Almost Ready to Throw in the Towel

[Jamie Lynn 40]

I am sooooo stressed out with my hair that I am almost ready to just give up the idea that my hair will ever get to a long length. Right now it is 19 inches long & I cut off 1/2 inch on the 8th & now the ends are dry/frizzy/split/thin again. It really upsets me a lot. I stopped using cones, clarified my hair, use jojoba, coconut, camellia oil, don't wash it everyday, etc. etc.
However, I do color/bleach it light blonde but I am going to only do the roots from now on.Is it just hopeless for me to grow healthy hip level hair? I just turned 40 years old & my hair has been the same length for years & it doesn't grow fast at all even though I take vitamins & my diet isn't lacking anything. Thanks for any advice.
JamieLynn40

[lora410]

unfortunately the bleach is probably your main issue. A girl at work here bleaches and her breaks off like you wouldn't believe. I think you may benefit with a wear hair up for x amount of days so you don't focus on it so much. best of luck

[aries]

I may not be much help but my best friend does the same to her hair and whenever I see her I pin her down to a chair and do an SMT on her for many hours. This helps her hair tremendously. Have you tried this for your hair? Hers is at tailbone and in pretty bad shape but the added moisture seems to help make it more bareable for her. Also as lora410 said, you should wear it up and not worry about it so much. With it being dry and breaking easy I would put it in a loose peacock twist or something that doesnt' add stress to your hair. Anything tight is probably going to cause more breakage. Just my two cents.

[justgreen]

Using oils on my hair didn't help it any. Only real moisture helped, distilled WATER and HONEY, and lots of it. Oh and wearing it up alot, that really helped keep the moisture on those ends. That's all I have to say.

[Jamie Lynn 40]

lora 410, aries, & justgreen-
Thanks for the advice. What is a loose peacock twist? Yes I have done smt's a few times. They do seem to help but how often are you supposed to do them & how long are you supposed to leave it on the hair? So just water & honey on the hair will help? Thanks again.
JamieLynn40

[Anje]

I agree with the ladies above -- Like it or not, the bleach is damaging to your hair. Doing root touchups only will be better than redoing the length, but as long as you lighten your hair you are starting out with damage. Whether you chose to do so is up to you, but you need to be aware that you're going to have a more difficult time than you would if you did not lighten your hair.

As long as you bleach your hair, I can almost guarantee that you'll do better with protein treatments, which will help keep the hair structure strong. You'll also want to do deep moisture treatments regularly, because damaged hair does not hold moisture well (not that all healthy hair necessarily does, either). Like Justy said, that means real moisture -- honey, water, maybe aloe, not just oils. (SMTs are great for many of us!)

Finally, you need to chill out a little. We all go through phases where our hair is just not working well -- it's dry, or breaking, or stiff, or stretchy, or sticky, or shedding, or sticking up weirdly. That's normal, and it will pass with patience and good care. If I quit when my hair decided to annoy me, I'd be running around with a shaved head right now, and I think most if not all of our membership would have short styles. It's just hair, and bad hair days (heck, bad hair months) happen. Give it some TLC in the form of protein and moisture treatments, and otherwise try to pull it back and not worry about it too much. Don't stress too much about your hair, and it will grow. That's what hair does.

ETA: Do SMTs as often as it seems like you need one. I'd venture to say your hair might need them every week, at minimum. I'd say to leave it in at least 30 minutes, but 10 minutes is better than not at all. Some members (Katze, for example) have even done them for every single wash when dealing with breaking bleached hair. If it's dry, condition it!

[Jamie Lynn 40]

Anje-
Thanks for the info. I really appreciate it & you are right. I just get impatient I guess sometimes. I will take your advice about the honey & smt's & try really hard not to worry. Maybe I will reach my goal someday....I hope so anyway.
JamieLynn40

[Melisande]

Are you sure light blonde is the only flattering color for you? Can't you compromise somehow and find another hair color that is less stressful to your hair? A color that is closer to your natural color, or that can be reached by more gentle means than bleach.

Bleach is so hard on the hair.

[Fencai]

my best friend bleaches her hair every two weeks (sometimes sooner) and has waist length hair.
She does have a lot of damage, but the one thing that keeps her going is Bone Marrow treatments.
Im not sure where you are located, but you can get it at Sally's Beauty Supply. Its super cheap and easy to do, you just put it in on damp hair put a shower cap over it, leave it on for about 20 mins and then rinse.

it does smell kinda funky, but it works. I used it when I used to bleach.

she also puts just straight conditioner in her hair if it feels dry. She'll take a small amount, rub it in her palms and then smooth through hair and leave it in. She says some days you just have to deal with it not looking great and wearing a ponytail.
she only washes every 4 days.

[Periwinkle]

How much lighter than your natural colour do you want your hair? I've not done it myself, but I've seen some pretty impressive results achieved with honey lightening. There's a thread on it somewhere - you might want to check it out. If you can achieve the results you want with honey, then you'll cut out a lot of damage from bleach.