Gender expression and long hair

[CuteCrow]

I know there are other posts with similar questions but most of them seem to be based only on binary genders. I'm curious about how gender expression generally affects other LHC users. If you feel comfortable answering these questions, feel free to do so. Also tell me if you feel like I should add other questions or change the wording of these ones.


What are your pronouns?

Do you use your hair as a main way to express your gender?

Do you think your gender influences your hair length goals?

Does it affect how you choose to style your hair?

Have you ever felt conflicted about your hair regarding your gender expression?



My answers:

I would consider myself mainly gender apathetic, I mostly find gender uninformative about myself.

What are your pronouns? Mostly She/her but any pronoun is ok for me

Do you use your hair as a main way to express your gender? Not really, for most of my life I've been really indifferent about my hair. "out of the way" has been my main goal.

Do you think your gender influences your hair length goals? Same as the last one. Not really, but I've preferred short hair in the past slightly because it looked more masculine on me.

Does it affect how you choose to style your hair? I do feel like I have to worry less about how I style my hair than other people. I think I use mostly gender neutral hairstyles and accessories but mainly because they are easier to do or find.

Have you ever felt conflicted about your hair regarding your gender expression? I think for a short while I felt long hair (APL, not long hair by LHC standards) dind´t represented my gender when I was exploring about being agender and I really felt a strong urge to find a more gender neutral hairstyle.

[neko_kawaii]

What are your pronouns?
She/her (they/their is perfectly fine, I have no patience with gender roles)

Do you use your hair as a main way to express your gender?
I don't consciously use my hair to express gender. I've had many different hair styles from shaved through pixie, bob, down to knee. I've never felt not me because of my hair length. As a kid I envied curly hair (my mom is a curly) but the times I've put in the effort to curl my hair it feels weird, something I'm constantly conscious of and I'm relieved when the curls are gone and I'm back to me.

Do you think your gender influences your hair length goals?
My gender presentation (female) makes having long hair socially easy, aside from the occasional "Don't you need a trim?" comments that result as hair gets longer and longer.

Does it affect how you choose to style your hair?
Again, gender presentation and the time and location I live in make all options socially acceptable. I feel for other people whose gender narrows their options in other people's eyes.

Have you ever felt conflicted about your hair regarding your gender expression?
No, but other people clearly have been! I had a "boy" cut in 5th or 6th grade and a number of people misgendered me or became very upset that they couldn't easily tell if I was a boy or a girl. I didn't understand what their problem was. It was no big deal to correct "he" to "she" from my perspective. When I was in college and shaved my head I got strange looks and muttered comments from strangers which made me roll my eyes, but I was not expecting the sexuality assumptions that came with being female with a shaved head, LOL. Sorry ladies!

[Entangled]

What are your pronouns? She/her/they if you don't know is fine with me

Do you use your hair as a main way to express your gender? I guess? Gender hasn't been a point of struggle in my life and so I haven't thought about it much. I like long hair at this point because it feels like me, so it's my clothing that I put more effort into if I think about gender presentation.

Do you think your gender influences your hair length goals? Yes, because if I were male I don't think I could take the social pressure. Female + extra long hair where I am is seen as kinda granola/plain/low maintenance, or else girly, but for guys, long hair has a transgressive element and I don't know if I could get past the short stage.

Does it affect how you choose to style your hair? I'm at a point in life where I do want to be seen as attractive, so when I put effort into my appearance I focus on "softening" my appearance, which I don't think I would be worrying about if I were a guy.

[PallasAthena]

What are your pronouns?
I prefer they when I am in a friendly setting but usually default to she/her in most situations because I'm a coward. If people call me he/him I don't mind. I consider myself agender but it took years of questioning before I found the term that fit.

Do you use your hair as a main way to express your gender?
It's one way. I very rarely want to look femme but when I do I tend to wear wigs. I used short hair for years to look more androgynous but it doesn't seem as necesary anymore.

Do you think your gender influences your hair length goals?
I think so. I am preceived as female so I never had to worry about having trouble at work for long hair but I also get perceived a certain type of way with short hair that isn't always accurate. I think I would actually feel less conflicted about long hair if I looked more masculine naturally but who knows!
Actually, pre-puberty I was usually perceived as male because I had short hair and dressed like a boy (unless I was in my school uniform) and it didn't bother me at all. My mom would correct people but I never bothered. I didn't want long hair of my own until adulthood and not consistently.

Does it affect how you choose to style your hair?
Yes. If my hair is longer I do try to make it look less femenine and if it's short I sometimes try to make it look less masculine. I'm always looking to neutralize any gendered expression or balance it out with something opposite.

Have you ever felt conflicted about your hair regarding your gender expression?
Oh, only every day! But I think too much and manage to get conflicted about all kinds of things.

