Gender expression and long hair

[sapphire-o]

What are your pronouns?
She/her

Do you use your hair as a main way to express your gender?
Nah I only use my hair to show off my hairsticks. I have my body, clothes and jewelry to express my gender. My sons and husband all have hair as long as mine. I don't think any of them is trying to pass for a girl (full beards and stuff).

Do you think your gender influences your hair length goals?
Maybe a little bit. If I'm a guy and don't feel comfortable wearing buns, I might keep it a little shorter.

Does it affect how you choose to style your hair?
I feel my gender give me freedom to style my hair anyway I want. My three dudes wouldn't wear buns in public.

Have you ever felt conflicted about your hair regarding your gender expression?
Not with hair. But I dressed like a boy when I was in my late teens and dated girls. Now I look very feminine. Whatever my hair length or clothing choices are do not affect how I feel about myself. I mostly feel just like an awesome person. Never cared about mainstream anything.

[ynne]

(...)
Does it affect how you choose to style your hair? I'd like to say no. Ideally it would be no. But it definitely does. I don't like a style because I feel masculine or feminine in it, I like them because they're comfortable or convenient or I like how it looks or some combination of those factors. But other people care and unfortunately I do care about their perception of me at least some of the time and that does affect the choices I make. There are a couple styles I like but only wear at home because I don't care for the assumptions people make. It seems dumb and perhaps ideally it wouldn't matter to me or affect what I do but it does. When I'm on my own it doesn't cross my mind when making choices about a style.

It doesn't sound dumb at all! It can be really difficult to just ignore other people's opinion, especially when it's based on society's expectations. It's a pressure that a lot of people in this very thread confirm – people perceived as women generally have more freedom to choose hairstyles and long hair is just assumed to confirm/go along with their femininity.

As for gender roles... I just think it would be lovely to live in a world where one's body parts and gender identity did not affect the way they are raised ("what a cute little princess, what a strong big boy"), their opportunities and what's expected of them. I think it would make it a lot easier to separate the concepts of gender identity and gender presentation/expression (because "presentation" would no longer be gendered, just like long hair doesn't need the artificial association to femininity, so people could just exist in a way that's comfortable to them), and I honestly believe that everyone would only benefit from it.

[CuteCrow]

As for gender roles... I just think it would be lovely to live in a world where one's body parts and gender identity did not affect the way they are raised ("what a cute little princess, what a strong big boy"), their opportunities and what's expected of them. I think it would make it a lot easier to separate the concepts of gender identity and gender presentation/expression (because "presentation" would no longer be gendered, just like long hair doesn't need the artificial association to femininity, so people could just exist in a way that's comfortable to them), and I honestly believe that everyone would only benefit from it.

I think this is an interesting topic. Would people still have the need for a gender identity if we lived in a society with no sociocultural distinctions between any sex? I think the fact that I don't care about gender is something along those lines. If your sex had always just meant "you have XYZ chromosomes" and nothing else we wouldn't have genders to start with, just people with different likes and dislikes and different ways to express themselves. I have to say, I partially started this thread because I always found hard to understand the difference between gender identity and gender expression given that gender itself is the cultural constructions made around the biological differences between sexes, and how we perceive ourselves within those pre-established molds.
I mean I sort of understand non-binary people making the distinction for example if they don't identify with an specific gender but their expression comes across as an specific gender. But I still find it hard to understand.
Sorry if I came across as rude I'm not good with words and find it hard to express my thoughts in a easy understandable way sometimes.

[The Maple Leaf]

Cisgender male.

What are your pronouns?

-He/his


Do you use your hair as a main way to express your gender?

-No. My beard in combination with my long hair, though? Yes, arguably, to some extent.


Do you think your gender influences your hair length goals?

-I have no hair goals, but the fact that my hair, while long for a man, is not very long, may be partly influenced by my gender. If I were a woman, I would likely have longer hair, and it's just possible that I wouldn't cut my hair at all.
gen

Does it affect how you choose to style your hair?

-Probably. I don't do anything to my hair. It's possible that if I were a woman I would not only have longer hair than I do but would also e.g. braid it, use hair accessories.


