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Thread: Hard decision

  1. #1

    Default Hard decision

    Hey guys, it's been a while since I posted so firstly hello to everyone hope you've all been well.

    I'm after a bit of advice from you all hoping someone could help me with making a tough choice of whether or not I should go for a big chop. Here's why.

    The last few years my hair just stopped growing, I was going through some personal stuff which took its toll on my mental health and I stopped caring for my hair. This resulted in a lot of breakages and splitting of the ends of my hair as well as lack of proper care made them really dry and eventually damanged and so I've been trimming to stop more damage happening.

    My hair at the base of neck is "normal" but about 3 inches past that it's thin due to all the breakages I've had throughout the years. My longest strand is touching tailbone but only 15 strands have reached that length, with most of them sitting at bra strap length without being "see through".

    It's quite depressing to see the way my hair looks and I'm wondering if I should just chop it all to bra strap length or should I persevere and keep going. It doesn't help me and my sister both started growing our hair around the same time from the same length, she has thick long even hair touching butt crack whilst mine is thin and looks stringy with hairs at every length looking frayed.

    Has anyone else been in this situation, if so what did you do or would do? I feel hopeless.
    Current length: Middle back length
    Goal length: Knee length

  2. #2
    Member Bat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hard decision

    it's really up to what you think will make you feel better, I personally would cut back to where it looks healthiest, posting a photo will help too, it may not be as bad as you think, we are out own worst critic, if you value your length too much you can maintain, it might give results over time.
    Buzz October 1st 2021
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  3. #3
    Member Kathie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hard decision

    Gosh- having just 15 hairs at a particular length would certainly take a toll on me! It would drive me a bit crazy. Saftey in numbers seems to be an appropriate saying to use here.

    As Bat mentions, ultimately its your decision. Would you feel happier cutting back for a fresh start or would you prefer to continue on as you have. Maybe try and imagine both and see how it makes you feel. (That's what I do when faced with big decisions- imagine the 2 different future me's and decide based on how I feel about them).
    Grow grow grow, where it stops no body knows.
    No trims since June 10th 2021, aiming for fairytale ends.

  4. #4
    Airsick Lowlander -Fern's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hard decision

    I tend to side with utility and enjoyment over everything else. Being able to braid + bun my hair makes it feel long to me, and it keeps it safely out of the way--doesn't matter if the ends are thin in a bun. But if you prefer wearing it down, then cut to a length where you feel like you can actually enjoy wearing it down.

    Microtrimming is probably the best way to see your hemline get thicker over time.
    Onwards.

    26-BSL-28-29-WL-31-32-HL

  5. #5
    Member Aunt Rapunzel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hard decision

    As mentioned, it's completely up to you, but I'll tell you what my mom did, and maybe it will help. My mom lost a LOT of hair after a major surgery. She was very discouraged at how her hair looked, and it made her sad every time she looked at it. It was long, but it was very thin at the ends. Toward the shoulders it was much healthier looking. Still thinnish but much better looking. She decided that she wanted to be happy with how her hair looked, rather than just measuring length and being unhappy with it. So she cut it back to just below her shoulders. It was a HUGE cut for her, but she was happy with how full it looked! And of course, it continued to grow. And now her hair is nearing waist-length again!

    That isn't to say that you MUST cut your hair - I just wanted to share my mom's experience because she ended up liking her hair SO much more when she'd had it cut back to the fuller area. Whatever you decide, I hope that you find an answer that allows you to enjoy your hair again!

  6. #6
    Friend of the Semicolon florenonite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hard decision

    How about trimming to waist or hip first and seeing how you feel? If your primary reaction is, "No, this is far too short", then you can microtrim as you grow to thicken up your hemline without making more drastic cuts. If you still feel like your ends are too thin, you can cut a little bit more until you find that sweet spot where your ends are thick enough for your liking while retaining length (which might be cutting all the way to BSL, and might not be, but I think you'll know best once you try it, a little at a time).

    This is a massive generalisation, and there are for sure people who feel differently, but I think in general people who wear their hair up most or all of the time tend to favour preserving length (because long, thin ends are easier to bun than short, thick ones), while those who wear their hair down all the time favour preserving hemline thickness/neatness (because you want your hair to look its best when it's down). So if you tend to wear your hair down, you might also try wearing it up more and see if that makes you more okay with the thinness, or if you still feel like cutting to BSL. I'd honestly recommend wearing your hair up more in general if you don't already, because that does protect hair from wear and tear and if your hair is already fragile it needs all the protection it can get.
    Lady Nehalennia of the Mirrored-Seas in the Order of the Long-Haired Knights

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  7. #7
    Member SwanFeathers's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hard decision

    I'm sorry you're going through a tough time, but it is something that is pretty much unavoidable. everyone will face a stress point where their health/hair takes a dive. I was actually in a similar situation earlier this year, where the stress damage of a previous time finally caught up with me, and I made the decision to cut from hip-length to ear-length to give myself a fresh start. it was a lot, and I felt very weird for several weeks, but the hair I have left is very healthy and soft and I am more confident in my ability to take care of it than last time around because of the experience I gained. I know what a realistic care routine is for me, and I don't have to dwell on the stressful events that caused the damage because I don't have to look at it anymore.

    whatever your decision is, do what is healthiest for you, and don't worry about your sister/girlfriends/coworkers/mother/grandma or anybody else. your hair is on your head for you to enjoy.
    Last edited by SwanFeathers; September 15th, 2021 at 10:08 AM.

    Pixie 2015 ~ TBL 2020 ~ ​Ear 2021 ~ Knee 2030?

  8. #8

    Default Re: Hard decision

    I'm not sure I can add anything extra that hasn't already been said. Only you can make that decision.

    However I picked up on something that you said - your sister has healthier looking hair, and that's getting you down. It's easier said than done, but try not to compare yourself to others. We all have a personal journey. We are all going to end up with different results. It is with hair growth, as it is with life. I'm terrible at comparing myself to others, especially my friends when we are doing sports together. So perhaps I should be taking my own advice, haha! Easier said than done, I suppose.

    Good luck!

  9. #9
    LHC FairyGodMum lapushka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hard decision

    Go in slow increments, that is the best advice I can give.

    Take one to a couple inches off, wash it, see what that does. Often that is a change big enough to be able to push through and forward. If it isn't enough, take the same bit next wash day (I would do it right before a wash, then it will come out looking nice after the cut). And so on and so forth.

    Literally the best way to go about it, IMO.

    Good luck!
    WCC method (washing) --- Rinse-out oil (MO) --- LOC/LCO method (styling)

  10. #10
    Member Allorapisma's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hard decision

    I'm sorry that you're going through a rough patch.

    I agree with Lapushka- you could cut your hair little by little, in slow increments. Maybe you don't need to cut it to bra strap length - maybe it will look good if you cut only 5 or 10 cm. If your ends are see-through, I advise you to do a blunt cut and not layers.

    I hope that you'll soon feel better! Good luck!

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