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Thread: Don't like how I look with my hair up

  1. #21
    Member Servana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't like how I look with my hair up

    If you're not happy with it up then don't wear it up! There's no rule saying you have to. After all, what's the point in growing all of this hair if you can't enjoy it. Personally I look absolutely awful with my hair up. That and my hair is extremely thick and heavy yet also very smooth, so it always falls out or gives me headaches if it stays up.

    I've spent most of my life around waist length and I've always worn it down. I've never had problems getting it caught in anything because I've spent my life in school and now working in an office. If your job is physical or you exercise then of course you should find a way to contain your hair but other than that I don't see why it would be too much of a problem. When my hair got to hip length I had to start watching it when I closed the car door but other than that it was mostly the same as waist.

    I don't have kids so I'm not sure how much that affects your decision to have hair up or down but I think if you must have it up then why not a low side braid? Or a low pony? Those aren't ideal but they're not as bad as a high bun for example, if you're insecure about your face with your hair up.
    Forever in a cycle of growing and cutting


  2. #22
    Member spitfire511's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't like how I look with my hair up

    Hay gaalsong I don't have your length - but am brushing waist and have this problem as well. If I don't work hard to get some 'softness' into it, I can look pretty harsh with it up - especially if the bun gets tight.

    So I wear it down a lot (which I know is easier at this length than yours) and I wear half ups a good deal. Glad that the photo helped you feel better about things and hopefully even discussing it gave you some great ideas to refresh what you're doing with it and make it more fun!

    Shoulder~APL~BSL
    ~Waist - Onward to Hip?!

  3. #23
    Member LadyCelestina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't like how I look with my hair up

    I have been planning on writing an article about wearing your hair up and not hating it for so long

    Here's a TLDR, most of which has been mentioned by other members

    x Feeling unhappy with your hair is a thing, but very often, it's just general not feeling happy about your appearancem - that you take out on hair.

    x Some people see buns as merely a practical way to wear their hair. For other people, this just results in frustration. I have started putting as much effort in my buns as I would, were I wearing my hair down. I NEVER bun to hide ugly hair. Wearing a bun because my hair is tangled or oily and I cannot wear it down just kills any motivation to bun my hair.

    x Experiment with different bun placements & don't be afraid to try out non-LHC buns! I like hairsticks on others, but I'm very picky about mine. So I use a clawclip which I hide with my hair (peacock twist and then spread the hair over the clip and around). I love how it looks.

    x Figure out what is flattering for you, and go from there. Have a hairstyle that makes you look good? What is it about it that causes that? Volume? Try playing around with how you comb your hair. I like to slick back the edges and poof up the top - the key is slicking them a bit upwards, it "lifts" your face a bit. Side part is also flattering for most people

    I hated updos when I had the "you get used to it" mentality. For me, the updo simply HAS to make me feel great about my appearance, and to get to that point, I had to put in some thought and effort.

  4. #24
    Secretly a Bald Dude AmaryllisRed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't like how I look with my hair up

    Yeah updos don't flatter my face, either, although I've been told I have a nice neck? But I'm sure I look harsh when I wear buns. And I definitely know what you mean about the skirts. I feel like I'm performing or something.
    I think bangs or face-framing layers or accent braids would be the way to go.
    I don't know how old your kids are or anything but I have found in mom life it's basically impossible to wear hair down at any length.
    I'm really just coming to terms with the idea of looking different and not caring what people think.

  5. #25
    Member spitfire511's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't like how I look with my hair up

    Quote Originally Posted by AmaryllisRed View Post
    Yeah updos don't flatter my face, either, although I've been told I have a nice neck? But I'm sure I look harsh when I wear buns. And I definitely know what you mean about the skirts. I feel like I'm performing or something.
    I think bangs or face-framing layers or accent braids would be the way to go.
    I don't know how old your kids are or anything but I have found in mom life it's basically impossible to wear hair down at any length.
    I'm really just coming to terms with the idea of looking different and not caring what people think.
    Hey amaryllisred how old are your kiddos? What's crazy to me is that I didn't join LHC until after my first was born - and it was this fact - that there was no point in trying to wear it down/love it etc while chasing toddlers that let me really grow longer than I ever had (I was a SERIAL cutter before!)

    Now that my youngest is 9 (but really since he was about 5-6) I've been able to spend the time and energy again to do more with it.

