3B family, they know that this hair type can be very fickle, and have type 4 'tendencies', LOL! For example, it can afro out, and be a B*&$h to detangle on bad days. Single strand knots and all that jazz. I usually follow practices and certain products 4A's use since since 3C is kinda 4A's 1st cousin . Sometimes on certain heads, there is minuscule difference between the 2 hair types...

[Naluin]

Hey Naluin,

glad you could joins us! How long have you been natural?

It's been 3 years since my last relaxer. I've been transitioning in some form since then.

[Beesweet]

Hey Bellydancer. I'm up in Fort Laud. If you want to go natural and need some support, I know a couple of good natural salons. No distance is too far to drive for a hairstylist you can trust!

As far as your old-school Jamaican mom goes -- I know how they can be. I know a gal who came home from college with her roots grown out about three inches of new growth and her mama smacked her! No lie -- ( well, no lye, too, actually...)

We have a few old school relatives in our family, too. It's hard when you get grief from people you look to for love and acceptance. If you want to show your mom reasons why you are going natural, I have some highly magnified photos of what relaxed hairs look like. (Also something that makes me sad about my relaxed daughter! I know what the hair shafts look like and, although I know hair is "dead" magnified relaxed hair looks diseased and in pain.! I know, I am dramatic!)
There are also good books.

I am sure there are some good salons in Miami, too. I think I have a link saved that has salons in Broward/Miami-Dade. Say the word and I'll dig it up.

Also, if your man is into it -- it can be a cool trip you take together.

Don't worry about 18 inches of length. Think of the beauty of the halo!!!!
Treat all your new growth like something sweet and tender and deserving of your love and care and it will all be good.

Also, you'll have such styling options. Braided, it hangs down, banded, it puffs in the back and slicks back in the front leaving your face fresh and honest. Cornrowed -- freedom, and low profile. Scarves, bantus, twists, twist-outs. Oh and scarves! Very cool options there. Natural afro -- the "halo!"
You can get it wet. It costs almost nothing but product and hair toy obsessions.
You'll also potentially rescue your hairline.
What's not to love? Have no fear. It's a love thing. Love and fear can't coexist.

[Naluin]

Beesweet, are those photos of relaxed hair online, by chance? I'm curious to see what relaxers may have done to my hair.

[Buddaphlyy]

B Phlyy have you tried using a mixture of water, conditioner and olive oil?

I tried it, but I didn't have an exact recipe so the consistency was really off and just made my hair wet without really doing anything to it. Next time I think I'll just use glycerine in place of conditioner since a lot of people say that works better.

[FroandBeyond]

Buddaplyy- Let us know how the glycerine works for you. I tried that once and I couldn't tell a difference in my hair really. Hope it works out!