Hairdresser guilt advice please

**MegHan-Solo** · December 8th, 2016, 04:48 AM

I have had the same hairdresser my whole life, and she is really good and really lovely. She always cautions me about drastic changes and never takes off too much, sometimes I have to ask her to take off more. However, A few years ago I decided I wanted to be blonde, and after a lot of previous failings of trying it at home I asked my hairdresser to do it. She eventually relented and did it gradually by adding more and more highlights over the period of a few months. It did look lovely when it was first done. However, the maintenance was awful and I also wanted to start growing my hair and was concerned about the amount of damage the bleach was doing. Anyway, the work my hairdresser had put into it made her reluctant to cover it with brown. I went a darker blonde but my roots were so much maintenance still, and my hairdresser is quite expensive, I'm only on apprentice wage and I am saving for a house. So I stupidly dyed over it brown to make the roots less noticeable. Anyway, the colour wouldn't hold on my ends due to the damage and they just looked a horrible dry pool green, and I was paranoid about the damage travelling up my hair, so I tried to cut it myself. BIG mistake. I ended up with a wonky chunky awful looking cut. I had to fix it but I was to scared to go to my hairdresser due to the state of my hair, I know it's silly but I had already done two things she told me not to do and I got very anxious about it. So I went to another hairdresser. She cut my hair into an inverted bob with layers when I said I just wanted the worst of the damage gone and my hair evened up. So now I'm patiently waiting for it to grow out. Due to the damage still left though I am going to keep needing trims and I really want to go back to my usual hairdresser because she was so good but I feel awful, like I've seriously betrayed her. What do you guys think I should do?

**Borgessa** · December 8th, 2016, 05:26 AM

Tell your hairdresser you were out of town for a while and had to get it done whilst you were away. If your hairdresser had done what you asked for in the first place, you would not have had to " cheat " on her. You are the boss of your head.

**lapushka** · December 8th, 2016, 05:47 AM

Originally Posted by MegHan-Solo

I have had the same hairdresser my whole life, and she is really good and really lovely. She always cautions me about drastic changes and never takes off too much, sometimes I have to ask her to take off more. However, A few years ago I decided I wanted to be blonde, and after a lot of previous failings of trying it at home I asked my hairdresser to do it. She eventually relented and did it gradually by adding more and more highlights over the period of a few months. It did look lovely when it was first done. However, the maintenance was awful and I also wanted to start growing my hair and was concerned about the amount of damage the bleach was doing. Anyway, the work my hairdresser had put into it made her reluctant to cover it with brown. I went a darker blonde but my roots were so much maintenance still, and my hairdresser is quite expensive, I'm only on apprentice wage and I am saving for a house. So I stupidly dyed over it brown to make the roots less noticeable. Anyway, the colour wouldn't hold on my ends due to the damage and they just looked a horrible dry pool green, and I was paranoid about the damage travelling up my hair, so I tried to cut it myself. BIG mistake. I ended up with a wonky chunky awful looking cut. I had to fix it but I was to scared to go to my hairdresser due to the state of my hair, I know it's silly but I had already done two things she told me not to do and I got very anxious about it. So I went to another hairdresser. She cut my hair into an inverted bob with layers when I said I just wanted the worst of the damage gone and my hair evened up. So now I'm patiently waiting for it to grow out. Due to the damage still left though I am going to keep needing trims and I really want to go back to my usual hairdresser because she was so good but I feel awful, like I've seriously betrayed her. What do you guys think I should do?

Just a quick question, but could you write in clear paragraphs. Such a wall of text is really hard for me to read.

We all have had our disasters (trust me). The key is you're here now, and there are awesome ways to cut your own hair (Feye's method, the compact cuts), so there's no longer any excuse to let a hairdresser not do what you want.

Try microtrimming. The thread is around here, somewhere...

**MegHan-Solo** · December 8th, 2016, 06:31 AM

Originally Posted by Borgessa

Tell your hairdresser you were out of town for a while and had to get it done whilst you were away. If your hairdresser had done what you asked for in the first place, you would not have had to " cheat " on her. You are the boss of your head.

Thanks, I'll do that. And that is true, she should get over it.

**MegHan-Solo** · December 8th, 2016, 06:32 AM

Originally Posted by lapushka

Just a quick question, but could you write in clear paragraphs. Such a wall of text is really hard for me to read.

We all have had our disasters (trust me). The key is you're here now, and there are awesome ways to cut your own hair (Feye's method, the compact cuts), so there's no longer any excuse to let a hairdresser not do what you want.

Try microtrimming. The thread is around here, somewhere...

Yes sorry I'll make an effort to use paragraphs in the future. Thanks! I'll definitely look into methods of cutting my own hair properly.

**Frankenstein** · December 8th, 2016, 06:42 AM

I wouldn't worry about it really. It's your hair and what you do with it is ultimately your business

**MegHan-Solo** · December 8th, 2016, 07:15 AM

Thanks

I will keep reminding myself of that.

**spidermom** · December 8th, 2016, 07:55 AM

I wouldn't lie to her. It will be so much worse if she finds out from somebody else that you weren't really out of town. I'd just go back to her and if she asks, say something like "I was experimenting".