Length vs Looking "old"? Lol

[AspenSong]

Jeez, haven't posted a real post in forever. Lol.

Didn't feel like hiding this in my blog, so just discussing here.

I obviously started this whole long hair thing many years ago, much younger. Much different hair.
The combo of medical emergency/forced cut, stress, health recovery, COVID and now postpartum hair (daughter is 17 months), has just really resulted in some Meh hair. It's recovered so much, but it's just not the same.

I'm at bsl now. But I'm just not feeling it like I once did. I don't know what it all is, but one thing I have realized is....I do not like how my face or I look now, coming up on 39 (insert sobs here), the greys coming in majorly around my face, my face honestly very changed from these last few years and then my hair up all the time. For me, it seems to just age me further and I do not look nice. Is that vain to bother me? Sure, but there ya go.

Anyone else changed how they feel about how they look with their hair up as time has gone by?
Anything help?

Because I feel like it's this internal battle in my mind now to either regain my length that was once so beloved and part of me, or look less like a tired, old lady.

[Chromis]

I think those changes would have you feeling a bit weird in your own skin no matter what your hair was up to. People go for the drastic cut n colour stuff because it is something they can easily control, unlike other things in their life/face/body.

Myself, I change my make up instead when I get feeling like that. It's a lot less commitment I also think it makes more difference for me personally. (I can't speak for others and I know some peeps just don't like makeup!) Right now, living somewhere that bright makeup makes you rather stand out, I've been perfecting my-face-only-better for days I just don't feel like standing out for that reason. (Also, I find I just don't get taken seriously as a farmer if I go to agriculture related things if I look too "nice") As my skin has changed, I had to change my foundation because I realized what once worked great now is not the right shade on me and was clinging weird since my skin is more dry now. I'd also stopped wearing it because of masking, and realized nope, I really do like having some on after all! I wear it for me and also because at least then I have some sunscreen on even if that is not the "ideal" way to wear it. It's good enough other than in summer with our low UV index. Along with changing shade, I changed to one that is much more mask friendly (Etude House Double Lasting) so I didn't have to think about if I was going to be leaving the property that day. I also swear my lips have lost pigmentation or something. They were always a bit undefined, but now they have pretty much gone invisible. Plus I hadn't bought lip products in a long time so I was just using up things I had....which incidentally were the ones I didn't like which was why I still had them. (I had a few that came in a two pack as the birthday Sephora gift, so I used up the warm tone ones and then was left with bright cool pinks) Again with masking making me change my habits! I swapped to transfer-proof lip tints instead (by Etude House and Peri Pera) and in better colours for me. And I updated my eyeshadow as well. I realize that typing this, it sounds like I must have a giant stash...but we are talking six lippies and three eyeshadow palettes (two of these are multi-palettes which also have the blush and contour shades because I really prefer all-in-one kinda simplicity). As much as I loved the bold blue-purple gradient mineral make-up, one day I looked in the mirror and was like man this is looking real harsh on me, so now I've swung kinda the opposite way. For the curious - right now I am just absolutely loving Peripera's Fall in Acorn. It is just perfect on me. I accidentally ordered two Acorn Brown tints so I put one in my purse and am pretty pleased about that. (I had trouble in the summer with my lips sunburning, but forgetting to put on more balm since I don't notice it has worn off. Wearing lipstick or lip tint helps since then I can actually see that I need to reapply without having to think about it and it works well as a physical sunblock.)

[AmaryllisRed]

I'm 41. Stress over the past couple of years has been UNREAL. I've aged probably ten years since 2020. I used to look younger than my age and now I look at least 45. My long hair isn't doing my face any favors. I'm sure a makeover show would chop my hair off and dye it. I guess I'm too... what? Lazy? Emotionally attached to my hair? Afraid of change? Probably all of those... to do anything about it.