Have you ever felt conflicted about your hair regarding your gender expression?

-Not since I started growing it out years ago.

[0xalis]

Sorry if I came across as rude I'm not good with words and find it hard to express my thoughts in a easy understandable way sometimes.

None of what you've said has come across as rude imo, you are navigating unfamiliar territory so I would expect there's things you don't quite understand and thoughts you're not sure how to word.

[tähkäpää]

I voted cis woman. Surprised by the lack of trans women here, actually. Maybe they just didn't find their way to the poll.

Super interesting thread and questions! Some of them were hard to answer though. Had to get a snack because I was thinking so hard.

What are your pronouns?
- She/they, though I don't mind any pronouns.

Do you use your hair as a main way to express your gender?
- I'd say no. But also, I don't know. Maybe? I'm a queer woman and I identify as femme, but my everyday look isn't actually overly feminine: I don't wear visible makeup, dresses or heels all the time. So who knows, maybe if I had non-feminine hair I'd feel like my expression didn't match my identity. Maybe I'd wear more makeup more often. Though not all short hair looks masculine or androgynous anyway.
But I also actively want to have long hair and to grow it out more. It's not like I'd really rather get rid of it but I'm keeping it just so other gay girls can recognize I'm femme-ish.

Do you think your gender influences your hair length goals?
- Maybe if I was a man I'd feel more social pressure to not have super long hair. However even as a woman I feel like having anything much longer than waist length hair is a little "weird" and is already challenging some norms a little bit, though obviously to a lesser extent. I'd also imagine that if I was truly otherwise the same person but just a man, that I wouldn't let social norms stop me from doing what I want with my hair, and I imagine I'd be happy to challenge some gender roles as a man.

Does it affect how you choose to style your hair?
- Probably not? But also maybe? I think I'd probably do all the same stuff to it as a man, but as a woman no one really bats an eye. As a man it would again be challenging some kind of norms. Though honestly in day to day life I style my hair very little, so most of the time my styling choices wouldn't be a big social obstacle to man-me.

Have you ever felt conflicted about your hair regarding your gender expression?
- Not as far as I can remember. I've definitely spent a fair amount of time questioning my gender in the past, and there was even a time when I was really rejecting femininity, but I don't remember it extending to my hair, and as far as I can remember I had longish hair then. But maybe that was around the same time I cut my hair the shortest it had ever been? Can't remember. And can't remember if the two were connected at all.

[0xalis]

tähkäpää, In my experience trans women are more likely to not disclose their trans status, as they are more at risk for scrutiny. I know there are at least a few here, but yes they might have not voted yet!

[tähkäpää]

tähkäpää, In my experience trans women are more likely to not disclose their trans status, as they are more at risk for scrutiny. I know there are at least a few here, but yes they might have not voted yet!

True. Even though it's a closed/private poll and doesn't show usernames they might still prefer not to answer.

[WitchyM]

None of what you've said has come across as rude imo, you are navigating unfamiliar territory so I would expect there's things you don't quite understand and thoughts you're not sure how to word.

This has been a really, really interesting thread to read, especially as I'm someone new to longer hair and I have conflicting feelings about it. But I sure do hope that most folks reading and responding to this as it's pretty nuanced. Seems like pretty much everyone is doing a pretty great job.

[beha]

What are your pronouns?

She/her but I also like they - not just for me but for everyone.

Do you use your hair as a main way to express your gender?

Yeah. My clothes are literally men's clothes and have been since teenagehood. I've grown into my sexuality as of late and enjoy the contrast of bodily femininity and oversized masculine clothes.

Do you think your gender influences your hair length goals?

No. My biggest influence is that my hair is naturally nice and I don't think it should be cut.

Does it affect how you choose to style your hair?

Not really; I usually just wear it loose or in a bun. But I bought some girly hair scrunchies recently and learned I really like the look.

Have you ever felt conflicted about your hair regarding your gender expression?

No. Not even when I had a buzz cut in HS, way back before it was a common sight among women.