"Hair dysphoria" and dissatisfaction

**purple_omelette** · June 1st, 2020, 10:51 PM

Anyone else here suffer from what I'm going to tentatively call 'hair dysphoria'? Where you feel like your hair is thinner and shorter than it objectively is? For example, my hair is well past TBL and solidly medium thickness, yet it feels subjectively shorter to me than it did at waist-length (before I decided I wanted to actively grow it). And my braid always feels so thin to me, even though I know objectively that it is not. Any tips on how to deal with this?

(also, apologies for the made-up term in the thread title, I felt it was the most accurate descriptor of what I'm trying to explain!)

**BleachedBerry** · June 2nd, 2020, 12:02 AM

I do believe I have suffered from this. Always thinking I had "short" hair. Then looking back at pictures I can't even recognizing my own hair.
My hair is BSL currently and I feel extremely short even when I know short hair is above the shoulders. and extremely short is like a pixie. I feel like I won't be satisfied untill my hair is solid tailbone length with a thick full hemline.
Honestly I don't know if I would even realize it and continue believing I have short hair.

**lostchyld** · June 2nd, 2020, 12:32 AM

A couple weeks ago, I was complaining that my hair was taking forever to reach BSL. I honestly thought that I had been growing for longer than two years. Yesterday, I realized that I’m on track to reach waist by winter. And to support that, today’s Facebook memory from two years ago clearly shows me with hair that wasn’t even chin length. I’m sure of the timing of the photo, because it was showing off my current glasses frames.

So above chin to nearly waist in two years. I’ve been putting it in updos for a few months now and it doesn’t behave well until at least BSL. So objectively, I knew. But it was in my head that I was still closer to shoulder than BSL. And I was ready to just buzz it again out of frustration.

**Larke** · June 2nd, 2020, 01:19 AM

I feel personally called out by this.

I've struggled to grow my hair out all my life and before discovering LHC, it never got bast BSL tops. Now it's at waist and a little thin around the edges for sure, but definitely not awful. Yet I constantly feel like it's as hopeless as it was two years ago, and I always feel like I'm at my terminal length. Sometimes I look back at recent photos or videos of myself and I'm shocked at the lovely mane that virtual other me has. It's kinda fun sometimes, but mostly frustrating. I wonder if that will change once I do grow out the damage I still have...

**JennGalt** · June 2nd, 2020, 01:31 AM

I’m noticing more and more “short days“ the longer my hair gets. Days on which my hair seems short even though I can look in a mirror and see my ends brushing mid-butt.

**Sarahlabyrinth** · June 2nd, 2020, 01:38 AM

Yes, I definitely think it can be a thing. I certainly still get "short" days, even at calf length!

**Eleanor_** · June 2nd, 2020, 01:40 AM

I have the opposite problem! In my head it's growing really quickly, but when I measured it yesterday I've lost an inch since last month? I probably just measured it wrong last time, but it's still a bit weird.

**Bri-Chan** · June 2nd, 2020, 03:38 AM

For years I thought I have extremely thin hair. I already knew my ponytail circumference and I knew I am a ii (~2,9 inches) so average and not thin.
But I wasn't that wrong, my hair is thin for my geographic area, here is common to have at least 3.6 inches. But I was wrong thinking that my hair was terrible because of my pony.

**purple_omelette** · June 2nd, 2020, 03:44 AM

I'm glad I'm not alone! I was starting to think I was slightly mad... Thank you to everyone who has posted a response so far, I can see it really has nothing to do with how long or thick your hair actually is, and seems to be more a state of mind.

**Milynn** · June 2nd, 2020, 05:52 AM

I can definitely relate to this, especially after some what recent damage caused by bleach - I cut from tail bone to waist+ and cannot seem to get over its' "shortness". I personally did think at that point (tbl) that it was overgrown for me anyway, my ideal is about hip length. My BF didn't really even realize I cut before I mentioned... thus, the change is hardly dramatic and my hair tends to grow 1,5 - 1,8 cm per month, meaning it won't take long until it is hip again. Still, I have a feeling that is is abysmally short

Same also with thickness. My hair is iii with medium to coarse strands, used to be circ. 5.3 inch, but due to (mostly) seasonal shedding and brief but severe infection it has thinned a little, currently being 4.8 inches. Still growing side bangs out, which might not really go all in high pony, though. But for last three months after bleach I have been absolutely sure that all my hair is thinning - those strands above shoulders as well. I was completely ready to call my hair very thin. After measuring it yesterday, it's circumference still is exactly same 4.8 inches...

During these three months after the bleach damage I have at times got these horrible - but passing - thoughts that my hair is so damaged that I need to cut it completely off. Its very depressing; it does not help that I go through all the check points in my head (it's not straw-like, it has shine, it holds waves as it used to, it's soft, it does not have split ends and only under five white spots, occasionally. It has (apparently) minor breakage (~5 -10 strands) during brushing, which is the culprit here for these thoughts. Hardly reason to "cut it all out" though. Yet, the "rationality" does not seem to help.

Mind is very peculiar thing when it decides something.