Pressure to go back to regular hair dye?

[Nightshade]

I get what you're saying. I'm just saying that there are plenty of people out there who want to know as much as they can about things that relate to their field. Those are the types that are pretty passionate about what they do. Cosmetology has people like that just like every other profession.

*snip*

It just seems like there is an overarching thought on LHC that all hairstylists love cutting off excess length on a whim and churning up extra return business by ruining people's hair with heat/chemicals and that's really not the case.

You're not a jerk, but do keep in mind nobody is saying that ALL stylists are this way, it's more that a lot of people here do non-mainstream methods of hair care, and as a result, we're likely to run into problems more often. We're more likely to be deeply upset over too much length taken off than someone who goes in for a trim every 6-8 weeks, shrugs and goes, "well, I guess I can put an extra month in before my next trim." It's why so many people here cut their own hair (or in my case, I have my husband trim it) because he's invested in giving me exactly what I want, rather than feeling like it needs to be "different" enough to feel like it was "worth the money." (Something I've heard anecdotally several times on LHC--that stylists don't feel like taking half an inch straight off across the bottom will make the client feel like they had a meaningful experience, even if that's what they asked for.) We don't think "hair needs to be trimmed to grow" or any of the other often-repeated salon anecdotes that, scientifically, we know aren't true.

It IS frustrating to go to an upscale salon where people should have decent training (I'm specifically thinking of when I went for a test run for my wedding hair at an expensive Aveda salon) and had a woman literally cooing over my hair, the length and the color and condition, and then I told her I hennaed and her reaction was an instant "THAT RUINS YOUR HAIR!!" when *literally all the evidence sitting right in front of her said otherwise*. Being that I've gone to salons twice in the last 15 years (this being once, the second being my wedding day some weeks later ), yeah, it does disproportionately color my experiences because my sample size is so small.

tl:dr- I don't attribute the critical sentiments of cosmetologists to malice so much as a disconnect between what they're taught (which is what the mainstream population wants and expects) and what we (the minority population with 'extreme' lengths of hair) want and expect. The fact that many of us go rarely also means when there is a bad experience, it stands out much more than one bad trim might to someone who's hitting the salon every 6-8 weeks.

Vaguely topical story: The last time I had my hair cut by someone not my husband was when I was in college. Fed up with having too much taken off (see aforementioned "just half an inch off the bottom, please" I decided that rather going to a salon, I was going to go to the barbershop in town. I'm 19, goth, with flaming orange hair to my waist and I walk in to a tiny shop that's literally the barber and three old dudes alternating between reading the paper and chatting--it went dead silent.

After deciding not to turn heel I said, "I'd like a trim."

Old barber dude scoffs and says, "I don't do women's cuts."

"Just half an inch off the bottom. I don't want anything fancy."

He grunts and points at the chair, I hop in and he takes EXACTLY half an inch straight off the bottom. You probably could have measured it with a micrometer

I pay him (with tip) and leave happy. Not a single of the other old dudes there said a word until I left.

So that's my non-traumatising salon/barbershop trim story

[Nightshade]

The other thought that just occurred to me while I was in the shower is that a lot of the first time posts here are about / because of a salon visit gone wrong (cut too much, melted hair from bleach, etc.)--which further skews the sample size here towards being critical of haidressers. People who are happy with their experience at a salon aren't the ones searching for how to save / regrow their hair on the internet at 3:40am and aren't the ones that wind up here

[zanelle]

"Oh this colour? Well I had my hair dyed at a salon while in holidays, you like it?"
End of discussion, less than 3 mins

[LittleHealthy]

I'm always pretty vocal about my hair care opinions, especially considering I have some knowledge and experience. Just to shut them up and put them in their places, even just for 2 seconds. Maybe I just dislike hairdressers in general

the only time I was really taken aback and left speechless was at a shop last month when I was buying my favorite leave-in cream and a consultant was trying to make me change my mind by saying "it's so greasy", "it contains heavy silicones" and "after using professional products I can't even look at those". I told her that I already used this thing and liked it, but she kept insisting that it was bad. Well, thanks, lady.

