The "No End Goal" Thread: Enjoying the Journey

[vampyyri]

I apologize if a thread like this already exists, mods feel free to merge this one if it already does.

So I'm noticing a lack of "goal-less" threads on here, and a whole lot of going from mile-marker to mile-marker/very goal-oriented discussion. I will admit, this thread was inspired by the current restructuring discussion going on for the goal threads. But for me personally, while I do enjoy "graduating" to the next thread and milestone, I also feel like I don't belong because I don't have an end goal and just kind of mosey on through them or lurk. It's a bit of imposter syndrome in a way, being the odd one out.

I'm sure there's at least a few people out there who are also growing their hair out and don't really have an end goal in mind.

Basically, my end goal is "happy". I really don't know where that is, but I'll know it when I get there

Some questions to hopefully spur a bit of discussion:

1. What was your starting point, and how long ago was it?
2. What made you decide to grow your hair?
3. Do you enjoy the process of growing your hair out?
4. If you had to make a wild guess, where do you think you'll find your hair's "sweet spot"? Have you had that length in the past?
5. Are you more interested in gaining length, or gaining thickness? Or are you just "meh" about your hair?
6. Do you trim your hair?
7. Has your routine changed since you've been on LHC?
8. Do you consider your hair to be a big part of who you are?
9. Does taking care of your hair make you happy, or is it more of a chore?
10. Do you think you are more likely to eventually land on one length, or try several different ones and change it up?

Happy growing (or not growing, you do you!) everyone

[vampyyri]

To answer my own questions:

What was your starting point, and how long ago was it?
July of 2022, I was chopping my once FTL hair one mile marker at a time after a massive shed. I got to WL and figured I'd let someone else do it to get the rest of my thinned ends off. Currently at WL stretched, a bit shorter with my natural wave.

2. What made you decide to grow your hair?
I missed the length and the buns that I used to do, mostly.

3. Do you enjoy the process of growing your hair out?
Yes, I've actually been really enjoying the growing journey. When I joined here I was at WL, and never experienced healthy hair at a shorter length.

4. If you had to make a wild guess, where do you think you'll find your hair's "sweet spot"? Have you had that length in the past?
Probably around HL? Maybe BCL? I remember really loving those lengths in the past. This time around, who knows though. I did enjoy the wow-factor of having TBL/CL too. So somewhere in the HL-CL range maybe. FTL was a nuisance and I always trimmed back up to CL.

5. Are you more interested in gaining length, or gaining thickness? Or are you just "meh" about your hair?
Length, and then trimming up to where my hemline looks healthy. So both currently a bit "meh" since I'm just letting it do it's own thing.

6. Do you trim your hair?
Not since my big chop, and not until next year because I'm doing the no trimming challenge this year. I want to grow my hair out and have the length to figure out what to do next whether it be continuing to grow or trimming.

7. Has your routine changed since you've been on LHC?
At every stage since APL it has changed a little bit. I'm trying to maintain my newfound 2c texture and have been learning as I go by skimming through threads to learn new techniques.

8. Do you consider your hair to be a big part of who you are?
Sort of, I really enjoy it! Especially with my texture that I've fully embraced and stopped trying to fight like I was ever since puberty changed it from 1a to 2c.

9. Does taking care of your hair make you happy, or is it more of a chore?
It definitely makes me happy, and I enjoy the ritual of taking care of it. I love the self care aspect of it and really take my time with it.

10. Do you think you are more likely to eventually land on one length, or try several different ones and change it up?
I'm probably in the change it up group. I can see myself reaching something like CL and chopping back up to HL and growing it back out to enjoy those lengths all over again.

[Ylva]

Hey, I think this is a fitting place for me right now! I've had my goal length set to "metal" for a good while now. What that means changes from time to time, but at this point in time, it means a soon-to-come big chop.

I at least cannot recall a thread similar to this from before.

1. What was your starting point, and how long ago was it?
When I first started growing out my hair purposefully, it was hip-length. That was, I think, 2017, but it had been at that length for many years already.

2. What made you decide to grow your hair?
I knew it was something quite easy for me to achieve as I'd always had relatively long hair "by accident" and without trying, so I wanted to see if it could become something really special and extreme. Bit of a dumb reason, really!

3. Do you enjoy the process of growing your hair out?
I'm not sure. The entire time I've been purposefully growing out, I've had significant damage in my hair, so everything has always felt like a bit of a pain.

4. If you had to make a wild guess, where do you think you'll find your hair's "sweet spot"? Have you had that length in the past?
Hmmm! I'm about to cut back to my "default length", which is hip, where I also started growing back in the days, so I think that may be the closest thing to my hair's sweet spot. In the past, it would always end up hovering somewhere around there no matter what I did to it.

5. Are you more interested in gaining length, or gaining thickness? Or are you just "meh" about your hair?
Right now, thickness! About to get rid of a whole bunch of length!

