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Thread: How to cope with an emotional chop

  1. #31
    Member Belgrade Beauty's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to cope with an emotional chop

    Oh boy,I can relate to that! I chopped my mid back with a buzz cuter...And it took me years to grow it back..Needless to say I regretted it instantly and felt even worse after I did it.

  2. #32
    Member clandestine's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to cope with an emotional chop

    I've taken it as a chance to start again. I dyed it right afterwards with box dye, hated it too, and I used color oops yesterday. I'm going to try and leave it alone.

    Since making this thread it has grown a bit more.
    "I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will."

  3. #33
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    Default Re: How to cope with an emotional chop

    I'm sorry love, I've been there, too. I remember wanting to die, I felt so terrible about myself. I used to wear wigs and hair extensions to make the process of growing less painful. My advice is to kind to yourself, hair always grows back. (I'm sure everyone has said that. But it's true)
    To take the focus off your hair, try getting in to some other things, like makeup and clothes for example. that's what I did. I also like clipping on extensions and wearing a hat over top to give the illusion of long hair when I went out.
    Try to think of this as a new start, like some of the other posts suggest. Your hair has a chance to be the healthiest it has ever been now!

  4. #34
    Exhausted Mom 0xalis's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to cope with an emotional chop

    Quote Originally Posted by Arciela View Post
    I used to do this all the time! What helped me was mindfulness (living in the moment and staying focused), changed my negative self talk to positive (This made the most difference) and figured out my cognitive distortions with my therapist. After working on that for a good year, I finally was able to stop emotionally chopping and have not done so in 10 years.

    I did something similar though in 2018 July. It wasn't so much emotional but it was necessary. I had classic length bleached hair that I was attempting to slowly trim out the damage and grow my natural hair, however, due to endometriosis I was unable to care for it. I was spending 40 minutes in the shower detangling, if I even attempted to wear it down it would get in one huge knot. I just had my DBF chop it to shoulder. Now its almost waist again, probably by August. I miss my long hair but I am learning to enjoy the journey again. I appreciate each length and look forward to the next milestone. I think about hair styles I can try at each length and tell myself once I reach the next milestone then I can try new and different ones.
    Very inspirational!
    Just trying to get by

  5. #35
    Member clandestine's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to cope with an emotional chop

    UPDATE

    My hair woes have calmed and I am working with my doctor regarding my mental health issues. I wanted to jump back on here to thank everyone again for their kindness. I've re-read this thread many times when I'm feeling regret over my chop and the encouragement of everyone cheers me on. My hair is back to a natural-ish color after stripping the red and I've been working on keeping it healthy.

    I'm happy to be a part of this wonderful community!
    "I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will."

  6. #36
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    Default Re: How to cope with an emotional chop

    I'm happy you are feeling better! I can really relate to this topic as a few years back when I got pregnant, my fluctuating hormones made me all silly and for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to cut my hair in a bob because, I have no idea... I will never truly understand why I did it. At the time the compulsion was just REALLY strong and that's that I guess.

    Afterward I regretted it so much and kept telling myself never again, never again, never again, and made my husband promise to intervene if I ever hit another strange patch where I want to cut it again. Well, fast forward to 2020 and I finally had longish hair again and felt so much more like myself and so relieved whenever I look in the mirror thinking, "Thank God it finally came back," only the ends were so damaged because, I don't really know - it's a long story, so I had to cut a huge chunk off again yesterday and then I cried my eyes out and googled for hair help and then found and joined this site yesterday, lol.

    The length came back once. I know it will come back again. And it will be even better this time! But in the meantime, it's certainly hard. I used to try not tying my self worth to my hair length and just loving myself the way I am but that was much too rational and I find it works ever so much better to just pull an "Anne Shirley" and instead walk around imagining that I look like an elven princess. Then I feel much better.

  7. #37
    ^ YLVA, not YIVA! Ylva's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to cope with an emotional chop

    I'm glad to hear you're feeling better, clandestine!

    Welcome to the forum, Nymiriel! You've come to the right place for sure.

    Happy growing to you both!
    Ósnjallr maðr hyggsk munu ey lifa, ef hann við víg varask;
    en elli gefr hánum engi frið, þótt hánum geirar gefi.

    Instagram | Last.fm | Folk band | Acoustic metal duo | My links

  8. #38
    New Member TechnoticEyes's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to cope with an emotional chop

    Back in 2017 I impulsively shaved my head. I had become this girl with a green, dreadlocked, mohawk and I just wanted my natural hair again. I had not seen it in 5 years and I knew I wanted to grow my hair out as long as I could this time. So at 5am in the middle of the week, I shaved off all of my hair. It was a very emotional moment for me. I had always been either the girl with beautiful hair or the cool girl with a mohawk... at that point I had nothing... But I knew it would be for a good cause.

    I have always thought of myself as a masculine girl. I was extremely athletic and built. My face is a *slightly* feminine version of my fathers. When I shaved my head I looked just like him... I hated it. I cried plenty of times feeling so low. "Why can't I have long hair like these instagram models?" "Why do I have to look like a boy?" During this tough time I hid behind a beanie and tried to stay low. I don't really talk to anyone. I just kind've existed... After a few months my hair started to come in. It was sooooo healthy and even a bit curly! Sure I didn't like the way my hair was styled but OMG the health of my hair was amazing! My natural high and low lights were coming out and I learned that I have a fair amount of red in my hair that I had never seen before! It was awesome to be able to see my progress month to month.

    At around 6 months a bought my first wig. It wasn't super expensive and I hid the hairline with my beanie. It was super cute! I also got a few of them in crazy colors just because. At around the year mark I had 6 inches of silky, shiny hair. My hair naturally curled up like my grandmothers (Think short 50s hair). Everybody said I was a mini version of her and I loved that. I didn't start wearing my hair regularly out of wigs unto around the year and a half mark. I now had "normal" looking hair. No awkward pieces here or there. I felt in my own skin again!

    My first trim was when I hit 2 years. I had a natural V shape in my hair that I straightened out to have an even hemline. The bottom of the V was at BSL and it got cut to APL to match it with the rest of my hair. Now it will be 3 years since I shaved my head on March 22nd. I trim an inch off every 6 months and basically live in a braid now lol. I'm hoping for waist length this year! Anyway's I wanted to share my story to try to show you that you are not alone and It will be hard, and it will take patience... You can do this! I believe in you! Grow Strong!

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