Cool thread and topic!

[Amenahh]

What are your pronouns? She/her

Do you use your hair as a main way to express your gender? Not intentionally. I guess I've always had haircuts that would be considered common for women/girls, but I never chose these styles purposefully in order to express my gender. But I guess the hairstyles did that nonetheless, to some degree.

Do you think your gender influences your hair length goals?
Yes. even though I'm a cis, straight female, I've always been a bit more tomboy than very feminine. I don't feel very feminine, so I've always had a trouble with growing long hair because of that (I know long hair doesn't have to be 'feminine', it's just a cultural perception I guess). I love long hair, but when mine gets 'too long', I sometimes don't feel like myself anymore, so I tend to prefer medium-length haircuts (I really enjoyed bobs too, apart from being high-maintenance).
However, I'm trying to grow my hair long again despite that.

Does it affect how you choose to style your hair?
Yes. Because I want my hair to be long, but I don't want to look too feminine, I keep it up most of the time. Messy buns are really nice for that.

Interesting thread, I'm looking forward to reading more responses.

[NicoleLionne]

What are your pronouns?
She/her

Do you use your hair as a main way to express your gender?
I don't think so. My hair has been long and short over the years and I like both. I think I express my gender more in how I dress, jewellery etc.

Do you think your gender influences your hair length goals?
It probably does. I think we are all conditioned with certain ideals of beauty in our society. However I really love long hair on everyone, so I think I am mainly growing it because I find it very beautiful and I love being able to create pretty buns and braids. I vividly remember seeing a beautiful older lady when I was about 8 years old with the most elaborate snow white up-do. That image has always stuck with me. Where I live long hair is often discouraged for people who don't fit in a certain age group or who are seen as male (I hope I worded that okay). My brother has had a phase with long hair and it was stunning as well. My gender probably makes it easier for me to grow out my hair and not get comments on it. (Which is one of the reasons my brother cut his off.)

Does it affect how you choose to style your hair?
With friends and family not at all. But when I still had long (BSL+) hair I would always put it up at work. I worked in a male-dominated environment (STEM) and there was a clear vibe that women who put much effort in their appearance (hair, make-up, dresses/skirts/heels) where not as capable or intelligent. Which is total BS, but I already had more to prove being female and didn't want my long hair making matters even more difficult. Thinking back on it, it was probably one of the reasons I decided to cut it off.

This is such an interesting thread. Hope more people will respond

[TatsuOni]

What are your pronouns?
She/her

Do you use your hair as a main way to express your gender?
No. I don't strive to be feminime. Long hair and a skirt doesn't make me feel more feminime than boys clothes either. I also don't take it as a compliment when someone tells me that my style, hair or whatever is feminime.

Do you think your gender influences your hair length goals?
No

Does it affect how you choose to style your hair?
No

Have you ever felt conflicted about your hair regarding your gender expression?
No

[ynne]

Thank you for adding a poll that includes more options!

What are your pronouns? they/them

Do you use your hair as a main way to express your gender? Not since growing it out.

Do you think your gender influences your hair length goals? It might be limiting them, as I'm wary of the usual associations, but I'm already past shoulders so I think I've been dealing with it pretty well.

Does it affect how you choose to style your hair? Have you ever felt conflicted about your hair regarding your gender expression? Yes, even though I know it's only because of the arbitrary "norms" in society. For example, where I live, men with long hair only wear it loose, in a low ponytail or in a "man bun" (historical/reenactment events being an expection) so the modern associations with feminity are pretty strong. These options feel more neutral, but I want to explore other stuff, too. On a positive note, historical hairstyles and media from other countries (like wuxia dramas) are helping me see it as less of an obstacle. :) I still wish there were more options that would generally read as gender-neutral, though.

(...) I'm always looking to neutralize any gendered expression or balance it out with something opposite. (...)

^ I don't usually actively think about it, but I'm pretty sure this is what influences a lot of my choices. :)

[LittleHealthy]

I totally use my hair to express some kind of femininity. I don't apply that kind of judgement to other people but definitely to myself. I think it's due to some stuff that happened during high school (being bullied for enjoying short hair, being told I had a skinny, manly body etc). So long hair is totally something I hold closely to my femininity.

[Xlena]

What are your pronouns?
She / Her

Do you use your hair as a main way to express your gender?
Not on a daily basis, but when I'm all dressed up I definitely use it to look more feminine.

Do you think your gender influences your hair length goals?
Yes, definitely.

Does it affect how you choose to style your hair?
I guess. I don't style my hair, just let it be, but as I said, when I'm dressed up definitely, I'd go for a more long with curl ends and flowery hair jewlery rather than short or shaved styles.

Have you ever felt conflicted about your hair regarding your gender expression?
No