Do you have a double standard for how long is "Long" on others/yourself?

[ETJ CURLS]

I've been having the weirdest hair dysphoria lately, where I look at others with "long" (at least APL and longer) hair and perceive it as both long and longer than my hair, even in the cases where that is not possible.

[vanillacake]

Personally, once my hair reaches a length that is longer than it has ever been before, then it will feel long to me.

[floridaorchid]

Now this may feel off topic, but I hold a comparison.
I used to be a part of a support group for people with eating disorders. The general consensus was that they didn't feel .... enough, sick enough, thin enough, short enough, tall enough, pretty enough, repulsive enough. People described exactly what they wanted while looking right at it in the mirror. They'd say in 5 lbs they'd be comfortable, just a few more, once I look like them... it's endless.
It's a form of imposter syndrome and dysmorphia and I see it echo off the walls in here.
My hair doesn't feel long, though it's longer than any of my friends. I know it won't feel long when I get to my goal.

I agree with you. I had an ED, so I could see this being a link.

[LauraLongLocks]

I don’t think my idea of “long” has changed since LHC. I always thought that APL or longer was long. And I always thought that WL or longer was really long. However, my hair goals have become more defined since LHC. Prior to LHC I knew I wanted longer hair, but I didn’t know how long. Since LHC, I decided I want knee length hair. I’m open to longer than knee length, but I’ll be astounded and thrilled if I can ever make it to knee. I once barely made it to classic, but my hair began breaking off and basically disintegrating at the ends. I’ve been stuck at TBL with unhealthy, split, wispy ends for years now. I’m hoping with more tender loving care I can retain more of my growth.

Onward to my next milestone! I’ll be so happy if I can make it to classic and keep it.

[baanoo]

This is all really interesting to think about.

There were times in the past when I’ve thought, ‘ooh look at that person’s long hair!’ or felt like my hair wasn’t as long as it really is but that has gone away once I recognized that my hair doesn’t have the weighty heft of a C strand/iii thickness mane and is never going to drape in a certain way. It was much more about releasing an expectation for my hair to behave in a certain way than anything else.

I also think that my chop last fall from TBL to WL+ solidified my sense of my hair being objectively long.

[Spitfire]

This is all really interesting to think about.

There were times in the past when I’ve thought, ‘ooh look at that person’s long hair!’ or felt like my hair wasn’t as long as it really is but that has gone away once I recognized that my hair doesn’t have the weighty heft of a C strand/iii thickness mane and is never going to drape in a certain way. It was much more about releasing an expectation for my hair to behave in a certain way than anything else.

I also think that my chop last fall from TBL to WL+ solidified my sense of my hair being objectively long.

Yes!
My hair is wavier and wispier than many others, so I see someone with APL hair that's 1C/III/M and it looks twice as long as my hair.
I have some soft layers and I'm tempted to slowly get rid of them as I grow it out, but I like the motion and wave enhancement my layers give me. I often wonder if my hair would look longer or thicker without them, but then I worry that it would look boxy and limp.

[Pilate]

Not really. However, I *do* raise my standards for what counts as long depending on how long my own hair is!

[SandyBottom]

Yeah, I'd say so. WL or HL looks long on others but I didn't feel like my hair was "getting long" until about MTL. Part of it is that my hair was WL or longer for most of my life with a few exceptions. Someone stated upthread about how the thickness also changes their perception of length. That's true for me too. Now that I can feel it on my upper calves when I walk, it feels long to me, but by others' standards, they might think of that as short. Perception is warped. Speaking of which...how come my hair feels thin if it's at the upper end of average circumference?

[plasmius]

Definitely! My hair is around BSL right now and that seems to be common enough length, that I don't consider it "special" that I have it. Maybe it's because I've wanted WL or longer for a while that it's what I unconsciously think of as having "long hair." I put WL and longer on a pedestal, even though what I have is just fine, and also considered long hair

[diamond_storm]

I always feel like my hair is shorter than it is! It's at waist now, so it's quite long for the average population. Especially since joining LHC, I always feel like I have imposter syndrome when it comes to long hair I'm curious if that'll change as my hair continues to grow.