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Thread: Very frustrated

  1. #1
    Member Rebeccalaurenxx's Avatar
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    Default Very frustrated

    Ive posted about my hair several times but I think I am going to just end up getting a large cut at the end of the month...
    I am looking at my ends right now by the light of the computer and I have found 10+ split ends just looking for a few minutes.
    I feel like that is a LOT to find in a single siting....
    I just cut off 1" a month ago also, so I do NOT understand why my ends look this terrible.
    I could cut off another inch and it would feel great again, but it feels like a month later, the hair will be breaking and splitting at the ends again.
    And I am not going to sit here and s&d all the splits I find because there are so many imo that it would just make me feel more upset.

    I do olaplex, I did ROO. I do deep treatments, I do LOC to maintain moisture.
    I feel like I have tried everything... but coloring. Thats the only bad habit I have held onto and I think that is what is hindering my healthy hair.
    It just does not seem to be getting better and I think I need to rid myself of the color before I will ever see any improvement.
    I am going to eventually cut out all the black dye because I know I need to stop coloring. But...
    At the end of the month I am getting my bangs cut back into my face and I am tempted to let her cut layers into my hair so that I can at least enjoy my hair, even if its not as healthy as I want right now.Eventually the hair will be cut as I grow out the dye so I am tempted to just go for it and give my hair some style until the dye is all gone.

    I am afraid I am just stressing, and will get the layers in and then regret it when my hair feels thinner. I havent had a "proper" styled hair cut in 10yrs+ and have a hard time thinking about letting go of some inches... but I feel like I am at a point where I have no real choice... And I could cut a blunt cut in, but I am finding that blunt hair isnt really my style. I feel like with layers I at least have a chance to keep a little length...
    I have been fighting it for so long, and I dont want to let go of the length, but it feels more like work than fun.
    I am going to talk to the stylist, see if she can do what I need with minimal damage (no razor) but I feel like I need to let go because the hair is just frustrating me.

    ----Pixie---Shoulder---APL----BSL---WL---HIP---TBL---CL---->
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  2. #2
    Member pailin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Very frustrated

    If the frustration has been a while, and you're planning to cut out the dye eventually, then you're probably ready to just go for it. If you cut layers in, it would still be in hair you plan to grow out and cut off, right? Your hair ought to be something to enjoy, not stress over.


  3. #3
    Member Begemot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Very frustrated

    It sounds like you know what you want to do. I don't think it's a bad idea at all to experiment with your hair while you wait for the dye to grow out. Maybe avoid doing many changes at once though. Head over to the thread for those who are growing hair dye out, it's a very nice and supportive thread. Hopefully you can feel at ease about your hair as soon as possible.
    You are cast out from the heavens to the ground
    Blackened feathers falling down



  4. #4
    Literary Guru;) Nini's Avatar
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    Default Re: Very frustrated

    10+ split ends is nothing, some of us are just more prone to them. If I were gonna stress about that myself I'd have to go shaved all the time.

    As for cutting in layers, is that something you really want and wanna care for, go for it. However if there are certain styles you're waiting to wear keep in mind that layers might make that more difficult. And right now it sounds like you're not quite sure.


    October 2007 at the Mara Hippo Lodge in Kenya

  5. #5
    Member Joules's Avatar
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    Default Re: Very frustrated

    Hair is just hair. It grows back, it's not teeth so if it's been making you so upset for so long, I say go for a cut. Just don't forget the 2 week rule, maybe think about the style more carefully.

    About layers: do you mean actual layers or just a deep V hemline/face-framing layers? Maybe the latter would be less dramatic of a change for you?
    APL ~ BSL ~ MBL ~ WL ~ HL ~ BCL ~ TBL ~ CL
    Growing out henna since November 1st, 2018
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  6. #6
    Member GrowlingCupcake's Avatar
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    Default Re: Very frustrated

    If you are not happy with your hair, then it's definitely time for a change.

    I don't remember if this was suggested but maybe using less products might work? I was doing LOC for a bit but found my hair does better with just L or just LO. I can always apply the C whenever I feel like I need it.

    Either way, like Joules says, hair will grow back. Hopefully when it does, you will be happier with it

  7. #7
    Member
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    Default Re: Very frustrated

    How often do you dye your hair & how far down do you place the dye?
    I'm also growing out my hair but can't seem to give up the black dye either, so I've colored my hair throughout the hair growing process (not the first year, but this past year).

    I try to leave my hair alone as long as I can (when my my roots start to become fairly noticeable, probably every 3 or 4 months) & I dye ONLY the roots.

    I wash my hair every other day (using medicated shampoos) but I use the loreal color safe conditioner as well. I put on my shampoo, lather that up, and then put on the conditioner while the shampoo is still sitting on my scalp, and I let both of those sit for 3ish minutes. I do that twice. This way, the shampoo won't strip as much from my length since the conditioner acts like a barrier. & Doing it this way helps my color hold up fairly well. A little brown may peek through in the sunlight, but considering how frequently I wash it & what products I have to use, I don't think that's too bad. Perhaps that's something you could try?

  8. #8
    Cat Whisperer lithostoic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Very frustrated

    10 split ends is not the end of the universe. With fine hair it is next to impossibls to not have any splits. Your hair is still going to grow whether there are splits or not. That being said, it's your hair, do whatever makes you happy. Stop trying to justify your decision to us!
    CBL → APL → BSL→ MBL →WL → HIP
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  9. #9
    Hiding in plain sight spidermom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Very frustrated

    Have fun looking at hair styles and deciding what you like.

    I never could get ahead of my split ends, either. I really enjoyed the change of short hair, and now that I've decided to grow it long again, I try to never-ever look at the ends. If it's going to split down there, I don't want to know. haha

  10. #10
    LHC FairyGodMum lapushka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Very frustrated

    Didn't you still have a lot of damage from dye? At least, I remember when you first came to LHC that you told us about that. It takes a long long long time to grow out. And you can't fix that with anything. Unfortunately.

    Maybe do a 2 inch trim, and see how you fare. It has to come out slowly, don't rush things, 1 to 2 inches is going to make a difference, I'm willing to bet. Stay positive! It's not called "a journey" for nothing.
    WCC method (washing) --- Rinse-out oil (MO) --- LOC/LCO method (styling)

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