Embrace your long hair when everybody tells you to cut it :(

[valkyrie90]

Thanks you guys for all the supports and advice. It means a lot to me , really. I guess there must be something to do with culture because here people think they have to have an idea about whatever you should do with your life , from how you wear your hair to what you feed your baby . They call it caring . Or it's because I have CP { cerebral palsy ) that makes people somehow assume that I'm incapable of deciding what's good for me and what's not . I don't know . " You cut that hair short you don't have to spend much time washing it " You have a baby now you don't have time for all that hair thing ". That's what my midwife said to me after my appointments . Then Oh you still haven't cut your hair ? Make it as a sacrifice for your baby . I didn't respond to that . i just play deaf all the time now when it comes to my hair that people talk about. They don't like diversity . They don't like when someone is different from the majority. There's nothing I can do about that .

[Begemot]

It's a good tactic to play deaf when someone tries to talk about your hair Just ignore them and do what you want.

[MusicalSpoons]

Congratulations on your baby, and for not giving in to all the pressure! I keep not having the energy to write this but I'll try:

Long hair with a disability is just like anything else with a disability!
Can you care for it yourself (easily or with difficulty, whatever)? Then it's nobody else's business.
If not, do you have a paid carer to help you with it? Then it's still nobody else's business - it's the carer's job to help you live your life, to be blunt.
The only time it becomes someone else's business is if you have unpaid help to live your life and need their help with that specific aspect (in this case caring for hair) then yes it should be discussed - but if someone is willingly helping you to live *your* life, they also need to be reasonable because part of your life is how you choose to have your hair. It's more a case of what you need doing to your hair to look after it than the actual length - most of the longest-haired members here actually have a very simple routine! (Family members who receive an allowance because they care for you are a very grey area - they're certainly not a fully-paid carer but they also are recognised as fulfilling that kind of role in addition to being a family member. Reasonableness and sensitivity is required on both sides.)

Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. I don't know how I would feel if my disability worsened to the point of needing help with my hair, simply because I'm not used to needing personal help at the moment, but I know my Mum - who is my primary carer - would not just tell me to cut my hair; we would discuss the practicalities and find a mutually acceptable compromise. From what you've written it sounds like you don't need help with your hair, and that all the nasty comments you're getting are from people who have no right to be telling what to do with it anyway. (A sacrifice to the baby?! Your baby won't care!! And short hair will get in your way because you can't put it up and will be something for them to grab. Not to mention the hairdresser appointments you'll need to keep it short. What a stupid thing to keep saying )

There seems to be something about being a new parent that makes people think you're incapable of researching what you ned to know and making good decisions. There's something about disability that makes people assume you're incapable of living or making decisions for yourself (presume competence, people!!) and you are both - a new parent and disabled so people probably somehow feel entitled to try to impose their 'helpful advice' even though you don't need it. Well, keep ignoring all the nasty comments (I can only imagine it's really hard, but you've done well so far) and enjoy your hair and, most importantly, your baby

[demonamay]

Congrats on the baby. Don't worry what other people say they often suffer from the green eyed monster hair envy. Keep your hair!

[shaluwm_agape]

CP to most people who know you or see you wont understand. I have it as well (just my legs, I am able to walk)and its just about them putting themselves in your shoes they probably have already predisposed opinions on the topic and then seeing you and you dealing with your CP they probably would think it was too much for them so they were just projecting their insecurities onto you.

I say ignore them if it gets to be too much just say that it's your decision not theirs if you can handle it that's all that matters.
I had my mother once told me that I had to chop off my hair because I was too old that one takes the Cake so that is one I'll never forget. The sad thing is I'm only 30