6. Do you trim your hair?
I guess about twice a year on average right now. My mom has been doing it for me the past few years.

7. Has your routine changed since you've been on LHC?
Yeah, but no meaningful changes have taken place in years now.

8. Do you consider your hair to be a big part of who you are?
Yes - but more the ideology behind it rather than the hair itself. My having long hair represents some experiences in my life that greatly contributed to the formation of my current personality. Having long natural hair fits that ideology best, so that's what I'm going for right now.

9. Does taking care of your hair make you happy, or is it more of a chore?
Although I can't always bother with it, I enjoy the washing process. It's a meditative thing, but not as much as it used to be now that I always wash my hair upside down. Other than that, I don't really "care" for it, just treat it reasonably gently. Attempting to create hairstyles usually results in nothing but frustration - I have zero patience for that!

10. Do you think you are more likely to eventually land on one length, or try several different ones and change it up?
I think I will be exploring terminal length in the future. Other than that, I don't know. I'll always have my default length to go back to if I need to!

[Zesty]

I love this idea, and it's fun to read your responses! I don't think I quite belong here because while I don't have a goal, I'm not growing anymore, and I don't feel like I'm on a "journey," but I think non-goal-oriented threads are a great idea.

[SandyBottom]

What a good idea! My current goal is KL but honestly not sure of my plans once I achieve it, so I'm going to chime in here.

1. What was your starting point, and how long ago was it?
I've always had long hair, but I started to make a concentrated effort in 2017 at TBL 34". It had been longer in the past, CL or so.

2. What made you decide to grow your hair?
I had a lot going on in life and my hair was suffering as well. I was also turning 50 and figured I'd try to fix this mess while I still had a chance.

3. Do you enjoy the process of growing your hair out?
YES!

4. If you had to make a wild guess, where do you think you'll find your hair's "sweet spot"? Have you had that length in the past?
I'm picturing between KL and upper calf. Stretched, it's almost at KL now and I'm quite comfortable with it. I've never had it that long though.

5. Are you more interested in gaining length, or gaining thickness? Or are you just "meh" about your hair?
Hmm...I'm not sure I'm MORE interested in one over the other. Right now I'm quite interested in both.

6. Do you trim your hair?
I've been self trimming/chopping since around 2016 or 2017. Currently doing monthly micro trimming.

7. Has your routine changed since you've been on LHC?
Yeah, less shampoo and less often. I also don't use it on the length anymore. I'm more hesitant to experiment. Now I'll ask myself, "What are you hoping to accomplish by trying this? What are the risks? Are you willing to take that risk with your hair?"

8. Do you consider your hair to be a big part of who you are?
Absolutely! Not just looks, but long hair takes patience and dedication. My hair has helped me eat healthier too.

9. Does taking care of your hair make you happy, or is it more of a chore?
Oh I very much enjoy it! It's the ultimate pampering for me!

10. Do you think you are more likely to eventually land on one length, or try several different ones and change it up?
I think I'll find one length I like.

[Bat]

I apologize if a thread like this already exists, mods feel free to merge this one if it already does.

So I'm noticing a lack of "goal-less" threads on here, and a whole lot of going from mile-marker to mile-marker/very goal-oriented discussion. I will admit, this thread was inspired by the current restructuring discussion going on for the goal threads. But for me personally, while I do enjoy "graduating" to the next thread and milestone, I also feel like I don't belong because I don't have an end goal and just kind of mosey on through them or lurk. It's a bit of imposter syndrome in a way, being the odd one out.

I'm sure there's at least a few people out there who are also growing their hair out and don't really have an end goal in mind.

Basically, my end goal is "happy". I really don't know where that is, but I'll know it when I get there

Some questions to hopefully spur a bit of discussion:

1. What was your starting point, and how long ago was it?
2. What made you decide to grow your hair?
3. Do you enjoy the process of growing your hair out?
4. If you had to make a wild guess, where do you think you'll find your hair's "sweet spot"? Have you had that length in the past?
5. Are you more interested in gaining length, or gaining thickness? Or are you just "meh" about your hair?
6. Do you trim your hair?
7. Has your routine changed since you've been on LHC?
8. Do you consider your hair to be a big part of who you are?
9. Does taking care of your hair make you happy, or is it more of a chore?
10. Do you think you are more likely to eventually land on one length, or try several different ones and change it up?