[SandyBottom]

I'm 55 and have always had long hair and looked younger than I was, but now I think I look my age (but I don't act it!). I didn't start to even think about hair care/protection until around late 40s. It was actually all the upheaval and changes going on in my life that started it. I had never even worn a bun even though my hair at that point was in the tailbone area more or less. I don't wear makeup now and only minimal eye liner back when I did. Wearing a bun at first took some getting used to. It made me aware of the librarian vibe but it also brought a new level of ease and convenience. Long hair can make me feel young or elegant or like a little bit of a rebel. Maybe it does make me look old. That's okay. I love it. It makes me happy.

[Spinder]

Well, I'm only 29, but I feel like a drained and worn out old husk much of the time. I have lost a lot of length from what I used to have, simply due to stress and lack of self care. Not super noticeable, but I know I've collected my fair share of grey strands, too. Having an ex who was arrested for assaulting both my own self, and my then newborn son... I guess that will do that to a woman.

Flowers overcome the harshness of winter with the emergence of spring. We must also live to fight another day.

[mermaid lullaby]

Yes, I have felt that way before. It was when I was 11-15 years old, and I remember those days. Morphing is a lesson.

It's really hard, and sometimes it can make you very self conscious. What made it better was having people you love, be around you. The right people can make you forget those things and they will remind you that life is beautiful and it is worth living.
Morphing taught me humility (thinking of yourself less often), and I was able to love and respect people better than before.
Actually, it taught me how to be strong and kind.

So, if I had to do it all over again someday. I wouldn't mind. I'll still be happy.

[Emila]

Oof I get this feeling. Long hair no longer has me feeling like a maiden frolicking in a meadow, or like a rockstar. Up dos can look a bit... Conservative old school teacher on me? Conservative old school teacher with a mum bod. Idk. Sometimes I feel a bit frumpy.

One thing that does help me is I have a fringe/bangs and still have long hair. Sometimes I grow it out, sometimes I clip it up, but for me I like having the option. When clipped up, I use it to create a slight pouf, and I think that the added height on top of my head is flattering and a bit softening. (But this could be a very dated thing to do according to actual young people lmao) The downside is if your hair is wavy it doesn't sit right without some heat, usually... And it gets oily faster than the rest of your hair.

I'm thinking about getting my eyebrows tinted and shaped professionally. I don't know if this will help anyone else but yeah. Im trying to think of other ways I can get the youthful feeling. Maybe others have some other ideas. I see so many young beauties with amazing eyebrows around these days, it makes me think of I get those brows I will also feel beautiful is that the vainest thing you've ever heard

Maybe we should try and challenge ourselves in how we define beauty. I know it's hard to do though. I would be okay if I looked like a badass swamp witch, but looking like a conservative old school teacher isnt ok with me

Maybe I just need to get some cooler clothes. The answer is buy more things. Right? jk

[GordonMurphella]

Sheesh. None of you are old. This all sounds like buying into other people's and society's ideas. I'm in my late 60's so I'm not just blowing smoke. Get real. Life's too short.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Since we are all getting older, and will look older, and old, the question boils down to do I want to look old with long hair or short hair? The answer is, for me, to look old with long hair. We can't help looking old if we are, but we can control, to some extent, the length of our hair.

[lapushka]

Me, it all played a part in me cutting my hair back to BSL (bra strap length). I just 1/breakage 2/buns 24/7 3/strict library lady look 4/mom broke her foot, pressure (not in direct, but circumstancial, my pressure, on me). It all came down to a head and just... It broke me. It was either that or doing something drastic.

At least I saved the hair I cut off, in 2 tiny circumference ponytails (like sharpies) and long, so I had... so much breakage.

It was time.

If you want to see the front facing pics, they're in my blog, friend me if you like OP! If not already (private album)!

ETA/ I just wanted to add. You can see (all my hair is in front (divided into 2 and flung over the shoulder)) the marked difference between the hair in my signature, that blanket of thick hair and my hair now... It is sad in a way, but it can grow back, I have that to hang on to.