Attention mods please :)

**Chromis** · December 24th, 2020, 02:50 PM

Our volunteer moderation staff is comprised of people from varying religious beliefs, backgrounds, countries, cultures, and political beliefs. We have mods who with children and mods who choose not to have children. Rural mods, city mods. Mods with different dietary choices. Mods with different hair types and hair care choices. (Viva la shampoo bar!)

Using the Report Post feature sends a message to everyone on the moderation staff which enables any of us to respond; some mods choose to remain invisible and, therefore, may be online undetected at any time. When one or more of us looks into a reported post, we then decide whether or not immediate action is required. Infractions remain private between the moderators and the person receiving them. Also, it is possible for us to give infractions to more than one person in a thread. Just because you receive an infraction does not mean we have "chosen a side". It doesn't even mean we disagree with you. We do ask that you not be a jerk about things, even if you know are right. When we give an infraction, that too sends a message out to all of us, so that we have a record of it.

We work as a team and discuss any member or forum issues that arise. The large exception would be spammers.

**bokeh** · December 24th, 2020, 07:23 PM

I missed the incident being discussed but I do see subtle insults towards the Christian Religion on TLHC more often than I would like. I see it here on this very thread. I think that sort of thing should never be tolerated against any religion.

**akurah** · December 24th, 2020, 08:04 PM

Originally Posted by bokeh

I missed the incident being discussed but I do see subtle insults towards the Christian Religion on TLHC more often than I would like. I see it here on this very thread. I think that sort of thing should never be tolerated against any religion.

You can and should report them so mods can track it. They won't tell you what action was taken for privacy reasons, but if any particular person is a "repeat offender" for multiple subtle jabs they'll probably want to know so they are able to take action.

I don't think they read every thread, I imagine they're frequently like general users in that sense where they read what interests them. The report button brings posts to their attention that they might have otherwise overlooked. So in that way it's on us to help call attention to things that violate the KNIT rules

**Ylva** · December 24th, 2020, 08:11 PM

Originally Posted by bokeh

I missed the incident being discussed but I do see subtle insults towards the Christian Religion on TLHC more often than I would like. I see it here on this very thread. I think that sort of thing should never be tolerated against any religion.

Is it possible to insult a religion? I think it's important to differentiate between insulting a person and expressing one's opinion about, or discussing a religion. All religions should be able to take criticism, and criticising religions is just as much a part of freedom of speech as positive commentary is. All of this should, of course, be expressed in a polite way.

I am saying this as a general statement, not in relation to anything in this thread. If you feel that a specific post should be evaluated by the moderation team, feel free to report it.

**bokeh** · December 24th, 2020, 08:47 PM

Originally Posted by akurah

You can and should report them so mods can track it. They won't tell you what action was taken for privacy reasons, but if any particular person is a "repeat offender" for multiple subtle jabs they'll probably want to know so they are able to take action.

I don't think they read every thread, I imagine they're frequently like general users in that sense where they read what interests them. The report button brings posts to their attention that they might have otherwise overlooked. So in that way it's on us to help call attention to things that violate the KNIT rules

I do agree with you but I admit to being hesitant to report posts especially when the issue is something concerning but subtle. My hope in mentioning this was simply to bring awareness and hoping that people will think twice before posting that sort of hurtful thing.

**bokeh** · December 24th, 2020, 08:54 PM

Originally Posted by Ylva

Is it possible to insult a religion? I think it's important to differentiate between insulting a person and expressing one's opinion about, or discussing a religion. All religions should be able to take criticism, and criticising religions is just as much a part of freedom of speech as positive commentary is. All of this should, of course, be expressed in a polite way.

I am saying this as a general statement, not in relation to anything in this thread. If you feel that a specific post should be evaluated by the moderation team, feel free to report it.

I did not use precise language. Of course a religion can't be insulted. Maybe a better word would have been 'disparage'. I agree that criticism is sometimes appropriate and even helpful but context is important in discussions of that sort.:

**Nightshade** · December 24th, 2020, 09:08 PM

Originally Posted by bokeh

I missed the incident being discussed but I do see subtle insults towards the Christian Religion on TLHC more often than I would like. I see it here on this very thread. I think that sort of thing should never be tolerated against any religion.