Happy growing (or not growing, you do you!) everyone

I already made a thread like this called buzz to floor+ https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=155671

I'm not opposed to merging the one I made into this so we don't have 2 all length threads, or add this to resources and take out the all lengths one
we don't want another repeat of the reconstruction discussion

[Braided Lady]

Bat, you made a thread specifically for everyone. This is a thread specifically for certain people. Like all the milestone threads, everyone can join in, but some of us have similar goals in our lack of goals, and this is a place to talk more about that, particularly

[Bat]

Bat, you made a thread specifically for everyone. This is a thread specifically for certain people. Like all the milestone threads, everyone can join in, but some of us have similar goals in our lack of goals, and this is a place to talk more about that, particularly

I guess I'll see what happens I've already asked to merge all lengths into this one so it's up to the mods now

My goal fluctuates all the time having no goal would do me some good

[Bat]

1. What was your starting point, and how long ago was it?
Ear length pixie 2020

2. What made you decide to grow your hair?
To feel more attractive and I've always wanted Sephiroth Hair

3. Do you enjoy the process of growing your hair out?
I love the throught of it but the reality is very hard! There's reasons why I'm even shorter than my starting point three years later

4. If you had to make a wild guess, where do you think you'll find your hair's "sweet spot"? Have you had that length in the past?
I wanted it to knee then hip then mid thigh, floor terminal etc I can't choose! But I think hip would be my sweet spot I've never had hair that long, the longest was roughly apl at 23 inches LHC style

5. Are you more interested in gaining length, or gaining thickness? Or are you just "meh" about your hair?
Length and also meh, my hairs pretty much a low end iii so thickness isn't an issue

6. Do you trim your hair?
Trim buzz bald with a disposable razor I've done it all now I'll be keeping back and sides 3 guard buzz but leaving the top to grow, once I get to a one length bob ( not sure which bob chin or shoulder) then I'll give up scissors I'd like to do no trims 2025)

7. Has your routine changed since you've been on LHC?
Not really but I do quite like conditioner only

8. Do you consider your hair to be a big part of who you are?
Yes! But I keep sabotaging myself with bleach and dyed

9. Does taking care of your hair make you happy, or is it more of a chore?
It makes me happy maybe that will change when it gets longer and longer

10. Do you think you are more likely to eventually land on one length, or try several different ones and change it up?
I'd keep going really until I find it too hard to look after or I get really bad headaches

[The Lizard Wife]

Basically, my end goal is "happy". I really don't know where that is, but I'll know it when I get there

This, so much! I don't know what my goal is more specifically than to find the length where my hair and I can be in harmony rather than in a constant battle of wills that I always lose.

1. What was your starting point, and how long ago was it?
I started this journey, with intentions of Succeeding, back when I was lurking on LHC vicariously through a friend. Even with so much distance removed everyone in this community made me feel nostalgic for long hair and inspired to try again. I started January 2016 when I decided no more maintaining of my pixie.

2. What made you decide to grow your hair?
I've always wanted long princess hair, and thanks to lurking vicariously I found that hair toys were pretty. My friend told me that even I could successfully bun my hair one day, and I laughed at her, but jokes on me she was right.

3. Do you enjoy the process of growing your hair out?
I enjoy the good days when I'm having success (can put my hair up without pain and use my pretty toys). I am weathering the rest with patience because this is really the best option.

4. If you had to make a wild guess, where do you think you'll find your hair's "sweet spot"? Have you had that length in the past?
My journey so far has been a wildly switch-backing mountain road, so I haven't yet gotten past waist. (Typical "long hair" pre-LHC was probably in the APL to BSL range, and likely closer to APL.) I know my sweet spot is definitely not waist or above. Classic maybe??? At that point it'd probably be long enough that I could cut in a lot of taper to help me out....

5. Are you more interested in gaining length, or gaining thickness? Or are you just "meh" about your hair?
Length! I'm too blessed with thickness, I need lots of length to get a comfy length-to-thickness ratio.

6. Do you trim your hair?
I chop drastically rather than trim, and haven't since whacking the canopy to the same length as the undercut last May, when the undercut was getting to APL. I am also blessed with having to deliberately strategize to get fairy-tailing rather than having to trim to keep blunt ends, so I have a lot of incentive to resist trimming.

7. Has your routine changed since you've been on LHC?
I decided to abruptly start water-only at the same time I stopped trimming the pixie because why not, which didn't work because of our water, and have experimented now and again as the fancy strikes me. My hair will honestly probably tolerate whatever, it's trying to find the ideal for my skin that's the real motivator.

8. Do you consider your hair to be a big part of who you are?


9. Does taking care of your hair make you happy, or is it more of a chore?
If I had to take care of it in a society-approved way, it would be an impossible chore. Finding a comfy sleep braid, stretching washes, and being too tired to care if my hair looks "correct" makes it a manageable chore. Wait, does buying too many hair sticks to treat myself count as taking care of one's hair?? Because if yes, then taking care of my hair makes me very happy.

10. Do you think you are more likely to eventually land on one length, or try several different ones and change it up?
I expect I'll have a "sweet range," where I'll let it go until it bothers me and then chop it back to whatever milestone is the start of the sweet spot, then ignore it for a while again until I want another chop. I have a tendency to fancy things like going from long straight to pixie or from pixie to "wow I wish my hair was instantly at classic" or "it would be strategic of me to try an undercut", but maybe that impulse will fade once I actually reach a happy spot with my hair, since I probably change things up so drastically because I am unhappy.