    So maybe having kids is a friend to benign neglect for some of us anyway?

    Shoulder~APL~BSL
    ~Waist - Onward to Hip?!

  6. #26
    Secretly a Bald Dude AmaryllisRed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't like how I look with my hair up

    Quote Originally Posted by spitfire511 View Post
    Hey amaryllisred how old are your kiddos? What's crazy to me is that I didn't join LHC until after my first was born - and it was this fact - that there was no point in trying to wear it down/love it etc while chasing toddlers that let me really grow longer than I ever had (I was a SERIAL cutter before!)

    Now that my youngest is 9 (but really since he was about 5-6) I've been able to spend the time and energy again to do more with it.

    So maybe having kids is a friend to benign neglect for some of us anyway?
    They're 3, 5, 7, and 11. I definitely think having kids can encourage benign neglect!
    ETA: It helps me grow long, too. Getting a haircut is such an ordeal that it's easier just not to.

  7. #27
    Member spitfire511's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't like how I look with my hair up

    Quote Originally Posted by AmaryllisRed View Post
    They're 3, 5, 7, and 11. I definitely think having kids can encourage benign neglect!
    ETA: It helps me grow long, too. Getting a haircut is such an ordeal that it's easier just not to.
    This is at the God's-honest truth. When DS was around 5 I went for a haircut and had to take both of them (single mom for the win) and he shut his hand in the door of the salon! NOT worth it!

    Shoulder~APL~BSL
    ~Waist - Onward to Hip?!

  8. #28
    Member dagny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't like how I look with my hair up

    I can definitely relate to this post. I have a square jaw, very short forehead (pear shaped face!) and not much softness to my face. I have been told in the past that i don't look good with my hair pulled back, and I completely agree. Slicked back hair or tight buns/pony tails look terrible.

    To offset these issues I do the following:

    1. twist the front parts/sides of my hair before I put it in a bun to create softness and fullness
    2. braid the front parts of my hair before I put it in a bun
    3. I like a high, poofy bun almost at the top of my head (prefer a sock bun so my hair will also curl)
    4. wear it down in a half-up
    5. wear it down in a braid
    6. part my hair before I put it into a bun and sometimes use those tortoiseshell combs on either side to create some volume
    7. pull out face framing strands -- as much as I am wanting
    8. wear pretty earrings (not around the toddlers, though!)

    When my boys were toddlers, it was easy to grow out the hair due to benign-neglect (as previous posters have mentioned). I often wore it down in a braid (hip length) and one of my sons (about 3 or 4 at the time) would sit on my lap and play with my braid. Well, one day I got the crazy notion to cut off my hair to chin length. When he sat on my lap the following day, his sweet chubby hand reached up to grab my braid and it was gone. That still breaks my heart and I wish I had never cut it (not to mention I looked TERRIBLE with short hair!).

    As for skirts/dresses -- I wear them almost exclusively. I find that if the outfit looks "frumpy", it doesn't matter how the hair looks because I will just look frumpy! Wearing more stylish, fun, and modern pieces keep me from looking like I am in a costume. Today, for example, I am wearing a long skirt, long-sleeved T-shirt, and a Rick Owens style asymmetrical Moto vest with my hair up in a top of my crown sock-bun. It resembles something I've seen on the runway models. No frumpy costumes here! And it is sooooooo comfy! Perfect for playing with the kiddos.


    I started growing at chin, grew to my goal of classic, then cut back to waist where I will stay and enjoy for awhile.

  9. #29
    Hiding in plain sight spidermom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't like how I look with my hair up

    I don't particularly like how I look with my hair up, either. I've grown my hair out as far as classic length but a couple of years ago I cut it to collarbone length with the thought that I'd never have to wear it up at that length. Joke's on me, I discovered that it annoys me greatly when hair is in my face and tickling my neck. Although I enjoyed the shorter hair for 2 years, I discovered that I'm a "hair up and out of the way" kind of person so am growing it again.

  10. #30
    Member littlestarface's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't like how I look with my hair up

    Oh I hate how I look with my hair up so much but I hate my hair down even more so up it goes loooool. I cannot stand the feeling of hair all over my arms,neck,back uuuggh nooooo. When I wear my hair up tho my face looks so harsh and my forehead so long its not a good look.

    How can I control my life when I can't even control my hair!

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