I'm not your friend anymore?

**Accolady** · November 19th, 2008, 08:12 PM

Hiya!

I'm back. While perusing the site, I noticed some of my
'friends' no longer have a checkmark on the box by their
picture. Does this indicate anything?

Perhaps "I'm not your friend anymore"?

Honestly, to each his own, but I was a little puzzled. Does
this indicate I've pithed someone off?

LOL. With humor, Karen Marie

**mira-chan** · November 19th, 2008, 08:42 PM

I've had the same thing happen with some people. Either they changed their setting so you can't friend them only have them as a contact or the server glitched and changed the settings for them. That's my best guess on what happened.

**spidermom** · November 19th, 2008, 08:57 PM

I know that certain people have been highly offended by one thing or another and dumped the friend system completely or in part because they didn't intend to be around LHC much anymore.

**getoffmyskittle** · November 19th, 2008, 09:09 PM

Everything else aside, the friend system is highly entertaining.

**CarriAnne** · November 19th, 2008, 09:55 PM

Karen Marie,

HI!!!! I'm back too, just rejoined a few days ago and still trying to figure out my way around the new boards. I lost my old profile due to new site changes. So even though I had many posts, I'm now starting over again.

How have you been? Nice to see a familar face on here!

Carri Anne
Queens, NYC

**Dianyla** · November 19th, 2008, 09:56 PM

Originally Posted by CarriAnneNYC

Karen Marie,

HI!!!! I'm back too, just rejoined a few days ago and still trying to figure out my way around the new boards. I lost my old profile due to new site changes. So even though I had many posts, I'm now starting over again.

How have you been? Nice to see a familar face on here!

Carri Anne
Queens, NYC

Carri Anne, what was your old name? I can merge you back together - your old account should still exist.

**angelthadiva** · November 19th, 2008, 10:08 PM

Welcome back!

I'm sure each person has their own reasons...Try not to take it personal.

Speaking from my own personal experience; I've had 3 members break "friendships" with me...I probably wouldn't have even noticed, because I don't even look at that page at all unless I receive a friend request, and you have to scroll past everyone to see the new one...Any how, "they" for their own reasons decided to leave; and basically wanted to close out their profile, and let me know why they were breaking the relationship.

This sounds so overly dramatic; but that is the common-speak of the site. "Friend request" "break friendship", "ignore member"...I'm sure it was nothing you did, maybe life has gotten away from them, or some other thing has come into their life.

If the friendship was one that you valued; maybe ask them directly if something happened. Some people don't like confrontation, but confrontation is a good thing...You might be able to hash out a misunderstanding and add a friendship back to your life.

Again, welcome back

Ps. I almost forgot, some people have been very vocal about not participating in the whole "friend" aspect of the community, and will not accept a request if you send it...With no exceptions...You might check their profile/blog; there are more than a few who have adopted this personal policy...My guess is privacy concerns are the motivator behind the decision and wanting control over who really "knows" who they are...

**CarriAnne** · November 19th, 2008, 10:13 PM

Thanks for trying to help! I can't even remember! I think it was either CarriAnne or Carolyn or CarolynNYC or something like that. I created CarriAnneNYC because I thought that's how I used to sign in. I was logged in all the time, and then one day came back to the site and was asked to log in. I tried unsuccessfully with a combination of all the names I'd possibly use.

I wish I saved the info somewhere on my hard drive!

**purplebubba** · November 19th, 2008, 11:04 PM

Originally Posted by CarriAnneNYC

Thanks for trying to help! I can't even remember! I think it was either CarriAnne or Carolyn or CarolynNYC or something like that. I created CarriAnneNYC because I thought that's how I used to sign in. I was logged in all the time, and then one day came back to the site and was asked to log in. I tried unsuccessfully with a combination of all the names I'd possibly use.

I wish I saved the info somewhere on my hard drive!

There's a member with the name CarriAnne listed as being in Queens NYC
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/member.php?u=202

Edit: Hi Accolady. Don't know if I've ever had you on my friends list or not but I've never had reason to be enemies or non friends.

**LisaJaney** · November 20th, 2008, 07:16 AM

KM, you are still on MY friends list. I have no idea why the things are unchecked, except what others have said here, and yeah, it happens I suppose. I have never wanted to eliminate traces or make an announcement when I leave a community. You just slip quietly away. This way, if you decide to come back, you've not burned your bridges, and you don't run the risk of someone saying "Don't let the door hit ya". But people DO do that: want to erase everything, or maybe make announcements about departure, etc. So it's possible that some have done that, and that is why their boxes went UNchecked.

Say, maybe you should stay up all night tonight just trying to figure who you offended, and which of the multitude of HEINOUS THINGS YOU SAY ticked 'em off. Bwahahahahahahaha! Seriously, how could you tick anyone off??? I can't imagine it ever happening. Not ever.

Sure is nice to see you again, you know. And I think you owe me an email...