On the flip side, I see a lot of subtle digs FROM Christians to all of us heathen / non-Christian folk. I'm sure I see these because of my point of view more than you do, just like you're more aware of the ones towards Christians than I am.

Far more than once on these boards I've gotten the "oh, pity you won't be saved, but *I* will because of my belief in the ~one true God~" undercurrent in a post (and it's even been said directly rather than implied.) That's the kind of thing that can read as "oh that's just the way it is!" to one set here, and deeply, deeply insulting to someone like me.

ETA: Implying that someone else is going to roast in a lake of fire is not KNIT. It doesn't matter if it's the truth to you, it's rude and unnecessary to imply with the "oh, but I'M saved" [narrator: but you are not] thing. It's in that entire EULA with God that by trumpeting one's salvation, the other side of that is the 'threat' of what awaits those that are not / choose not to be 'saved'. /ETA

We're each more likely to see the slights against us, but that doesn't mean slights against others don't exist in our own blind spots. What I'm getting at here is that there's no special persecution against Christians going on, but I can see how as one you might think that because of confirmation bias (which is something we all have, and should be aware of).

**Chromis** · December 24th, 2020, 09:14 PM

There is a very large difference between stating, "I am not personally a fan of limburger. We suspect the limburger factory in my town is causing birds to fall out of the sky." and "All limburger lovers deserve to grow four metre long nose hairs! And trip on them! You limburger lovers are hate birds and clearly want them to be extinct! How very dare you!I insult you, your ferret, and the donkey you rode in on *(^*&^ limburger lovers!"

While presenting your opinion is both welcomed and encouraged, we ask that everyone adheres to the KNIT guidelines when posting. This does not prohibit anyone from having their opinion, but asks that they are posted kindly and respectfully.

"I came for the hair care advice, but I stayed for the friends."

It has been said more than once that TLHC is one of the nicest sites on the 'net. That's because we have exceptional members who genuinely care about each other and terrific moderators who strive to make sure everyone has the best experience possible. The feeling created is very much like an extended family.

On occasion, however, a quarrel will occur, or a bit of snark will creep into people's messages, and this note is a gentle reminder that the best antidote for that is for everyone to monitor their own posts. Using the Report Button is a great help to the moderators by alerting us to problems, but prevention is a way that everyone can help maintain that warm community spirit. So, as we like to say, KNIT before you post.

Before you hit the "Submit" button, review what you're about to say.

Is it Kind?

Is it Necessary?

Is it Informative?

Is it True?

Read your words as if someone else were saying them to you. How would you receive them? Would you be offended, hurt or angry? If your post doesn't pass those tests, try again. If you simply can't compose something, let the thread go, and maybe try again later.

Every once in a while, there will be something that you cannot agree with. No one expects there to be a complete meeting of minds on every single topic discussed here. In those cases, we ask for tolerance - not acceptance, but tolerance. The other person is always worthy of respect. If you post, do not attack. Agree to disagree, and let your words be civil and even as kind as possible.

Thank you, everyone, for making this such a wonderful community.

**akurah** · December 24th, 2020, 10:43 PM

While I certainly don't browse all the threads by any stretch of the imagination, something that everyone should also keep in mind is that interpretation is subjective.

I notice the blatent digs. The subtle ones? I don't really notice... Possibly because I'm atheist, and have have no dog in the religious discussion unless someone tries to drag me in. Which makes me wonder this: maybe the digs that are subtle aren't actually digs, and the side perceiving the dig is over sensitized due to being a target before. I'm not trying to invalidate feelings here everyone has a right to be upset, but before going down the rabbit hole, pause and consider this: is it ACTUALLY a dig or are you guys not communicating at the same level? Are you misinterpreting because of the shade of glasses you're wearing?

Also remember this, you can block members. Then you don't have to see their posts if you don't like them or feel like they're always making tiny little jabs at you.