Back when my hair used to be really long, I had the same thing. People saying ooooh no don't use that it's FULL OF SILICONES and bad for your hair. Even though my hair looked and felt lovely, and I'd been using that same product for a year or more. It's like, can't they see the evidence on your head? I can understand if they want to try and help but not if it's obvious you know what you want and you didn't ask!

[MusicalSpoons]

jane_marie you are a unicorn and sound like the hairdresser most of us would love to have! If you ever want to make some extra money I'm sure longhairs would be beating down your door for a reliable trim

I totally understand salons not offering henna - I think the problem for LHCers is the unwillingness to open their minds to anything contrary to what they've been taught, i.e. that henna ruins hair, even when the evidence is right in front of them.

The other thought that just occurred to me while I was in the shower is that a lot of the first time posts here are about / because of a salon visit gone wrong (cut too much, melted hair from bleach, etc.)--which further skews the sample size here towards being critical of haidressers. People who are happy with their experience at a salon aren't the ones searching for how to save / regrow their hair on the internet at 3:40am and aren't the ones that wind up here

Yes, I completely agree.

[jane_marie]

jane_marie you are a unicorn and sound like the hairdresser most of us would love to have! If you ever want to make some extra money I'm sure longhairs would be beating down your door for a reliable trim

Haha thanks! Some days I really miss cutting hair. It was a fun way to make the world a little brighter place.

[The-Young-Maid]

The other thought that just occurred to me while I was in the shower is that a lot of the first time posts here are about / because of a salon visit gone wrong (cut too much, melted hair from bleach, etc.)--which further skews the sample size here towards being critical of haidressers. People who are happy with their experience at a salon aren't the ones searching for how to save / regrow their hair on the internet at 3:40am and aren't the ones that wind up here

Thats definitely true for me lol I think I made an account not long after finding LHC but never posted anything. My first and only posted thread here was my horror story. I went in asking for 2" (kept showing on my fingers how much) and that nasty lady took off oh... at least 6"? I've since thought maybe my mom told her to cut more, but I am the customer. This is MY hair. You listen to ME. It's not like I was little and didn't care, I was in high school ffs. I've refused to go ever since. That was my only haircut horror story and I intend to keep it that way.

I understand that most hairdressers are not like this. They want you to leave happy. But damn it's certainly easy to do whatever tf you want when your customer can't see the back of their head. I, for the sake of my mental health, cannot take that risk anymore.

When my hair starts getting too long to self trim I'll give my boyfriend the honors. Hes terrified of cutting too much so it'll work perfectly lol

[LittleHealthy]

Also if a hairdresser *is* like this, it would, more often than not, simply be them trying to help and be passionate about hair care, just the same way we are. So they've been taught a certain way and are just as passionate about hair as we are! It's always a bit awkward when conversation becomes a little snappy but it happens sometimes when there's a stark contrast in opinion!

[LittleHealthy]

PS, there are salons using henna and/or cassia in my nearest city now! I only know because two separate friends go to two separate salons and both get it done to have a dark brown sort of hue. They're the salons a lot of people now go to if they have skin sensitivities etc!

Edit: dunno why I didn't just edit my PS into my previous comment, sorry! I'm stuck in messaging mode, like a text message or something (facepalm).

[shelomit]

PS, there are salons using henna and/or cassia in my nearest city now!

That's very cool! At one point I was asking around local salons whether any of them would be willing to henna my hair--out of sheer desperation, since I hadn't gotten the chance to visit family members who would do it and hadn't yet learned how to apply it to myself. No dice. I completely understood, from the perspective of time and mess, why henna wouldn't fit well into a conventional salon model. But I was getting really desperate for a while there. "I have the henna--I can mix it well--I can tell you exactly how to apply it--I just can't apply it myself!" Happily, after a lot of extremely messy experimentation, I've finally gotten to the point where I can self-apply. It's always a very exhausting day, though : p