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Thread: Feeling conflicted about trim

  1. #1
    Member Arwenlily's Avatar
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    Default Feeling conflicted about trim

    I've been in the process of growing out dye and heat damage, and the resulting thin ends. I planned a trim for today, which is my first in about 5 months. Before the trim, most my hair reached 28" but the ends were very uneven with bits near APL, some at BSL and others at MBL.

    I am so happy that my hair is finally growing again. I was worried about a lack of progress from my ends breaking off. Well, anyway ... I had my husband trim the longest bits of my hair. But when he was finished I wasn't satisfied, so I asked him to even out the hemline to where the hairs at BSL laid. He said, "but that is 2 1/2 inches, are you sure?" And I said, I don't want my to just feel long, I want it to look healthier too. So I had him cut the 2 inches or so.

    At first, I was relieved and thrilled at how much healthier my hair looked. But as I sat with it, I really noticed how short it was. My hair was no longer brushing the middle of my back and the reduced length made my curls shrink up even more. Now I'm just barely at 26 inches and I kind of feel terrible ... I was just starting to get somewhere and then I cut off all my progress.

    I keep trying to think about the benefits of the trim but I also keep thinking, was it worth it?

  2. #2
    Member Seventy7's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling conflicted about trim

    hugs to you!

    You didn't do wrong, and I'm sure it's worth it. If your hair has reached MBL, it will again.
    Growing out damaged hair just is a pain and there is no right way to do it. You don't magically get all healthy hair when you decide to.

    I think it is really sweet that your husband was worries about cutting too much.

    Would you consider microtrimming every month or two, so you only have to cut a tiny bit? I do this, and because I know I will be trimming soon again, I don't have to completely fix my ends in one go.

    Be gentle to yourself. Enjoy the healthier ends! It's gonna be ok.
    <Insert something witty and clever here>

  3. #3
    Member diddiedaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling conflicted about trim

    I do this all the time, except my beef is thin ends rather than damage. I also think it looks loads better then regret the length loss. Give it a few days and you'll be back to appreciating how much better it looks.

    Growing hair if your starting point is not perfect is a real test of patience. You have to be able to enjoy your hair though or there's no point to growing it. It's taken me a year and a half to realise that. I want long hair yes, but long hair that looks nice. I'm at a point now that I'm just going to micro trim, you get the best of both worlds then, growth and progress with with your problem ends.

    Happy growing, and don't let it stress you.

  4. #4
    ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Johannah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling conflicted about trim

    There are two kind of progress: quality and quantity. Today you made progress in the first category. And IMO quality goes above quantity anyway, so there's nothing wrong with cutting 2" more if you think it was necessary. I've been where you are, feeling stuck but if I look back now my hair is almost BCL, I wouldn't do it different. You'll reach your goal before you know it






  5. #5
    Gregorian Enchantress Theobroma's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling conflicted about trim

    You haven't cut off all your progress, you've made progress towards a fuller hemline! You haven't slowed down your journey towards the hemline you want at the length you want, you've only prioritised hemline over length for a bit. And if you don't trim for a few months now, you'll grow back most of those 2.5" by the end of the year in any case. Enjoy the improvement and don't fret about the length!


  6. #6
    Member Shia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling conflicted about trim

    I did the same thing a couple of weeks ago. I'm growing out bleach damage and finding myself having to trim off my growth every month to combat the crumbling ends. Its so depressing, because you feel stuck in a rut, but I just keep telling myself that it won't last forever.

    This year I've been microtrimming regularly, as it's just too heartbreaking to let it grow, then whack it all off in one chop after a few months or more. It's been good because although I haven't seen any progress in length, like others have said, I'm progressing in the hemline department.

    Hang in there, and I'm sure you'll be feeling better about it in a few days. Enjoy your lovely fresh ends

  7. #7
    odango atama cat11's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling conflicted about trim

    I thin kit's worth it if your hair Is now even at the hem and feels better. Plus, you'll still see progress this year. I just cut off my second inch this year.... Yeah, I might get to waist a couple months later, but it's worth it for the added neatness and healthiness. I think your hair will grow back before you know it <3
    ۞ CBL~APL~BSL~MBL~WL~HL~BCL~~TBL~CL~FT~KL ۞
    ISO: Lady Idun >6 in. Sno Cone & Candy Apple Red.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Feeling conflicted about trim

    When you are growing out damage, it's inevitable for most of us that we have to do slightly bigger trims along the way. It does make you feel conflicted, because it's difficult to lose length, and then you wonder if you made the wrong decision. My thoughts are that you will always get that feeling, but that you still did the right thing

  9. #9
    Complex creature
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    Default Re: Feeling conflicted about trim

    Hello Awenlily !

    You know what ? I have been looking at the pictures I took when I found LHC and started getting interested in growing my hair as a goal per se. Until this time, I never had a defined length goal. My hair was growing and I knew nothing about "steps" such as APL, BSL, etc. I didn't know about micro-trim as well, and for me, to get a trim meant to chop of 5 to 20 cm from time to time. I remember that I always enjoyed my fresh ends despite the loss of length because I had no goal of reaching this or that step. So finally, even if growing with LHC is a lot of fun (and I do enjoy my hair much more on an every day basis), it adds a little stress due to the "goal to reach". It's more frustrating when you have precise expectations ! There is a frame. There are threads with fellows hair growers to whom who can compare your progresses and that can be as encouraging as it can be stressful or depressing ! Lol.

    Well, I am not a young woman anymore, I have already had my hair down to TBL-classic area several times in my life, so I have got some more philosophical state of mind about my growth. And I definitely prefer to privilege quality to length. I now plan to trim at the end of my one-year-no-trim challenge 2015 to attack 2016 with fresh ends (and it is already p**** me off because I am so happy to reach waist soon !! Lol). But hey, even if I cut 5 cm I'll be back around MBL, which seemed a dreamy length only one year ago ! That's why I love looking at my old pics : I remember how happy I was when I reached APL^^. It's worth remembering ! By that not-so-far-away-time, BSL seemed such a long length, ha ha ha !... Actually I try to act with my hair like I do with my money : once I decide to spend my money for something expensive, I don't regret it afterwards. When I decide to cut, I wait until I am really fed up so I can enjoy the relief of cutting without regretting the loss of length. Once the cut is done, I know that I have to focus on a new goal that will motivate me enough to forget about my regrets. And just the wonderful look of my fresh ends in the mirror is soothing enough to make me feel better.

    I share the other posters' feeling about the fact that your disappointment will soon be over. Enjoy your gorgeous shiny, super sproingy curls, and how vivid and energetic they are ! Look at your great soft hemline. Think when you had dreamed to be there before, when it was shorter. It's good to compare our hair length with our own progresses, sometimes.

  10. #10
    Henna lover ♥ parkmikii's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling conflicted about trim

    I too went through a 2 inch trim two months ago because my hemline got pretty thin. And all I have to say is that I'm much happier with my hair right now. So for me quality is above quantity and after all hair grows, there's no need to sacrifice the blunt hemline you prefer just for some length. Where's the fun in growing the hair if you don't like how it looks? But if you prefer to not have to trim this much in the future I think you could try microtrimming even every other month to take off about 1/4 inch to freshen up the ends

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